To purposely send a message ‘accidentally’?

[daisydoo4]

how obvious that is? Purposely sending a message as an ‘accidental one’ to strike up conversation? Or a meme instead of an actual text… you know like when you forward a funny meme to your friend without any actual written message?

long story short… I’d like to strike up s conversation with a guy. We texted before about some work stuff, but strictly work like we are not mates. I feel like in a weird way we connected and I’d like to pick up the conversation with him. Not necessarily a romantic way (there is a little spark) but maybe even just as mates?

Can you message about the work thing again? I have no idea what it was about...but something like..."How did the report/meeting go in the end? Hope you're well?"

Then ball is in his court

Don't you see him at work then? It would be far easier to strike up a conversation there than to send some 'accidental' message that makes him think you're a fruit loop.

goodnessnme I am now a 100% chicken out of doing it… tbh I don’t think I would have done it anyway, maybe after a few drink on the weekend which is probably even worse!!!

naw, unfortunately I don’t actually work with him and it’s a bit of a miss when we see each other .

gitted tho… not sure how to go from here. I’m not brave enough to just message him. As I said in my OP, we had a little spark but I don’t even know what I want from him… I kinda just want to get to know him…

It's incredibly obvious!!! Please don't do this.

I used to do this in my teens but I think with modern phones accidentally sending messages to the wrong person isn’t very easily done. It used to be to send a text you would scroll through your contacts to find them and it was easy enough to press the wrong person but now to text you open the message app and all the people you regularly text are at the top, someone you’ve not messaged in a long time wouldn’t be there. Nowadays all of your text conversation is there as well so it’s pretty obvious when you’ve opened the wrong message thread.

I guess you could pretend you were texting a new-to-you person with the same name but would have to send something pretty boring (Eg: Hi Steve, it’s Sarah who you met at Jane’s party last week. You offered to send me recommendations of a couple of good plumbers, if you’re able to send them to me that would be great.’ But a text like that would be pretty boring, not sure whether it would do the job in terms of striking up something interesting with your colleague!

It’s totally obvious. But aren’t most chat-up lines? The point is to open a conversation. Which it will. Or won’t. Probably easier just to talk to him. Which won’t have an electronic record! ;-)

It'd be very obvious. He'll either find it flattering or pathetic - it's your gamble.

Do you have anything in common that you could strike up a conversation about that you can think.of? For example if you both liked a particular tv show.and there had been a new series text to ask if he has seen it and what does he think?

Or if he has been somewhere interesting and you are looking for recommendations on where might he good to go?

I wouldn’t sent an accidental message on purpose but I would send an amusing meme or comment about work that was kind of work related but gave you a chance to strike up another conversation.

“oh I saw this and thought about that time at work”
“I was talking to X today and they mentioned you, how have you been getting on?” Etc etc

My ex "accidentally" called me after not being together for well over a year and said it was a mistake and then proceeded to ask how I was. Swiftly advised I was pregnant and happy and that was the end or that ... awkward. Just text them normally x

Glad you have ruled this out!

Message him and just ask how work is going and how things are. If he doesn't respond then move on. Be brave

30 seconds of bravery, that’s all it takes. Write out a text ‘hey, I know it’s been a while (if it has) but I was just thinking about you and wondered how your getting on, did that work thing happen/work out?

simple and opens up dialogue. I’d eh doesn’t reply no harm done.

You’re

Have you considered making up a more believable reason to message him? "Hey, I thought I saw you today in Tesco, but you didn't wave back - it's been driving me nuts, did I make a fool of myself waving at a stranger?" or "Have you heard whether or not work are doing a summer BBQ this year? It'd be nice to get everyone together like we used to pre-Covid". You know, something believable for your circumstances that's a reason to message him but shows you also want to talk to him.

I wouldn’t send an accidental message as he could easily say “okay no worries” for example and it is quite obvious in a cringey way. If you’ve worked with him how long has it been since you last spoke? Could you ask him how something is going that’s work related ? Say you saw something and it reminded you of your convo blah blah. Or just genuinely check in and ask him for a drink / catch up? I hope it goes well!

I wish you could react to posts on here like Facebook 😂

Just message saying. “Hey how’s it going” then ask him out for a drink sometime if the conversation kicks off. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that.

My ex would do this when he was ready to talk to me after stonewalling...he was over 40. Very childish. I always told him to put on his big boy pants and talk/apologize like an adult but he could never do it.

Since you've already text him before about work related stuff then just text him and ask him if he'd like to meet up for a coffee/drink one day. The worst he can say is no. Or find a meme that relates to work or something and let that be an icebreaker. But I'm not sure I would do that with a colleague, especially if you have to see him. lol

It is SO obvious when people do this and really cringey so I'm glad you've ruled it out.

You have some good suggestions above for ideas for a message to try to start a conversation. I did similar (although really boring) and messaged someone for a recommendation along the lines of "Hi Dave, how is it going? You mentioned you'd been looking into getting a garden office built last time I saw you....did you manage to get it done in the end? I've been thinking about getting some quotes so a recommendation would be good if you know someone! Thanks and hope you're well, ThreeRingCircus."

I didn't want a garden office but you get the picture, it did actually work and the conversation went from there. You could do similar with something work related, or TV/film. Be brave!

So t do an accidental message. They are so obvious and I always ignore them. I normally get “hey Elspeth!” Which I ignore and then usually a short time later “sorry! Wrong Elspeth!” Which I also ignore.

Be brave and text him properly!

This x

I think asking him out is a bit forward if you don't know anything about him - he could be gay, married, deeply uninterested and could be awkward if you have to meet again for work.

I like the idea upthread - messaging him saying you thought you saw him out but he didn't wave back.

Or send a meme/joke that he would get via work with a 'saw this and thought of you'. Used to be a post office ad ..... Decades ago.

Good luck

Just say hello and ask how he is, whats the worst that could happen?