AIBU to need new friends in my 30's?

[TeaandaBook]

Hello everyone - I'm looking for some advice. I'm in my mid 30's now, and really feel lonely. I feel like a lot of my friends that I had are becoming people I don't want to hang out with. I feel like I'm being horrid saying that and I don't mean to be.

For example one of them always has a drama and that's all she wants to talk about. One makes poor life choices I can't deal with. One for them I just have nothing in common with,

We've all got DC's, mostly married so I'd think we'd have more in common but we seem to be getting further apart.

As I'm the common theme here it must be me? AIBU?

People change as they grow and age. Sounds like you’ve outgrown these friendships.

Honestly there’s nothing wrong with that. if you want to work on these friendships, could you for example address the drama issue with that friend, tell her you don’t want to hear about it? Unless of course that would create more drama 😉 might be worth giving it a try instead of throwing the friendship away altogether.

Or, alternatively - it’s time for some new friends 😁

It's totally normal for friendships to run their course and no, you're not at fault in any way. It's perfectly normal to drift apart from people or just kind of go off them.

Also, sometimes when people repeat the same pattern of negative behaviour over and over again, it's quite stressful for other people to deal with. For example, it's easy to be sympathetic and supportive to a friend when (for example) they've made a bad life choice but it's not so easy when it's the tenth time they've made the same bad life choice.

You’re not alone. I’m in my mid-30s too OP and find myself with a few acquaintances but no one I would call a friend really.

I think it’s normal, I’ve seen a number of similar threads on this recently. I wonder how much the pandemic had an impact. I certainly drifted a lot further away from people in that time that I was previously close to, or thought I was. It’s tough because making new friends in your 30s is not easy.

Thanks all. It’s really sad. It can’t be everyone else though so must be me!

you are definately not alone and I actually just had a conversation this morning with someone on the beach about this

i think it is far easier to keep these relationships going but you know deep
down they are not serving you - About a year or so ago i had the same realisation and I have not looked back
it was tough at the start but the mental weight of how stressful I found it to even meet up with them was tiresome
I dont think we are alone either