Have you ever fallen in love with a woman?

[Whattodo1978]

I’m married and straight (or have always identified as straight ) but there’s a woman at work that I feel strongly about and I can feel myself falling in love with her . She is the most beautiful person. It feels electric when I am with her alone. It is making me question myself. AIBU?

I had toxic intense friendships with girls too at school. I definitely fancied boys though. I have never wanted a best female friend since those days because my experience of giving my all to a friendship was so negative.

Yes definitely. Had an affair with a woman just after I left my abusive bastard of a husband. The sex was incredible, but long term. I knew I was straight, so have only been with men since (and haven't found another woman who turned me on like that one did).
I know I'll only love men, but I can see myself having the odd ONS with a woman.

I recognise that toxic friendship / friendship tap being turned on and off aspect @FastBlastfromthePast. That's partly why I ended up in such a mess.

I have fallen in love with more than one woman but I am bisexual so that's not unexpected.

The more pertinent question is what's going on in your marriage, are you happy in it and does it need some work?

I have but I then I was single when we met and went on to have a relationship with her.

I think her gender is a bit irrelevant. If you're happily married then I would distance myself from her. If you're unhappily married, address that first.

Have you heard of limerence? Its a type of infatuation, and can be extremely intense. Its not worth losing you marriage over, because it isn't real.

Yes, i have never admitted to my oh that often feel attracted to women. I think more than I do men. It's very confusing at times.

Off to Google

I married young and never had the chance to fully explore my sexuality. Fast forward 20 years, and after the divorce allowed myself to figure myself out. Turns out one of the reasons I never liked sex with the ex is because I'm not straight. 🤷🏼‍♀️ There were other issues in my marriage than just that, but being a late blooming lesbian is a thing - not down to hormones or limerance, but just finally having the opportunity or confidence to listen to ourselves. Heterosexuality is the "default" or "norm" and any lesbian feelings in the first blush of youth are seen as "intense friendships" or "girl crushes" and not taken seriously.

Having said all that, if you feel your sexuality isn't aligned to being married to a man, you need to deal with that first.

Yes when I was at school, assuming that counts. I was distressed about it at the time. I’d be less so now although I don’t consider myself bisexual. But I’m single

I was very much in love with a woman in my 20s but it was the 1980s and it did not feel possible to build a life with her. The relationship lasted 3 years and I still think about her now. I have been married for more than 30 years, I am happy and love my husband, but not in the intense way I loved her.

Sometimes I wish I could meet her, just once, because there are things I would like to say (not to rekindle anything). I really hope she has had a good life

I am 48 and have never had a fleeting thought about a woman in that way. If anything menopause has made me forget about sexual attraction altogether. I don’t find anyone attractive anymore!

No, never and I am your age so I guess not a hormones thing. But secretly I would adore a woman to feel like this about me. It would be so much more validating than a man. Men just aren’t as discerning as other women.