To be nervous about seeing my GP for menopause symptoms

[Eeksteek]

I don’t suppose the last few years have been winners for anyone, but for me they have been real doozies. I’ve also had lots of niggling health problems which have actually been quite impactful, altogether, but I haven’t bothered the GP with any of them because they had enough to cope with, they all seemed so trivial and truthfully, I couldn’t get it together. I just put it down to the stress and tried to deal with the problems through fog, tiredness and apathy.

A couple of people have mentioned menopause when I asked for skincare advice and something else (i forget what 🙄) which sowed a seed and I got round to looking it up, and a lot of things clicked. Forgetful, apathetic, brain fog, poor sleep, Headaches, dizziness, nausea, night sweats, dry eyes, pins and needles, jumpy legs, cramps, can’t lose weight, lots of aches and pains, saggy boobs and hair loss. More recently anxiety and mood swings. Not like me at all. I used to be so enthusiastic and busy. I did try antidepressants, which have worked for me before during stressful times and I have on repeat but they didn’t help this time.

I don’t have periods (at all) because of PCOS and I have a coil anyway. And I’ve had no hot flushes. I’m ‘only’ 44 (I feel about a hundred) So the big markers are absent. I’m sure this is the problem, but my symptoms are a bit malingery and I’m worried I’ll get some old dinosaur of a GP who’s going to fob me off with more antidepressants or give me a lot a basic lifestyle advice and (except for diet, which isn’t ideal and I can’t change because of money) I’m already doing it. Go to bed as the same time, sleep in a cool, dark room, long walks in the fresh air; journaling, meditation, yoga, limited tv (no news) and media. Hobbies, seeing family and friends. More bloody walks….

Spam me with wonderful stories of understanding GPs swiftly prescribing eostogen which will magically restore my spark and get my life back on track in no time!

I went to the GP with some symptoms rather like that in my early 50s... had blood tests, turned out it was hypothyroidism which is not uncommon in women from middle age on. So, no oestrogen, but thyroxine which sorted me out.

Don't be fobbed off. It may be menopause, but it could be something else treatable.

It's not menopause, it's peri-menopause, and you are in no way "too young." You have loads of classic Peri symptoms. Arm yourself with information and the latest guidelines and insist upon HRT. Refuse to be dismissed.

Anyone who comes to see me with that attitude would be asked to leave.

My periods just quietly disappeared when I was around 42. No particular symptoms. But with hindsight I think the emotional ones may have been hidden by other very bad circumstances. Ask for a woman doctor, it usually means they will not dismiss menopausal symptoms- not guaranteed of course.

My male GP was brilliant. Unfortunately I moved and my female GP was awful.

Also HRT doesn’t work well for everyone- my dm had very bad reactions. But I think knowing what it is is helpful and listening to suggestions about supplements as well as HRT might be helpful. If you feel dismissed by one doctor, don’t be afraid to ask to see a different one.

I’ve experienced this before too. But generally I try to see a woman about women- specific health issues. Partly bc I feel a bit more comfortable talking to a woman about these things. My usual GP is male and very good generally.

My GP is the one who tends to bring it up when I'm there for other things. I don't think it will be difficult to get HRT prescribed should I cone to want it, but so far, not too many symptoms other than periods all over the place.

I take your point, but by that criteria I experienced menopause at 29. When one has no periods, it’s a much less useful distinction!

I’m open to other possibilities, but in the absence of any objective evidence, it seems to me that the only real course of action is try HRT and see if it helps. Menopause and response to HRT being different for everyone etc etc etc. I did go when it was first an issue about four years ago, and was prescribed anti-depressants and taken off the pill because of the headaches. In hindsight, it made things a lot worse. I don’t know why I didn’t go back, I’m just so passive and dull witted these days, I can’t seem to get any momentum behind any course of action. I didn’t even realise how pathetic I’ve been until I saw a friend I hadn’t seen for ages who thought I’d had some ghastly trauma and tactfully tried to help me get some counselling to get my life back. She was astounded at how much I’d changed. Said I was almost a completely different person. And she’s right. When I think what I was doing with my time then, and now, I’m not the same person. And most of the time, I feel powerless to change it and struggle to even try. It’s so hard to find the motivation to care, somehow. I have never been so apathetic. I’ve always been very driven - self employed, had too many hobbies and projects on the go. Now, I can’t be even bothered to cook properly and I don’t even want to buy yarn (unheard of!) let alone knit it. I’m not sad, just tired and everything seems such hard work and not worth bothering with.

Anyone who comes to see me with that attitude would be asked to leave.

Seriously? I'd have thought anyone who came with a list of symptoms like that would be listened to, and then you'd do tests etc to either confirm the self-diagnosis or to find what else might be going on (thyroid, anaemia, whatever).

I wouldn't advise the OP to go in insisting on HRT in the first instance, but surely she should expect to be treated seriously and the doctor to then provide the appropriate treatment(s) for her condition(s)?

@Sarahcoggles wow, are you a gp? Any patient who came to you having done a lot of research would be asked to leave? Wow.

@Eeksteek I go to a women's clinic. The GPs there are all women but not like Sarah Coggles, they will discuss things with you and listen to you and help you. You wouldn't be asked to leave for knowing what you wanted. Like, I had the coil pushed on me by a GP once and it seemed like I wasn't allowed to say no. Went to women's clinic, they did suggest a coil for heavy periods but I was allowed to say no and that was respected, then the discussion moved on to what else can I do.

Really?

A lot of GPs find patients come to them having done research, diagnosed themselves and requesting (demanding) a specific treatment.
Problem is Dr Google can be wrong, or certain things have to be ruled out first, and patients can be extremely attached to their self diagnosis.

I had many of the same symptoms, the physical ones I could cope with but the insomnia, anxiety, mood swings, brain fog and lack of confidence was new to me and horrendous. I first spoke to my GP when I was 45 and she fixated on the sleep issues so I accepted Trazadone for a trial but she did do bloods. I saw her again 2 weeks later and said I wanted HRT and she agreed. I didn't find it to be the miracle cure that MN tell you it is but I am so much better on it.

Yes, exactly. The doctor doesn't, however, say "you might be wrong, get out". They'd explain that it might be other things and then try to figure out what it was and what to do. Well, the doctors I've come across would.

Agree that it's probably menopause related but as someone who is both in menopause AND has an underactive thyroid, it's worth asking for bloods to be done for that too.

Many GPs are great, others are useless. I was totally fobbed off by a GP at my practice (a young male one) who sent me away with advice to try mindfulness and a prescription for folic acid. I'm 49. Few more months of total misery and spoke the other (also young, male) GP in the same practice and he started me on HRT right away and it's been great. The sleeplessness disappeared right away, along with the anxiety which was the worst.

My GP had never even heard of the NICE guidelines or the NHS's own guidance for HRT. She refused to re-authorise my prescription.

Given that I have had a* *ilateral salpingo-oophorectomy and total hysterectomy and my consultant gynae surgeon had written to recommend at least a 75mcg patch under shared care arrangements, too right we 'had a discussion' about it all.

She further showed no interest in my family history of osteoporosis or heart disease.

bilateral ^^

Sarahcoggles you wouldn't follow NICE guidelines about women under 45 and be happy that women have done their research? Women are second class citizens in the world of health and medicine, why shouldn't we take control? I was reading about Alzheimer's and again the effect off women's hormones were considered too complicated to research, both during our fertile years and menopause, so they just cut us out of the research, as they do with lots of conditions. That must cause gaps in a GP/doctors knowledge for lots of conditions and there's only a limit we can trust the advice. For you to just ask a woman to leave because she knows what she needs is shocking.

@Sarahcoggles, sorry didn't tag you properly.

The first time I spoke to my GP she actually asked me if I'd done any research so she was expecting me to have a basic understanding of the different options and associated risks with HRT.

Once I'd done that I had weight and BP done and we talked through options and she prescribed me straight away. Was a very positive experience!

I went on HRT when I was ratty all the time. Took it for a few years.Then I felt I needed to stop it - and hey presto - menopujase was over. No more periods, no hot flushes. Nothing. All over and done with. I was very fortunate.
OP - I'd suggest write it all down, print it out and either drop it into the surgery for the GP to read before your appointment, or give it to GP when you get there. That way you won't forget anything. I started doing that when I was being treated for depression, and I've carried on doing it for pretty well any appointment with my GP, including phoe calls. I'm lucky in that I've had the same GP look after me since 2004 and she knows me well by now, both inside and out.
Good luck.

My GP has a special interest in women's health and maybe there is one at your surgery with the same interest.

I am 10 years older than you and have very few if any menopausal symptoms but having discussed it with my GP, I decided to take HRT.

I have had some vague symptoms which could have been menopausal but weren't. I have talked to my GP numerous times and she has been extremely kind and understanding. Just go for it, OP. If you can try and speak to local friends to find out which GPS are sympathetic. The surgery should be able to tell you if any of them have a special interest.

Don't forget that HRT - the oestrogen part - is a preventative 'treatment' for osteoporosis which can manifest in one's 70s onwards (and sometimes bone health/density starts to decline even earlier). Both my mother and grandmother have/had this awful condition and I am very keen to avoid it.

There are other preventative indications, too. Heart health, for example. So family health and one's individual health do matter.

My GP refused to discuss it. Luckily as of this week I have a different 'named GP'.

I have all those things but I'm 34 with periods like clockwork, which is mildly alarming.