To wonder why people have affairs

[Grace321]

If your husband had an affair, did you see it coming?

in hindsight do you think the tell tale signs were there?

if you had an affair yourself, what were the reasons?

This post doesn't sound at all like a journalist fishing for information for an article on affairs.

@IHateWasps I was just thinking that. Let's hope people don't fall for it.

He would start saying he was working more hours but didn't have extra money, he would go to the shop and it would take an hour instead of 10 minutes, he would sit with his phone angled so if he was using it I couldn't see the screen, if he put it down it was screen down instead of up, he slept with it under his pillow, he stopped coming to bed at the same time as me and stay up till the early hours. There were little white lies I picked up on that didn't add up but I dismissed at the time. But it wasn't until I found out I put all these things together and realised id known for a while.

Initially, I felt blindsided, but it didn't take long for me to put everything in place and see that all these little red flag id seen, and decided to ignore, were red flags for a reason.

4.5 years later, I'm still single, because every little red flag or moment of doubting what someone says signals the end of a relationship, on the first date or the 5th. I don't think ill ever be able fully to trust again but I cant settle for not 100% trusting someone, so I'm destined to be single forever. I wish he knew the effect his choices have had on my life moving forward, and how he broke me in so many ways.

I’m honestly not a journalist, I am a married mother of 2. DH has been working crazy hours recently and this thought popped into my head.

obviously I can’t prove I’m not a journalist 😂

I’m honestly not a journalist

You certainly worded it like one.

I am a married mother of 2.

That clears it up then. You're definitely not a journalist because no journalist has ever been a married Mother of two.

Because they are selfish assholes only thinking of themselves usually. If you don't want to be with someone and want to be with someone else, leave your partner first. Cheating isn't the answer.

I had an affair during my 1st marriage, because H was an abusive, coercive, gaslighting shit. I was desperate for affection and kindness. AP was lovely but decided to end it as he knew it wasn't a long term prospect for him. Hurt but understood his POV and divorced. It wasn't the excitement or the deceit that made me do it.

@IHateWasps maybe I should change career’s 😅

I've been close. Lack of kindness, attention, appreciation on top of loneliness at being a stay at home mum, and having difficulty getting back into the workplace.

It was a horrible time tbh.

The man in question was lovely. I felt immediately looked after and he was flirting too.

I resisted though and things are better now. Thank god.

I'd never have one because I'd never want to be that asshole. If you're doing it because you're miserable or your relationship is abusive then leave the relationship, don't try and patch up your self esteem by shagging someone else first.

Three people I know had affairs because they were fed up with their husband and marriage after many years together and started sneaking around. Two married the one they had the affair with and one divorced and found a different partner.
What really did go on I don't know in detail , but it's been the women who have instigated it first.

Ihatewasps what a dickhead comment

My first husband had an affair - at least only one that I knew of, I suspect probably more. In hindsight, there were lots of signs, and basically it was just his personality, which was gregarious and flirty. At forty he was hit with the "OMG I'm getting old' thing and that's when he left. Thirty years later, he told his sister the only time he'd really been happy with a woman was with me, and how he'd regretted throwing that away. Too late.

Ego
Arrogant, selfish