To leave 13 year olds in a cinema

[Sarahcoggles]

DS and a friend are going to the cinema. Film will end about 9pm.
Both sensible and keen to not be accompanied by a parent!
It's a cinema in an "out of town" shopping centre.
I'm a single parent so I'll be taking them on my own.
Both kids have phones.

Would you:-

1. insist on going into the film with them.
2. let them go in on their own but stay in the area (shops will be closing during the film so would end up sitting in the car)
3. leave them in there and go home, a 20 minute drive away

I agree. 20 mins is really not that long to drive back home for a 3hr movie.

The outcries or 'I can't believe you are asking!'
'They are 13 not 3!' Are rude and unnecessary- it's always okay to ask, check with others and measure one's comfort levels. God knows if people go round shouting in peoples faces like they write, but for FFS have an pinch of compassion.

OP, first and foremost it's about what you feel comfortable doing. Personally, I'd do 2 and sit outside. I wouldn't be comfortable leaving them yet. However, I would probably say if they were sensible and all went well, yes to leaving them next time.

My sibling died because my mum was pressured to allow them to do something by other parents. Obviously we have to live with that choice forever. Own time, own choice OP x

I'd probably go and watch something else having driven all the way there.

My DC's high school does a reward day each July - the kids pick whether to get a coach to a theme park, or to an indoor shopping centre with cinema, bowling, laser quest etc. The kids are 11-15 and once arrived are trusted to get on with their chosen activity by themselves while staff are stationed at various coffee shops and in mobile phone contact for emergencies.

I’m sorry to hear about your sibling but what do you want people to take from that? Of course people are going to say it’s fine for a 13 year old to attend a cinema (after being driven there and collected!) without their mum sitting next to them the whole time. It’s silly to say otherwise. If op can so easily be pressured into allowing her child to do something that will place her child in mortal danger (which watching Jurassic park won’t do) then she shouldn’t ask other people’s opinions. But allowing your kids to do relatively safe activities as they get older is necessary.

Were I live it would depend on how street smart they were. But I live in an area were kids of the same age would try to get them to wait outside and rob them of their phones. I think posters forget that some of us live in areas were tweens and teens get stabbed/robbed randomly. I would have left mine at that age, but I know kids who couldn't have been left because they are easily led.

Of course two sensible 13 year olds can sit in a cinema unaccompanied! What do you think is going to happen?

Two or three, they are definitely old enough at thirteen, especially as they have phones and sensible children. I'm probably an overly cautious parent and anxious generally but I think at thirteen they'll be fine.

I went to the cinema for the first time with a friend unaccompanied when I was 11. I think my friend had a phone at the time but I didn't - it was twenty years ago. Her mum dropped us off and went to do some shopping (cinema was 30-40 minutes drive) at the shopping centre next door and we met her afterwards.

2 but it wouldn’t be because i wouldn’t leave them it would be to avoid driving home for an hr or so then back out again. I’d probably just get a coffee, a bar of chocolate& take a book but then i spend a lot of time sitting in the car in between kids clubs & pick ups so that doesn’t really bother me. The other thing with sitting in the car means if there was any bother in the cinema (sadly sometimes idiots ruin even the earlier showings for people) you’re handy if they called. I would probably tell them i was going home & coming back even if i wasn’t but i wouldn’t even think about going in with them.

I recently took my dd12 and her friends to the cinema to see a 12 rated film. I left them and went shopping, I didn’t realise they would need Id to see it without adult so had a phone call from dd and had to to go back and vouch for them. Even then the member of staff was reluctant to let them go in alone as they hadn’t had ID.

At 13 we were dropped at the door, stood in line, bought our own tickets, stood in line to by snacks, went in and took our seats, and were picked up at the end of the movie. I seem to remember at 11 being in charge my my younger sibling at the movies too. We didn't even have mobile phones. They'll be fine.

1. And we all did that in yr6