To be hurt by her response?

[Auntieobem]

We live a 6 hour drive and 3 hour ferry journey from my mum (dog has to come, think she looks forward to seeing her more than us). I used to visit twice a year. Mum never visits us - last time was 7 years ago. Last visit (Oct last year) was stressful, mixture of unexpected hospital stays, me having to go look after family member for a couple of days, culminating in a fall out where I said wasn't coming back. Mum apologised and I've just arranged for us to visit for a few days in the summer.

Her response? Not good dates, work is busy at that time.

She works part time, should have retired years ago due to ill health and really isn't needed in work (extended family business).

The dates are the only ones which work for us, dp and I both struggle to get time off together.

I feel like cancelling.

Do you chat regularly on the phone etc?
It does sound like she is having a hard time with anxiety, and if she's enjoying her job that's a good thing as it sounds like she could be very insular if she wasn't working.

does she have any friends?

I think if you said something like "don't worry about the food mum, we can get a shop on the way down and we don't care about the house, we just want to see you" then you'll be taking some pressure off her, but it sounds like she might still have some excuses which must be hurtful.

Thanks again all. We regularly talk via what's app video, 2 or 3 times a week. I always offer to do a shop for us and bring things with us- that just offends her and she thinks we're saying she can't look after us. Same with offering to stay elsewhere.