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AIBU?

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Is 35 years a long time?

3 replies

Catherine57 · 15/06/2022 15:50

Can I please ask whether people agree with something that was said to me? I have been with my husband 35 years. Last year a person said in passing that 35 years 'was a long time to remain faithful'. It was said to me but with reference to my husband not with reference to me. The person who said it is not a friend nor even an acquaintance but they are a professional in the counselling profession.

Is it unreasonable to take for granted faithfulness for 35 years? The comment has been playing on my mind.

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 15/06/2022 15:52

35 years is a long time but being faithful is surely a reasonable expectation of marriage? I know many fail to meet this expectation but it is still what most people expect

GnomeDePlume · 15/06/2022 16:12

Congratulations on 35 years. We reached 30 years last year.

I don't think remaining faithful and true for 35 years is remarkable. To me the challenges come at various points: right at the start, having children, major job or health changes. They aren't split equally across the years.

All these changes can challenge a relationship. Surviving those challenges with your relationship intact is remarkable.

Sunnytwobridges · 15/06/2022 16:39

I kind of agree. I think a lot of people get bored of each other or want to try something new so 35 does seem like a long time. Maybe cause I don't know many people that have lasted that long in a marriage.

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