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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be a little annoyed at friend?aibu?

20 replies

inklop · 10/06/2022 10:07

We are both 36 so not teenagers.
We both have our own life now but are still close friends.
She doesn't really get out much these days as she has 2 kids.
We chat on the phone every other day.
We had a spa day a few months ago and had a great time.
I haven't seen her since
Saturday night she was at a gig with her sister.
I was also going with a friend.
It was a standing gig.
It got to the day and we had been texting then I said "let me know where your standing tonight and I'll come say hello"
Or we could have a drink after,
Then I asked her what she was planning to wear (we have many a outfit dilemma )
Anyway she read it and no reply
I got to the gig and thought she probably text but I had no signal inside.
Got out and no response (even tho she had been on WhatsApp since )
Anyway next day she rings me saying she had a great night and asked where I was stood...then said her and her sister had went for a few drinks after.
Aibu to be a bit upset she didn't text or want to meet at the gig ? Or even a drink after ?

OP posts:
Applespearsandoranges · 10/06/2022 10:09

Sounds like she wanted to enjoy a night with her sister and couldn’t think how to word it?
i wouldn’t be annoyed because your friend already had plans and you tried to muscle in

FinallyFluid · 10/06/2022 10:11

What Apples said.

KarenOLantern · 10/06/2022 10:12

I would feel a bit hurt, but if she's a good friend I would give the benefit of the doubt first and foremost.

The first thing that springs to mind is maybe it's something to do with the sister. Maybe her sister was going through something and needed some one-on-one sister time. Maybe your friend just wanted some one-on-one sister time and didn't want to hurt you by saying "sorry but I don't want to see you". Maybe she thought you and her sister, or her sister and your friend wouldn't get on, or she was embarrassed about how her sis might react in front of you and your friend. Maybe she doesn't like your other friend but didn't want to have to tell you that.

luxxlisbon · 10/06/2022 10:14

Yes YABU. She was busy with someone else, maybe she just wanted to spend quality time with her sister and now a random group of 4 where half the group don’t know each other.

Original poster
inklop · 10/06/2022 10:23

I've met her sister before.
I wasn't going to tag along with her
I was going to say hello
I found it a bit strange

OP posts:
Lou98 · 10/06/2022 10:26

I agree with the others. You were there with a friend, she was there with her Sister. It would have been nice to say hello but it's really not a big deal or something to get wound up about

fghj149 · 10/06/2022 10:31

YANBU imo. That’s slightly weird behaviour - although perhaps she got the wrong end of the stick and didn’t realise that you would’ve just said hello then let her and her sister have their night. To ignore your messages is also quite rude. She obviously wants to continue being your friend so sounds like she couldn’t really handle the situation with both of you there? I wouldn’t make a thing of it now but I’d remember it in case something similar happens again.

Lime37 · 10/06/2022 10:33

Yer it changes the dynamic I wouldn’t take it personally xx

Applespearsandoranges · 10/06/2022 11:00

You asked to go for a drink after though?
man’s why do you need to say hello just because you were at the same place

if your usually this needy perhaps she just wanted a night off from you

Ducksinthebath · 10/06/2022 11:03

Would it really have just been a quick hello and off you go again? Doesn’t sound like it given how close you appear to be. She’s entitled to spend time with her sister without you and you’re coming across a bit clingy I’m afraid.

Original poster
inklop · 10/06/2022 11:06

Clingy ?
Needy?
Really ?
We hardly ever see each other
It was because we were at the same place at the same time and she never goes out ..so i thought it would of been nice to say hello.
She rings me practically every day so I doubt she things I'm clingy !

OP posts:
Moosake · 10/06/2022 11:07

Not sure she likes you much if she won't even want to say hello

Applespearsandoranges · 10/06/2022 11:08

Yes from what you have posted here you sound needy
because your upset your friend wouldn’t say hello to you whilst she was enjoying a night with her sister….

WDTABNONONO · 10/06/2022 11:09

Maybe her sister just wanted to spend the evening with her but your friend didn't want to say thwt in case you thought badly of her sister?

JenniferBarkley · 10/06/2022 11:10

How close are you? I can't imagine being in the same room as one of my closest friends and not spending a bit of time with them, especially now that we rarely manage to meet up given we all have small kids and live far apart.

A more distant friend I might leave.

strawberry2017 · 10/06/2022 11:11

I think you are massively over thinking it. She's a friend forget about it and move on.

deirdreshere · 10/06/2022 11:15

If she doesn't get out much, I'd say she was just looking forward to a night out with her sister. I'd respect that and let it be.

MobLife · 10/06/2022 11:18

I'm amazed you speak on the phone every other day! Wot on earth happens in every 48hrs that you have to talk about?!

TheMarmaladeYears · 10/06/2022 11:22

No matter how good a friend, sometimes you just want to keep the pre-arranged dynamics. She was out with her sister. Not you. I'm afraid to say that if I was being texted to give precise information about where I might be standing etc., I'd probably go missing too. It feels rather like a pursuit.

DrManhattan · 10/06/2022 13:32

Comes across a bit needy to be fair

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