Are they taking the p***? AIBU

[asitwas12]

Hi all, long time reader first time poster. I am so sorry this is long but I am so lost and worried.
Me and my DH have been searching for a home to buy for about two years, we have made an offer on this one house, it was no accepted but about a year later the house was on sale again as previous sale did not go through due to issues with the buyer and long story short our offer has now been accepted we have gone through all the stages of conveyancing, we have exchanged contracts, our deposit has been paid to our solicitors and all we have left to do is complete.
The buyer is a lovely woman she recognised me from previous viewing and is very happy about me and DH purchasing the house as she has been waiting to move out since the first time the house was for sale, she has had an offer on a house accepted and was just awaiting the sale of this house to complete.
We have agreed an initial completion date of 13/05/22, the seller then had to change the completion date as her mortgage offer has expired and had to obtain a new one, so we said fine we can wait.
I had constantly asked for updates and was told the above chain's mother was on palliative care so they could not complete before 10/06/22, which I had to agree too. A new completion date was agreed, 13/06/2022, so you can see I was so excited to complete and get work started on my new home. A day later I have agreed to the new completion date I get an email from my solicitor saying the above chain's mother has passed away so a new completion date has to be agreed.
I live in a rented tiny flat, I have managed to persuade my agency to give me a break clause and allow me to end the contract early by showing proof of completion but I can not do it, please bare in mind my deposit was paid in late April and it is now mid June and I still do not have a set completion date.
I am so worried the sale is going to fall through and we won't be able to move in and have to go through everything again. Is that a possibility?
I am a teacher and can only have work done to the house during my summer holidays so I need to complete before then but I am scared it won't happen.
AIBU thinking I am being made a fool in-between all of this when I have been ready to complete since April?

Thank you for reading

You say you've exchanged contracts, but don't have a firm completion date. What country are you in?

Tbh I think you are being a little unreasonable. It's been less than 2 months from exchange? That's not unusual. The mortgage expiry was your seller's issue and the death is her seller's issue so different people. I would certainly not want to move house in the first few days after my mother had died!
Whilst it's understandably frustrating for you I don't think it means the house chain will collapse. You are beyond exchange and everyone would have to forfeit their deposits. Get a new date and try to relax....

Hi, sorry I meant I have Pre-exchanged. Im in the UK, buying a house in London

They sound like valid reasons to me. The mortgage one could've been handled better but the mother dying is understandable as a delay - their priorities are elsewhere. Unfortunately, delays of weeks or months are quite normal, and you have to be patient. It's one reason 'no chain' is so attractive. Can you send solicitors' emails as proof to your landlord?

Just think, in the old days everything was done by post and each little thing took ages. Sorry, that's no consolation. I hope it all comes together soon for you.

To be fair, I don't think a death in the family is an unreasonable excuse for delaying completion.

Thank you all, I have realised I have come across quiet unsympathetic, I am just very worried its all going to fall through, it has been quiet challenging for us to find a house where our offer has been accepted without having to add 50k on to the asking price. I think I just wanted reassurance that it is normal these things are happening and that it will be ok🙁

I've voted YABU but I don't actually think you're being U, just naive perhaps about house buying!
When we bought our current house, we put our offer in in May, and in October I was 36 weeks pregnant and had to really really nag the EA to get the lady out of the house.

This process is excruciating and takes so long with little setbacks all the bloody time.

Ah. That's a completely different and sadly precarious situation than if you had exchanged. I don't think they are necessarily taking the piss, it is just unfortunate circumstances.

The mortgage offer expiry should have been picked up before unachievable dates were agreed and deposit paid. Although presumably your solicitor has this and will return if you request it.

You need to check how long the delay is likely to be. I read about one case where someone in the chain was getting part of their deposit from their grandmother, but she died so they then had to wait for probate instead - and that can take forever. If it's just a case of delaying while they organise a funeral, that's just one of those things, and you should still be in by the end of term.

What does pre-exchanged mean? What deposit have you paid? Never heard of pre exchanging before

What's pre-exchange? 🤔

Sounds like you're in a precarious situation OP - if you've not exchanged, they can just pull out without consequence.

Pre exchange is you pretty much do everything administrative and acknowledge but you’ve not formally exchanged, it’s often done when planning to exchange and complete on the same day.

You've either exchanged or not, if you're exchanged your deposit will be with the sellers solicitors, if you haven't exchanged then it will be sitting with your solicitor.

If you've exchanged then the sale won't fall through unless each link in the chain agrees to let someone break out.

If you haven't exchanged then you'll get your deposit back and will have to start again.

Im sorry I am a first time buyer so Im not really an expert on any of this, I just know I signed the contract, sent over my deposit to my solicitor and told the only thing left is completing

What’s pre-exchanged? It sounds as though you need to exchange ASAP. Up until that point either side can pull out.

That should mean you have exchanged. Once you have done that you have a completion date. The other side can ask if you will agree to subsequently change it, but you’re generally advised not to agree.

Speak to your solicitor today and have them explain to you where you actually are.

Sounds to me like you are ready to exchange, and then complete.

my only worry would be is if Your buyers buyer drops out, on the grounds that if they hold on a bit for any potential inheritance, that the house they were looking at may not be the one they now want

What does your vendor say?

I just got this message from my solicitor

"They have advised the case for the sellers new property purchase is not ready yet so they cant complete this sale until the purchase is ready too.
You can chase the seller but until her new purchase is ready the matter can’t progress.
Not sure why the sellers solicitor has only advised me of this today when they knew all along"

I have messaged the seller to get more info but I am just so worried, we have hung up on this house as everything was approved and ready, if this sale falls through we will have to search again which means paying probably 50k more. I am just so scared.

Hmmm, I know I'm cynical and suspicious by nature, but you've now had 4 different excuses for delays in exchange. I'd be smelling a rat, I'm afraid.

Is it possible to exchange without a firm completion date, eg completion to take place no later than X/XX/22, unless both parties agree otherwise? At least that way they'd be committed to selling to you, just in case they got a notion that they may be able to get a bit more for the house from someone else now.

Buying and selling property in England seems to be a really complicated, uncertain and messy process. It's long overdue for reform imo.

you need to ask if you have exchanged or not. If you have if they then pull out they owe you money, if not they can pull out penalty free

Just re-read your last post OP: is the seller buying a new build?

The only person I know who's bought a new-build was so royally pissed about by the builders that she ended up completing on her sale for fear of losing her buyer and being homeless for 3 months! I've heard similar stories from friends of friends, too.

If she's buying a new build, I wouldn't be so suspicious.

Put more pressure on your solicitor to go find out what's happening.
I have just bought and we had no chain as they were moving abroad, but they were faffing about towards the end and I got worried they were going to pull out. My solicitor advised me they wanted to move completion to a week after what we had asked for, and I agreed to it on the strict proviso that their contract was returned by close of business the next day. It was.
I've never heard of sending your deposit away and then waiting so long - I'm in NI so I'm not sure if our process differs, but here we send our deposit a week before completion to ensure it is cleared and ready to go for completion day.

Not to worry you bur we had this - the house in the chain above us had 'an issue with a tree' that turned into subsidence, underpinning, etc. We made an offer in February, thought we were moving before my baby was due in August and finally completed in.... February. Like you, we hung on because restarting would have been an extra 50k, but it was hell.

Can understand why previous purchase fell through. I'd be threatening to pull out by now

Your very unlikely to get any building work done over the summer holidays. Its too late now. As an ex teacher I’m confused as to why you can’t have work done during term time.