If you have rules in your house, who's job is it to enforce them?

[Pillowdonkey]

If a friend visits with children and you say "I don't allow the kids to do X" is it your job or the child's parents to make them follow that?

For example, a few days ago I had a friend visit with her child. I said I don't allow toys on the trampoline, because it's a recipe for broken bones. Their child kept dragging bikes and other toys on the trampoline and I was constantly running back and forth, taking toys away and eventually giving up and saying no more trampolines because you're not listening to me. Causing a massive tantrum.
Throughout this friend just sat on her phone, sometimes rolling her eyes at her child, but making no effort to tell them not to do it.

If this was the other way round I would absolutely be stepping in to stop my child from doing it.

Yabu: you set the rules, you enforce them.

Yanbu: it's the parents job to make sure their kids are listening

Child's mother should have backed you up.

Other mum should have backed you up
Totally.

What kind of lazy parent watches their child drag a bike onto someone’s trampoline and says nothing?!!

I think if you’re going to have unusual or particularly fussy rules you might need to do more of the reminding (although I would still expect that if a parent is present then discipline is their job), but in the situation you describe the parent of the child should have enforced normal civilised behaviour and if he couldn’t behave appropriately, taken him home.

I wouldn’t have them over again.

It is entirely up to the child’s mother to parent them, I may have pointed out that he had a bike on the trampoline and she should tell him to put it away.
My parenting usually relies on stating “don’t come running to me if your legs fall off” but I’ve managed to keep them alive to almost adulthood.

Both. You reiterate the rule, parent actually does the shitwork. However, I do grit my teeth when the rules are stupid. I'd rather leave and not come back in that case though, rather than not enforce.

I wouldn't be having them back for quite some time if the mother can't be arsed to help sort that behaviour out.

I can't really vote, as it is both.
If I took my child somewhere, then I would be reminding them or rules / stopping them doing things, but, if for some reason the other parents weren't, then I would step up and enforce them, yes.

Although I can't really think of any time in all my years of parenting where I have been friends with someone whose idea of parenting was so ver far from mine that this would arise.

I’ve definitely said “we don’t do that here to the child” and then “we don’t allow xyz, would you prefer if we change activity so your DC aren’t tempted?” to the parent too.

Ideally the other mother would, but if they dont then I would give one firm warning with the consequence outlined, then the trampoline would be out of bounds. Any tantruming and they would be directed to their mum.

sometimes in those circumstances ds would recognise the look and help by saying to his friend, you better do as she says as she means it. 🤣