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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think referring to 'cock-ups' is not swearing at someone?

22 replies

youkiddingme · 15/06/2022 12:27

My DH range our EA - who have made error after error marketing our house. During the conversation he said, 'I consider you're in breach of contract due to all the cock-ups.'
The girl refused to continue dealing with him as she found that offensive and would report him for swearing at her. It's a normal colloquialism in these parts for mistakes. Is it something he needs to police out of his speech?

OP posts:

TriceratopsRocks · 15/06/2022 12:29

Totally agree - it's a normal phrase and definitely not swearing.

Merryoldgoat · 15/06/2022 12:29

It’s informal but not swearing. I’d avoid it at work.

TessBeth · 15/06/2022 12:29

No, it has nothing to do with the anatomical use of the word cock.

It isn’t offensive.

PAFMO · 15/06/2022 12:31

Maybe in the conversation he said something else. Maybe he was aggressive with the person on the other end of the phone.
Was he angry?

purpleme12 · 15/06/2022 12:38

Over reaction on her part
No I wouldn't call it swearing

Headshothelp · 15/06/2022 12:39

I would imagine it's a nice easy get out clause for her to not have to deal with the awkwardness of the conversation on her side. This way, she let's her manager do it instead.

Georgeskitchen · 15/06/2022 12:40

No I would never view it as swearing. Its a common saying. The girl who took the call perhaps needs to toughen up a little , I'm.sure she will hear worse than that , especially in the property business!!

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 15/06/2022 12:41

It's not offensive. But was he being overly aggro to her? Maybe she was looking for a way out of the conversation and leapt on that as her reason.

CloudPop · 15/06/2022 12:51

Headshothelp · 15/06/2022 12:39

I would imagine it's a nice easy get out clause for her to not have to deal with the awkwardness of the conversation on her side. This way, she let's her manager do it instead.

This

Ohmybod · 15/06/2022 12:53

EA doing what lots of EAs do well, taking the truth and twisting it. She was desperate to get of the call and your DH handed her some ammo.

Thack · 15/06/2022 12:55

Agree, it's a commonly used phrase that adults can use.
I would avoid saying it around my toddler though.

Lou98 · 15/06/2022 12:58

Definitely not swearing and a huge overreaction from her. Having said that, it's probably not a phrase I'd have used in a professional/business situation but I really don't think it's a big deal that he did

harriethoyle · 15/06/2022 13:01

Sounds to me like her excuse for refusing to deal with all their cock-ups!

R00K · 15/06/2022 13:02

Depends on the context. I don't find the words bitch or hysterical offensive. Many on here do.

I've refused to deal with customers who have become overly aggressive in tone, but haven't technically been using offensive language.

mycatisannoying · 15/06/2022 13:02

She's ridiculous!

orbitalcrisis · 15/06/2022 13:17

Customer service people will use a 'rude' word or a slightly raised voice to get out of dealing with you. You can point out that the origin is based on a navel hat that is worn slightly a-cock (like a beret) it has nothing to do with the slang use of the word of cock meaning penis, I would then refuse to work with such dirty minded, immature, uneducated, incompetents again. Dump them as your estate agents and demand compensation. Unless of course she finds hats or the armed forces offensive...

BrioNotBiro · 15/06/2022 13:18

It refers to the brewing industry I think. When barrels were empty they'd turn the tap ("cock' as in stopcock) up.

BrioNotBiro · 15/06/2022 13:22

Sorry @orbitalcrisis, crossed post I wasn't contradicting you. Looking ti up there are several suggested origins of the work, and not rude.

Staynow · 15/06/2022 13:28

Cock isn't a swear word when it's short for cockerel or as in this case when it means bend at an angle as in to cock a gun.

Original poster

youkiddingme · 15/06/2022 13:33

Thank everyone. We're a pair of old fogies and don't always keep up to date with what might have changed with language so that's good to know. He did sound a little curt - and frankly it wasn't surprising - but not unreasonably angry - I was listening.
I think the people who say she wanted to pass the buck were correct. We've got a meeting with someone higher up the chain tomorrow. Which is what we need so that's good.
Nice to be reassured he wasn't being offensive. Thanks again.

OP posts:

Beetle76 · 15/06/2022 13:45

Even if I don’t use a word like “cock up” I feel like I can no longer express my frustration with a service provider at a directly proportional level to their incompetence.

The inability to deal with direct criticism, without it being interpreted as abusive behaviour, is definitely becoming problematic.

jcyclops · 15/06/2022 14:29

As some have said, like many sayings it comes from military terminology that has been adopted into general use and it is not swearing. You can wear a cocked hat. On old pistols, flintlocks and muskets you would pull the firing mechanism (the cock) back and pull the trigger to fire. If you didn't pull it all the way back the gun would go off "half-cocked" and if it only ignited the powder in the pan and not the main charge you would have a "flash in the pan".

Robert Burns has a famous poem/song titled "Cock Up Your Beaver" which some think is more suitable as a rugby song, but "cock" means turn up, and "beaver" refers to a fur hat, as many hats at the time were made from beaver skins.

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