Be rude to me

[Tellmeiabu]

I’m 33 and I can’t seem to get pregnant.

And deep down I know why. I’m a grown woman that is 5’4 and weighs 94 pounds. I look disgusting and feel like shit constantly. I need to eat more and gain weight and hopefully get the baby I long for.

please say scary horrible things to make me get a grip.

Do you have an eating disorder OP or are you naturally very slight?
Is your weight affecting your periods?
I'm not going to say anything unkind to you, ultimately that won't help. What support are you accessing at the moment?

Have you been to your GP? Seen a therapist?

Being rude to you wont help. You need help with being kind to yourself.

OP, I am so sorry, I completely misread the post and have given wrong opinion. So sorry.

I don’t have any specific eating disorder but I do have disordered eating. I don’t eat enough in order to control my weight. Luckily I have always had very regular periods but I do worry my lifestyle is stopping me from conceiving and I’m also just so tried and worn down from the control and time spent on it. I’ve lost my confidence because I look and feel bad and genuinely no adult clothes fit me well so I live in leggings and baggy t-shirts.

thank you for replying!

@JKRowlingDevilWoman I’ve had a lot of therapy. I’m quite self aware and I know what I need to do and why but for some reason I can’t. And then I cry each month when I get a negative pregnancy test.

It sounds as if you have a full time shitty committee in your head and I doubt any of us here could be as unpleasant about you as you are about yourself and it doesn't appear to be helping. I think you should try to being as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in a similar situation. That does not mean lying about your situation to feel better but being compassionate whilst being honest.

You don't explain if you are undereating or are naturally very slim. If you are trying to gain weight but can't or are intentionally not eating enough then I think you probably need to discuss it with someone qualified to advise you.

It sounds like you need to talk to a psychologist with experience in this area.
Remember when you do get pregnant you will need to eat enough of the right foods to nourish the fetus / baby. But it clearly isn't just a case of knowing that.

Be kind to yourself and get support.

Op at 42kg you need to seek medical help urgently. Your BMI puts you at real risk of serious health complications.

Sorry, I'm a very slow typist!

I bet you're beautiful really, I will not put you down in any way. But please do try to work on eating more because if you get pregnant baby will get all it needs and your body will be second there. You need some reserves to get through it. Whats good for baby is good for your body planning to house baby for nine months. You're their first apartment your body needs to be prepared to take in a wee little tenant.