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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

husband asks son to buy cannabis for him

8 replies

goldenrox · 11/06/2022 08:24

Please give advice I need perspective on this situation. My son is 16 and smokes cannabis. I am very clear with him that I don't want him to smoke, that he is not allowed it in the house. When I have found it in his room I have taken it and destroyed it. This has caused my son to get very upset and angry with me.

My husband smoked cannabis when we met, however over the years after marriage I was not aware that he smoking. He certainly wasn't bringing it home. Around 6 years ago it was clear he was smoking cannabis occasionally, I wasn't thrilled about this and I don't like smoking but it seemed minimal. Last year I found out that he had been asking our son to go and buy cannabis for him. This meant that when my son did not have money to buy his own cannabis his father would enable him to get some as he would be given some of the cannabis that his dad bought. My son told me there were times when he would not have smoked cannabis as he had no money and no access to it but due to his father's behaviour he was able to. My son has admitted poor mental health and did not to well in college last year and I feel the amount of cannabis he smoked and the impact of having one parents telling him of for smoking and the other asking him to buy cannabis and to lie to his mother would have had such a negative impact on him. I am also concerned that my son is doing something illegal and is being put in a possible dangerous situation?

After a lot of arguments and very nearly separating my husband promised this wouldn't happen again. Then my husband became unwell and stopped smoking all together as a result of this. Yesterday I found out for the last month he has been asking my son to buy him cannabis again, multiple times over the last month. I am devastated. We also have a young daughter, I want to protect my children.

I need perspective here, what would you do?

OP posts:
RedPlumbob · 11/06/2022 08:26

YABU, for having a drug addict husband and then wondering why your son is doing the same - it’s learned behaviour. As for him sending your child to fetch his drugs, I’ve got no fucking words.

Me? I’d report the entire thing to the police, boot him out and get a decent solicitor.

BatshitBanshee · 11/06/2022 08:27

I would turf out the husband. He took advantage of your son's poor mental health and then essentially fed your son's addiction to cannabis by footing the bill for it on the condition he commit a criminal act for his father. Your H is a selfish arsehole and that is unforgivable.

StopStartStop · 11/06/2022 08:29

Is your DH the father of your children?

You need to ditch him and to protect both your children.

Doingmybest12 · 11/06/2022 08:29

This is really awful on so many levels. You need to protect your son and tell your husband to leave.

goldenrox · 11/06/2022 08:29

Also should add, when i have found cannabis in my son's procession and destroyed it, I am aware now of two occasions that the reason he had the cannabis in the first place was because my husband asked him to buy it. My son told me later he was angry with me for destroying it but also angry with his father for letting him get in trouble and just watching and that his father 'threw him under the bus'.

OP posts:
goldenrox · 11/06/2022 08:31

Thank you, its what i needed to hear, my husband had been having counselling and i really did believe this was behind us.

OP posts:
MrDaddybear · 11/06/2022 08:43

Your husband sounds like a legend. A little weed never hurt. Maybe you should have a little smoke of it and mellow out a bit... peace out ✌️

Notanotherwindow · 11/06/2022 08:48

I'd report to police, throw your DH out and apply for divorce to be perfectly honest.

He's a minor ffs

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