AIBU to tell work I won't go to Australia?

[Corporatepreggolady]

Hi there,

First time posting so would love any thoughts. I'm very early pregnant (yay!) but have a work trip to Australia scheduled for September, when I'll be 21 weeks.

I know that's below the official no go threshold, so technically there may be no health issues provided I move around to avoid deep vein thrombosis.

But... it would still mean 24 hours of flying, awful jetlag, being away from DP and a VERY intense work week on the other side of leading workshops when I land.

AIBU to ask work to find someone else for this trip?

I think raise these points, but also make it clear that you don't feel comfortable with it personally. If you just raise it as logistical problems then they might work to find a solution - in fact, they may feel that they should do so so that you're not 'missing out on opportunities' because you're pregnant. If your manager or whoever then think they've dealt with it, which isn't impossible (my work had no problem insuring me to travel to the US at 30 weeks) they might then be annoyed if you turn round and say 'well, actually I still don't want to go' once they've 'solved' the problem.

I personally would play up the uncertainty angle - ie you don't know how you'll feel by then, you're not sure of any risks etc - and highlight that you want to address this now, while there's still plenty of time for an alternative to be found. Telling them their insurance won't cover you is silly - you don't know that - but it IS reasonable to mention that this is a concern and it would need to be checked.

I also think, up to a point, mentioning that you feel vulnerable to be so far away while pregnant is okay. NOT that you'll miss your DP etc, but pregnancy is a vulnerable time and an employer with a decent process for supporting and helping staff with both physical and mental health issues would take that into account. It's not quite the same but for example, DH and I toyed with going to Dubai for a little sun during my very low risk pregnancy - at about 30 weeks. But I felt too vulnerable - the thought of something happening and potentially getting good medical care, but in a hospital in which Dh would not be allowed to be with me freaked me out. And I am low risk, mentally resilient etc. We went to Bath instead and didn't get any sun!

Your work probably may not even allow it anyway. I had the same and as told I could not go as company policy was no international travel after 20 weeks due to insurance purposes. I would let them know now.

I’m 10 weeks and just got back from an Australian trip to see family. It was very much a needed trip as I hadn’t seen family in so long due to Covid, but it was brutal. I’m also an Australian citizen so I knew I had access to free high quality health care if I needed it. Travel insurance leaves a lot to be desired. You are not unreasonable to say no.

I’m also an Australian citizen so I knew I had access to free high quality health care if I needed it.

You do know there is a reciprocal agreement with the UK right. So anyone who is a citizen within the UK gets the same entitlement ma as we Aussies do here in regards to health. Many people just not understanding that on this thread. Not saying the OP should go, up to them but for the love of god don’t use the ‘no healthcare’ argument if from the UK.

if you are not yet 12 weeks pregnant you are essentially being forced to tell employers ahead of when you’d normally do that . So I think you need to communicate carefully with them.
state that you are in early pregnancy and that wouldn’t normally tell them at this stage as there are a lot of things that could happen (sorry OP, but until 12 weeks risk of miscarriage are relatively high for us all which is why scan and announcement usually wait past this point). So you expect it to remain absolutely confidential between boss, HR and any occupational health people involved. They are not to say anything to colleagues etc at this stage without your express permission. This will make it a little less difficult if something did happen.
then tell them your concerns about Australian trip and ask them what company policy is for such long haul visit. Basically put it all in their court first and see if they can make provision that would reassure your travel fears, or they outright can’t send you due to insurance etc. at this stage do not raise that you don’t want to go or that you don’t want to be away from husband- that’s basically refusing to abide by your contract due to emotional feelings. Let them go and do leg work to see how they will make provisions for travel for your pregnancy at least I’d expect flat bed sleep class flights and then access to maternity care advice over there, so that if you have issues you have a named location to go to for that specialist advice. And I’d expect them to take action to ensure your working days are not extended as they often are while travelling. I’d also expect them to keep visit short and not expect you to have to stay over an entire weekend- although you’ll probably loose 2 weeekends for travel in and out and jet lag recovery. If they don’t immediately state they need to do a risk assessment, state that they do need to do one before you make arrangements to travel. As others stated there is a possibility that they might not let you go anyway, but for some companies , and if you are a key player in critical objectives, they may suck up costs to get you there while pregnant. I don’t think then, if risk assessment is done, that you can really refuse if they’ve made suitable adjustments. Not if it’s part of your contract. So I’d then sit tight and go along with plans to travel and see how you feel. 1st trimester is worse than second for many women…you may be exhausted and a little anxious right now, but by 5-6 months positively blooming and raring to go…so just wait it out….if when you get to point of travel you have physical symptoms that will make it impossible then go GP sick note route- they’re actually “wellness notes” now so GP could state that they are happy you can go into work but you are not fit enough to fly, travel etc…you just need to talk through that with GP when you get to that time.

please don’t panic about travelling at that stage, you are right to raise concerns and get them to make adaptations…but don’t do anything rash like refusing to go if you’re not happy at this stage. Show willing ..keep your game in your career as your going to need it through maternity leave, and use GP if you really have to nearer the time.

Quick look on line shows that many of carriers that would get you there require a medical certificate for fitness to fly issues within x days of flying . So that means you would get chance to review risks with your doctor immediately before flying and if it was an issue (including if it would make you unduly anxious I assume given that could raise your blood pressure) the doctor could merely state you aren’t fit to fly.

I did a lot of flying when I was expecting my two but the insurers put the kibosh on anything that wasn't within Europe very early on (my long haul was transatlantic but not usually US). I also had to have a fit to fly note most of the time and was often asked to show it. It was a running joke with my GP that every time I saw her for an ante natal check up she had to write a new one.

I think your approach is the right one - it was the line I took at the time and my firm were really good at keeping it quiet - just 2 partners and the Hr manager knew until I said it was OK to tell people I was expecting.

If they do effectively try and make you go (I dont think a responsible employer would) then make sure their business travel insurance doesnt have a pregnancy exclusion otherwise you could be stuck paying medical bills

No way would I do it

i went to Australia in my 20s single and swore I’d never go again - for me the flight was torture and no mater how much I enjoyed my travels there the horrendous journey spoilt the memory

I think you're reasons are all easily solved.

Go in summer where it's not as hot
Plane journeys are smoother for long haul as planes are larger and they're actually less cramped
You will cope without sleep for one day for the sake of seeing someone that you love
You can stop off on the way there and the way back eg USA, thailand, HK
You can always go with your child to visit somewhere thats more in line with the holiday you want like New Zealandwhich might be more up your street if you like Scandinavia