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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much I should pay towards this?

57 replies

Undecidedandtorn · 12/06/2022 21:18

I split up with my ex a year ago but we have been sharing accommodation (2 places swapping every week with the kids staying in the same house). The hot water in the main house broke just before Christmas.

Due to having an old set up (no central heating) it took a while to find someone to install a new set up which finally happened about 4 weeks ago. I'm moved into my new place on Friday so now we won't share accommodation and the kids will spend 50% of thier time at each of the places.

The water heating system cost £1500 and I'm really broke at the moment. My ex paid it out of our joint account which we both were putting 2/3 of our salary into (so me 60% him 40% of the total monthly amount that went into the joint account). I don't feel I should pay anything and he should refund me my share , he thinks I should leave as is.

What would a fair amount be?

OP posts:
VioletPickles · 12/06/2022 21:20

Inclined to say just go 50/50 for the sake of coparenting relations.

Spacerader · 12/06/2022 21:24

Based off the limited information I'd say yes you pay half.

Viviennemary · 12/06/2022 21:26

I agree you should pay half.

Discovereads · 12/06/2022 21:27

You should both be paying the same proportion from your wages towards the heating system repair of £1500 as you’re still both equally responsible.

AllFreeOwls · 12/06/2022 21:28

If you are staying there 50/50 then you should be paying half.

Why do you think he should be paying for all of it?

Yodaisawally · 12/06/2022 21:38

50/50

roses2 · 12/06/2022 22:02

Who owns the house?

Hankunamatata · 12/06/2022 22:21

50:50

MolkosTeenageAngst · 12/06/2022 22:37

It was a joint expense that was paid out of the joint account, I don’t see why anybody would need to be refunded or need to pay anything more? The fact you’re moving out a month after it has been fixed isn’t really relevant, it was both broken and fixed at points where you were living there and also surely it is in the best interests of your joint children to have it fixed in a house they will be living in 50% of the time?

Have you now closed the joint account though. It seems an odd thing to have continued with for a year once separated, especially for you to be continuing to pay 60%. Once you split you should have been paying 50/50 as money was no longer family money, but if you were happy to continue with the setup from when you were together really it’s a bit late to change your mind now.

TabithaTittlemouse · 12/06/2022 23:00

Why don’t you think that you should pay?

Adamantspants · 12/06/2022 23:06

You pay half.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/06/2022 00:08

It broke and was fixed during the time you were equally responsible for house, so I think you should pay.

Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 13/06/2022 08:39

Well that is unambiguous! My feeling was the new water system will serve the house for what - 20 years - and I won't be getting any benefit.

I appreciate that my kids will be there 50 % of the time but if anything breaks in my new place now I've moved (and we are no longer paying into a joint account) I'm liable for 100% of the cost which is how it should be.

OP posts:
Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 13/06/2022 08:41

Not sure if this is realvent but I came off the deeds before it was fixed as someone asked who owns the house.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 13/06/2022 08:43

Of course you need to pay half.

DingDongDenny · 13/06/2022 08:45

I agree with you OP, you aren't going to be living there. Is your ex going to pay half if something breaks in your house? No way should you be paying 60% towards his new heating system. I might pay a small contribution because of wear and tear when I was there, but that's all

I hope you have closed the joint account, or stopped paying into it

NoSquirrels · 13/06/2022 08:49

I think this is a long-game issue but not in the way you think.

You think you shouldn’t pay as it’s now his house and that repair will serve him in the long term.

I think you should pay because it was due to be fixed while you lived there because it was old, then broke and couldn’t get repairs sorted, you earn more so presumably it’ll have less effect on you now to pay 50% and in the future you haven’t been petty about this (long term co-parenting).

It’s not going to be a recurring expense or set a precedent because now you’re both 100% responsible for your separate living costs.

cochineal7 · 13/06/2022 08:51

It’s just bad luck really for you. You do need to pay your share. If the new inhabitant was an unrelated buyer you would also have had to pay. At least in this case your children still benefit.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 13/06/2022 09:08

I think (hope) people hadn’t understood you had already moved out and would be living in your own place going forward.

On that basis you shouldn’t have to pay, but I think there is little chance of getting it back, just make sure it’s brought into the account when splitting, and close the joint account ( or at least don’t be putting in 60% of your salary!)

AdaColeman · 13/06/2022 09:10

I don't see that you are obliged to pay this. The cost was taken out of the joint account which you were contributing to, so in effect you've paid 60% of his new heating system.
He should refund you that money. Of course he is reluctant to, he's out to get the best deal for himself.

Ask yourself (and ask him) if he will be contributing to repairs in your house now, where the children will be spending half their time? No, he won't be contributing, that isn't how it works!

You've been put in this position because you didn't separate you finances immediately and clearly, and now he's trying to take advantage of those financial muddy waters to benefit himself.

Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 13/06/2022 09:25

It's so useful to some other view points- I was thinking I was going crazy. Maybe there is a compromise to be made here - I need to pay him a lump sum as part of our financial settlement so I was just going to suggest I pay him a little less to account for it.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 13/06/2022 09:25

Think of it like this:

House was up for sale and boiler broke after you had agreed to sell for set price but before exchange of contracts. You would still have paid even though you wouldn't be living there anymore. Its not about future usage, its about the present time.

Next one. Your kids are living in that house. You were all living there at that time (even if not at same time). Of course you should pay.

The minimum is 50/50 but since it came out of a joint account already just suck it up. Your fault for not separating finances properly. Consider it a lesson learned.

Final one. If ex couldn't afford the repair on their own, would you really leave your kids without hot water etc bc you won't be there?

Electriq · 13/06/2022 09:39

50/50
You lived there 50% of the time when it happened, and your kids will live there 50% of the time.

Hankunamatata · 13/06/2022 09:47

But the boiler broke in December. If it had been repaired then you wouldn't be complaining about the cost!

MissSmiley · 13/06/2022 10:18

When did you come off the deeds?
Before you pay half
After he pays, it's his house now

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