To dread every single night

[Anotherkaren]

I have exhausted everything to try and get into a good routine at night. My DD (4) has decided she cannot sleep without an adult next to her. My son (20 months) has been a nightmare sleeper since he was born, i BF and coslept until 16 months and then stopped breastfeeding, I then carried on co-sleeping as he just wouldn’t settle. The past 4 weeks he has been in his cot as neither of us are getting decent sleep when we are together. I have tried everything, singing laying with him, he was up until 11pm last night, wide awake! I sometimes have to take him for a drive as it seems to be the only thing that works.

please help I am so exhausted. DH works late so most nights it is me and I need to sort this out!

Tough love with the four year old. Painful but worth it.

I’m not going through quite the same thing but really struggling with my youngest. Just came to say that I don’t have a solution but I personally don’t feel comfortable with not responding to emotional needs ie just leaving her to cry. Yes she is fed and warm and safe but she is tiny and doesn’t understand why I’m not coming to her when she cries. She trusts me more than anyone in the world and I feel like she needs to know that I will always keep her safe and I will always be there. Tried controlled crying with my eldest and I found it heartbreaking tbh and went against all my natural instincts.

I know other people don’t feel the same way and that’s fine, people can do whatever works for them and each family is different. Just saying that you don’t HAVE to do controlled crying etc if you don’t want to. It’s not obligatory. It’s very common in some cultures but also unheard of in others. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.