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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wondering how people manage in the mornings with toddlers?

89 replies

Ablackcat · 15/06/2022 07:48

I’m sure there’s an easier way but at the moment I brush my teeth with a very small child hanging off my legs or trying to grab the toothbrush out of my mouth Hmm then shower with a small child banging on the door, dress with a very small child bringing me one toy after another while I say ‘Lovely!’ Dry my hair with a small child trying to grab my hairbrush then go downstairs (finally!)

Im not really looking for advice on how to change what I do in the morning (I mean I know some people shower in the evening etc) but is there an easier way I am missing or is this totally normal? Smile

OP posts:
Namechangehereandnow · 15/06/2022 09:58

You can definitely leave him in his cot with toys while you shower … that’s at least a start.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 15/06/2022 10:01

Lazy parenting, but youtube works for us

edgeware · 15/06/2022 10:03

We take turns but I realise not everyone is a two parent household.

WeLoveYouMissHanigan · 15/06/2022 10:06

I’d ditch the daily hair wash for a start - that would save so much time

they can shower at night, right? Still very little

seriouslywhyisthis · 15/06/2022 10:20

I think you should take your time and not feel bad about it. Take care of yourself. Put the iPad on and don't feel bad about it. You have the right to wash hour hair etc and take that time to yourself.

Cornettoninja · 15/06/2022 10:21

I know you’re not convinced about your hair but honestly this is how I managed my routine when dd was small.

Wash in the evening and just towel dry then use dry shampoo (for body - best applied before you go to sleep) and the hair dryer to style in the morning. You could gain back ten minutes back through not having to wash, condition, dry and then style. You can still have a wash in the shower in the morning as well but it would be much shorter.

I also made use of morning cartoons and moved some of my routine downstairs and put on my make up in the living room.

Dd was never a continuous early riser but on the days I did manage to wake up before her I would make use of that. I would always set my alarm to at least try and get up 45mins/30mins before her. My motivation was more of a peaceful coffee than my hair though!

InChocolateWeTrust · 15/06/2022 10:23

40 mins is a long time to be getting yourself ready!

If I shower/wash hair in the morning I do it from 6-6.30am before they are up. Teeth/washing face only takes 3 mins and we do together. I just dont bother with makeup.

reluctantbrit · 15/06/2022 10:27

I was showered and dressed by the time DD got up. If she really was awake before I was finished then she was safe in her cot. DH would normally be nearly out of the door by the time DD got up.

At weekends DH and I would take turns ensuring DD was safe and entertained when the other one was in the shower. We always got up together.

BalloonGirlFive · 15/06/2022 10:27

It takes me at least 45 mins to get ready but I was lucky and my (then) toddler was ok being left with toys and/or tv either in her cot or living room. I used to set up the camera on her and take the monitor into the bathroom with me (probably why it doesn’t work very well now 😂).

i know how you feel OP, I have to shower in the morning and I wash my hair everyday and do my make up too. I was interrupted a lot and even had to get out of the shower on occasion but 5 mins shower and no make up isn’t ever going to fly with me.

Even now now where she is 5, I can trust her but the first thing I do when I’m out of the shower is check on her.

LBOCS2 · 15/06/2022 10:29

I used to either let mine splash around in the shower while I was showering, or stuck them in my/their room with a tablet to watch something.

I will say that encouraging your children to play independently of you is really beneficial if you can - obviously within reason but mine have been relatively self sufficient in terms of entertainment for a while now, and it starts when they're younger. You don't have to leap to attention immediately if they're safe, unharmed, not hungry etc - learning to wait for a couple of minutes is not a bad lesson.

TreacheryPepper · 15/06/2022 10:30

On work days I'm up and out of the house before DS wakes up. On non-work days, I either shower in the evening, or I take him in the shower with me. He loves splashing about in the water and if I'm not shaving (I'll do that during an evening shower) a shower takes less than five minutes, and that includes washing and conditioning my hair. He plays with his toys whilst I dress and brush my teeth. If I'm going somewhere and want to wear make up, he'll watch some cbeebies

Cornettoninja · 15/06/2022 10:30

I think you should take your time and not feel bad about it

Is OP feeling bad about it? I got the impression she was looking for ways to make her mornings easier not that she was feeling bad or guilty about anything particular.

The bottom line is that time is what she needs and it’s about how to achieve that whether employing the use of cartoons or trimming down other routines to an acceptable (to her) level.

JenniferBarkley · 15/06/2022 10:37

I've only read your posts OP, but normal here anyway. We're usually both here so we can generally shower in peace but used to having company from 4yo or 2yo for the rest. The good mornings are the ones they don't wake til I'm dressed.

We leave the 2yo in her cot for as long as she's happy in the morning, luckily most days she'll play a little with her teddies.

TV in the morning is only on weekends here so that doesn't work.

Basically, a lot of telling off and getting very frazzled, it's not a relaxing experience.

cinq · 15/06/2022 10:40

@Ablackcat don’t make your morning routine 40 min long then? Wash your hair at night and have your clothes laid out for the morning and you’ve shaved quite a bit off your morning.

you do need to train kids that they can’t have your attention 💯% of the time when you have something to do.

SNAFU247 · 15/06/2022 10:42

Since having my oldest, I've always showered the night before - you honestly don't feel gross the next day. I also only wash my hair every 3 days or so - dry shampoo and a brush through in the morning only takes about 2 mins.

I do my make-up (10mins) with the baby playing with an old set of makeup brushes next to me - he does still get in the way a bit, but he's occupied. If I could leave him on my bed with his bottle of milk watching Teletubbies that would be helpful, but hes just turned 1 and has a habit of trying to kill himself by throwing himself off the bed.... so I had to give up that pipedream! No way would I be able to leave him in his highchair whilst I got ready either, he'd try and climb out.

I do tend to aim to wake up 30mins before the kids too. I can then wash my face, teeth etc alone!

Bloodyhelldog · 15/06/2022 10:45

I just try and enjoy it (not always successful) and let the chaos unfold.

I sit her down with food and colouring/stickers while I try and shower but she quite often just climbs in too. I just let that happen.

Turning the cold tap on and letting her arse about with the water fills a lot of time while I get my face on and dress and put my hair in a standard mum bun. Bathroom gets flooded once a week.

I give her something of mine while I get dressed and that often amuses her for quite a long time trying to put whatever it is on (knickers highest entertainment value 🤷🏼‍♀️)

It is just chaos though. Multiple toothpaste smeared everywhere incidents.

TheKeatingFive · 15/06/2022 10:50

I absolutely couldn't manage a shower in the morning. It has to be evening.

sjxoxo · 15/06/2022 10:52

This is why I’m reluctant to go back to work!! I don’t have the patience you have!!! I could definitely not handle this chaos and work stress at 7.30am!! Another vote for TV from me x

Wnikat · 15/06/2022 10:53

To be honest that all sounds perfectly nice, it’s when they attach themselves with a limpet whilst screaming so you can’t physically do any of those things that I struggle.

Mally100 · 15/06/2022 10:55

Icannoteven · 15/06/2022 08:02

Quick shower while they play in their room, then downstairs for breakfast. You dry your hair and put in makeup downstairs while they eat.

Same as what I did. Hair washing and all the extra was done the night before.How old is your toddler. I would start teaching them to wait a bit, that you're busy. I don't think I ever had ds hanging off my legs.

angstridden2 · 15/06/2022 10:57

Playpen and toys within hearing distance. Very quick bathroom visit!

Babyboomtastic · 15/06/2022 10:58

Get up earlier

Or

Lower your grooming stabdards in the morning.

Seriously, I don't think many people, especially with just one adult seeking manage to wash and dry their hair in the mornings. If your hair looks rubbish for a while, either change it to a less high maintenance style or just accept you won't look at your best for a while.
.
A lot of us arent sporting scruffy buns and wearing no make up because its what we like, but because of what we have time for.

Practically, I keep a spare toothbrush in the kitchen so i can do that during breakfast, but that and a quick brush of my hair are as far as my morning grooming routine goes.

JudgeJ · 15/06/2022 10:58

tocas · 15/06/2022 07:49

Playpen?

I really can't understand posts like this from the OP, surely a playpen is obvious. Are they out of fashion now? I found one marvelous, when I wanted half an hour in the afternoon to read, my toddler didn't like her play pen so I sat in it and she played where I could seen her!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 15/06/2022 11:04

What worked really well for my DD was to edit together all the videos I had of her. She was fascinated with herself (still is, but that's normal for a teenager Grin) and would just sit and stare at the video. You could put it onto a tablet and have your toddler watching it in the room with you.

Workawayxx · 15/06/2022 11:07

DD pootles around her cot if she wakes before 7 when I go in to her so I tend to get a shower in at 6.30 ish. Hate getting up earlier than needed though! Other things that work are toddler proofing the bathroom and dotting toys around, tying hair up and not washing it every day, putting relaxed clothes on and looking a bit of a mess till her lunch nap when I shower. it is all a bit tricky and I tend to accept looking less decent than I'd like. I hate the limpet on the legs move that they do, especially when she grabs the skin on the backs of my legs in her little pinchy fingers!!