Birthday

[user1494050295]

A friend had a milestone birthday and a party. Not a massive one and it was not local. I had been invited then not invited due to the location and space not being available. Her plans were scaled back. There was a plan to have another party , which I was invited to, and was local, but they have decided not to go ahead as was feeling really stressed out. Back story is I was there for a previous milestone. They have been there for my milestones. So I have got them a card. I was planning on getting them this thing worth £100 but as there is now no party etc, keen to scale back to half or less than half. Thoughts?

Buy them what you want at the cost you want to pay as long as it’s what you think they’ll like. All the party stuff is irrelevant.

Thank you purple

I don’t base gifts to close friends on whether they have a party or not. I send similar value present to those not celebrating, the ones who we pay to celebrate with and the ones who host a celebration.

It would be different if it’s a big celebration you could go to but we’re excluded from.

Thank you. The person is a good friend and I have felt somewhat excluded. Hence the post

And agreed about similar gifts if a good friend party or not

I first read this thinking you had been uninvited to the party that was still going ahead, in which case I would perfectly understand you scaling back your present. I’d be scaling back to nothing I think!

But it isn’t that. You are seriously basing your decision on whether and what size party she has. Wow. Some friend you are. I have never heard anything so miserable.

I was planning on getting them this thing worth £100 but as there is now no party etc, keen to scale back to half or less than half. Thoughts?

Why does the presence/absence of a party change the value of a gift? Is it because now you won't be seen to buy an expensive present? I can't understand this.

Thanks for the different perspectives. And to add I am a good friend to the person.

And I had been uninvited