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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tell husband I'm pregnant

64 replies

Thisismyfirstrodeo · 13/06/2022 19:46

This is lighthearted, but is it unreasonable to keep a positive pregnancy test result a secret from my husband until Sunday for Father's Day? I had a sweet vision of bringing my son in wearing a big brother t-shirt in the morning. Husband currently travelling for work, but will be back tomorrow and might ask if I've taken a test/got my period, so could involve lying 😶

Has anyone else managed to keep it a secret for a while? It feels wrong but I think he'd enjoy the surprise!

Also I don't have any other ideas for a Father's Day gift.

OP posts:
Lazydaisydaydream · 13/06/2022 21:00

I waited so that I could tell my husband at Christmas and it was very special and a lovely moment for both of us. Was an unplanned pregnancy though so didn’t have the risk of him asking me if I’d done a test etc!

startfresh · 13/06/2022 21:02

Why not "ergh I hate period pains, so sick of them" whilst holding stomach. No lie.
Alternatively, if you're feeling crappy with pregnancy "I've got bad cramps, going to have an early night"

There's ways to insinuate periods without lying. And if he asks if AF appeared you can bat it off with a disappointed look and a sorry. Still no lie.

FourOclock · 13/06/2022 21:04

I don't know how people have the willpower to keep it a secret but it sounds a lovely idea! I'd have had no chance this time round with my DH, he'd guessed days before my period was due because of how I was acting and had pretty much decided I was pregnant so I just sent him a text of a positive test as confirmation with a side note asking him to buy more milk on his way home 😂

TempNameChangexx · 13/06/2022 21:05

I wouldn't be able to lie, so maybe give him an early Father's Day card as soon as he gets back and stick the positive pregnancy test inside the card? (so he sees it as he opens the card)

SailingNotSurfing · 13/06/2022 21:05

I love this idea, what a fabulous Father's Day gift!

PrinnyPree · 13/06/2022 21:06

My husband wouldn't care about being "lied" to for the sake of keeping it a surprise for a few days after and would love it. I've "lied" so as not to spoil a surprise before (made an elaborate deception before whisking my husband off abroad where I proposed). Its not like you're keeping it secret until the 20 week scan or for nefarious reasons, its literally so he has a super memorable fathers day. I can't believe the people who think this is out of order. 😅

Mally100 · 13/06/2022 21:07

What an extra special gift! Don't spoil it if you can hold it in, I'm sure it will be his most memorable.

mongoosebaby · 13/06/2022 21:08

I did this, meant I had to stay quiet for about 10 days! Luckily he didn't ask, I would have struggled to lie 🤣 it was a lovely father's day thing though!

Greyarea12 · 13/06/2022 21:11

I think it would be a lovely suprise and i think he would completely understand

BeaLola · 13/06/2022 21:12

It would be a "fib" and if you can keep it secret til Sunday go for it - sounds a lovely idea

Congrats x

Greyarea12 · 13/06/2022 21:12

Oops never finished there.. I think he would completely understand you lying (if you need to) and I think he will really like that you made his father's day so special.

PurpleButterflyWings · 13/06/2022 21:14

Bit of a misleading click-baity title. Hmm

Congratulations anyway, but the title is VERY misleading. It suggests that you are not going to tell him you're pregnant at all. Why not put 'AIBU to not tell husband I'm pregnant until fathers day?' Confused

DashboardConfessional · 13/06/2022 21:14

This was with our first (only) but it's much sweeter than what I did, which was run down the stairs yelling "I think this test is faulty" before shoving it in his hand, pee-end first.

Lululemonade38 · 13/06/2022 21:16

I waited nearly 2 weeks for DH's birthday. It made it extra special for him 😊

GU24Mum · 13/06/2022 21:16

I waited til after I was 8 weeks and had had my initial midwife booking in visit with one of mine!

Mamai90 · 13/06/2022 21:17

JuneJubilee · 13/06/2022 20:47

What do you mean?? He had THE best gift ever!!!!

Show quote history

I was just about to write the same thing!

Herejustforthisone · 13/06/2022 21:28

DimplesToadfoot · 13/06/2022 20:20

Yes to the big brother TShirt

If he asks if you've taken a test, sigh loudly, roll your eyes and say huffily "yes I've taken a test"

Then say nothing else, he might think the test was negative and won't want to push it and you've told no lie lol

Congratulations!

That’s a good idea. That won’t involve actually lying.

That said, I would happily lie to my husband and am sort of impressed at someone finding it hard! 🤷🏼‍♀️

yzed · 13/06/2022 21:37

Maybe if he asks you could say, "I was thinking of testing on Sunday" which involves only the lie of omission and not a direct lie.

It really depends on what you'd both consider to be a lie. How would you feel if it was the man who got the answer and he kept it back from you?

Congratulations. Enjoy your gifts (babies).

yzed · 13/06/2022 21:40

Maybe if he asks you could say, "I was thinking of testing on Sunday" which involves only the lie of omission and not a direct lie.

It really depends on what you'd both consider to be a lie. How would you feel if it was the man who got the answer and he kept it back from you?

Congratulations. Enjoy your gifts (babies).

Beseen22 · 13/06/2022 21:57

I tried to hide it from DH. He was abroad and we were seeing him like 3 weeks later. I literally lasted about 3 days. He also said he could tell because I was being creepy on zoom and kept staring at him.

erinaceus · 13/06/2022 21:59

If he asks, look mysterious and say that this might be a very special Father's Day or something like that -- I wouldn't lie outright, it's his kid too.

Other than that I think that sounds really sweet if you can keep the news to yourself until then.

sammyjoanne · 13/06/2022 22:00

Its only till sunday, its not like your keeping it a secret for weeks. I think its a sweet idea

saleorbouy · 13/06/2022 22:09

Sounds like the best father's day present....do it!

Skye99 · 13/06/2022 22:09

I agree with others, I’d do it if I could without lying but I wouldn’t lie to him.

DirtyteaCup · 13/06/2022 22:10

My period used to start at 11 am on a Sunday (I know!)
We were on holiday so by 12 noon I had decided I was pregnant. I dint say anything for the next 10 days we were way by which time I was pretty certain.
Got back to the Uk and did a pregnancy test (in 1995 they cost £14 each so about £50 now) You only did 1!

It was Thursday and father day was the Sunday and I waited and did a card from the bump.

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