AIBU to frown upon receiving 'thoughts and prayers'

[Fruitarian123]

So I have noticed this a lot with some of my friends.

I was telling a DF this morning as we were finishing our Costas about a matter dear to my heart. All she said was, in a rather dismissive and whimsical manner, was 'thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers'.

What exactly are these 'thoughts and prayers'?

I have never heard that said to anyone unless it was a serious situation is death.

In which case, as a staunch atheist, I accept that they are meaning well.

Your friends whimsical approach suggests that she is fed up of hearing about your life.

Sometimes people know there's nothing practical they can do to a help a situation so it's a way of saying they're thinking about you and hoping for the best possible outcome.

@Kerrrmieee you might have a point actually. It could well be sarcasm if you're quite dramatic

Yeah thoughts n prayers blah blah blah, bored now

Maybe she thinks you are a troll, just making things up for attention? Maybe she doesn't like Costa?

Who knows.

Ask her.

I've only ever seen it online along with 'handhold'.

I too would've thought she was being sarcastic the way you've explained it.

Isn't it the updated version of telling someone you'll pay for them or that you will keep them in your prayers? Or the more irritating "bless"? For many it's a hangover from times past, for some it's still how the world works as they see it.

People will say Thoughts n Prayers all over social media in the written form, but I have never heard anybody say it out loud.

I think its pretty naff, tbh, and typical of the ‘wiv da angles’ ilk of social media performative emoting.

You can just as easily say that you’re thinking of the person concerned and there if they need to talk without bringing religion into it.

I would have thought it was sarcastic!

Like Ricky Gervais said, "I feel like a cunt now because all I sent was money"

It's very much shorthand for 'I don't care enough to process an actual response to what you're saying'. Much like using 'hun' it's not something you say to people you actually like.

I don't use it at all. Proper PA

Yabu for drinking Costa coffee though. Terrible stuff. 😉

V odd to say 'thoughts and prayers' when you're face to face with someone, because presumably your brain is obviously engaged with their issue(s), as you've just been discussing it/them?

But I guess it might have been her slightly confused way of saying "I'll say a prayer for you"?

Is she a religious person?

Depends, I’m believe in god and I would say a prayer and would honestly mean those words to a friend. Wether you believe or not is ok, I would be giving good vibes. So depends on sincerity imo

I'm with this... feel it's just copied & said without any real meaning. For example on comments on DM. Three thousand comments are the family going to read them & care that Lissy from Leicester said thoughts & prayers, fly high with the angles 😣

I've never know anyone to say that out loud! It's a bit of an online hun favourite. If someone who I know is religious is having troubles I tell them I'll pray for them though.

You would say to a friend “thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers” rather than “I’ll say a prayer for you”?

I think your friend may have been being sarcastic OP. I’ve seen it written plenty on social media, more recently in a taking the piss/first world problems kind of way. I’ve never know anyone to say it in real life to someone’s face.

One of my friends says this, it’s always sarcastic. Surely no one would say it as a full sentence and their only response to something serious.

I say a little prayer for you.

Oh Aretha, I'd take you somewhere better than Costa - anything for a cuppa with you.

This woman meant it when she sent her prayers and thoughts.

Did your friend actually whimsically say "yeah thoughts n prayers, thoughts n prayers"?

Did her DH get 10 chickens?

OP has started about 5 threads in the last half hour. All thoroughly hilarious.

You would say to a friend “thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers” rather than “I’ll say a prayer for you”?

I think your friend may have been being sarcastic OP. I’ve seen it written plenty on social media, more recently in a taking the piss/first world problems kind of way. I’ve never know anyone to say it in real life to someone’s face.

i may be naïve but if I said it in whatever context I’d mean it. I don’t disagree with the sarcasm aspect from some people, each to their own. But then she said it was a friend, and my friends wouldn’t be disrespectful. So boils down to, is your friend usually a twat I suppose?

I've only seen it in announcements/ statements, e.g., "Our thoughts and prayers are with those who have suffered from this tragedy," generally said by a politician or similar. It's not my favourite phrase, but I suppose there's worse. I'd be a bit surprised if someone actually used it in normal conversation though.

It's come to be viewed as a negative term through politicians using it in situations where they could actually do something, such as in the US re gun violence and school shootings.

If a religious person messaged it to me about a real problem I'd take it sincerely.

In this situation, I'd take it to mean "you've prattled on for far too long and I'm out of patience".