AIBU to expect clearer communication from ds’s club?

[IAmSantaOhYesIAm]

Ds attends a group once a week, invites are sent out online via the parents portal each week for the following weeks group and for weekend events. Parents log on and either accept or decline the event/weekly session.

this group also has a WhatsApp group that the kids are in with the adults who run the group.

this weekend there’s an event that I’ve accepted and online it shows ds as attending. ds WhatsApp messaged and asked for the start time and was told it’s not been decided yet but he’s not down to attend. There was a WhatsApp message asking them to confirm they are definitely attending and ds thought that was for those that hadn’t registered online so didn’t think anything of it.

AIBU to expect the leaders of this group to use just one means of inviting the kids to events and not to use WhatsApp for this purpose.? It’s confusing and now means ds cannot attend at the weekend as it’s a limited number team event and the teams been arranged.

ds is 15 if that’s relevant.

Well, the leaders did ask the kids to confirm that they were attending, but he ignored the message, so perhaps they removed him from the event on the portal. It’s a shame for your DS, but he’ll know in future to confirm when asked.

I know (from bitter experience!) that kids who are signed up often change their mind, but don’t think to tell us - I’ve stood outside events waiting for kids to turn up, because they’ve been signed up on the parent portal, had to phone them to see where they were, only to be told they’re not coming. This has meant we’ve all had to hang around waiting, and making us late. Very frustrating, especially as we’re giving up our time for free, but parents couldn’t be bothered to take a minute to let us know.

I think that is relevant that he is 15. I think this is something he should be managing himself. I think he should be saying to the leaders that it’s confusing with two methods of communication.
He will have lost out this week and he will want to make sure this is sorted for the future.
Perhaps let him access the parent portal to manage the sign up too.
I think this is a perfect age for you to let him take care of this. Unless, there are any SN issues of course.

I agree with @Dahlly

It's not ideal, but lesson learnt, and this is a great chance to encourage him to think about how it might have gone better, and what he can do to suggest this in the group.

@Dahlly No SN

interesting perspectives. I hadn’t thought that allowing him access to the parent portal would be an option, maybe I’ll explore this.

I’ve emailed the leader and had an apology for the confusion.

@Budgiegirlbob i can imagine how frustrating it is when kids don’t turn up to events they’ve said they’ll attend however we are a committed family to this group and have never done this, in fact we usually attend most events so for ds not to be at this one at the weekend is unusual.

i can imagine how frustrating it is when kids don’t turn up to events they’ve said they’ll attend however we are a committed family to this group and have never done this, in fact we usually attend most events so for ds not to be at this one at the weekend is unusual

I’m sure you are, and i know that the leaders will appreciate this. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with leaders double checking by asking for confirmation via WhatsApp , especially as you’ve said in this case numbers are limited and attendees are put in to teams.

As I said, it is a shame that your son has missed out on this occasion, but he’ll know for next time that he does need to confirm if asked to. I don’t really think the leaders have done anything wrong by asking for confirmation, although it’s good of them to apologise for the confusion.

That’s quite harsh - you know that the people who run these sort of things are generally volunteers who have jobs, families of their own, homes to run etc on top of all the work they do putting on clubs/activities for your child. And yet you quietly seethe, because they don’t run things the way you think they should??!! And you don’t say anything, just because you don’t think it’s worth the bother?

It is a volunteer led group and I do really appreciate how much work goes in to organising weekly meetings and weekend activities.
On this occasion I felt I needed to email because I don’t want others to miss out in future because of this issue. apparently I wasn’t the only parent who had the same problem.
lessons learnt all round and thank you all for your replies, interesting points.