Alcoholism and neurodiversity

[mumofthreesmallmen3]

Hi I know this is the wrong topic group for this thread but I'm really interested into having a discussion about this. I'm also on my phone so I don't think I can do paragraphs. I'm 32 now Ive had problems in the past with alcoholism, Ive been reading information on the connection between the two, I'm being investigated for possible autism/asd. Another thread I read earlier about ND and feeling/being unliked has made me question more, I didn't know or suspect until recently but I have always not 'been right '. Ive never really had friends and I went through school with only 1 or 2 friends, painfully shy, never fitting in, at this time (90s) neurodiversity wasn't so much of a thing/knowledge around and I was just marked as shy but I really understood that thread as Ive always been unlikeable and not 'in' I spent most of my life trying to fit in but just couldn't. I find social situations really hard and exhausting, I'm intelligent and done very well in exams but socially really let's me down,I'm polite and kind but often ignored, as a child I didn't play with my cousin's etc at family get togethers, instead I would sit under the table alone. I was just described as being 'born shy' and that was me for most of my childhood and early teenage years. Until I found alcohol at around 14/15, people liked me all of a sudden. Looking back this was the start of a unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I used it to fit in, people that didn't like me or felt I was off or weird or too reserved started to really like me, I felt I fitted in as I was able to relax and ultimately change myself to a more standard of fitting in. This carried on for all of my 20s, until things got worse and I ended up having real troubles because I couldn't keep up with that level of alcohol and it turned into a lot more regular drinking to be able to function or cope. I don't know why I'd never questioned the possibility before but it does seem to make a lot of sense now that I know more and I think it was quite a likely thing to happen to use alcohol to cope and it wasn't just me making bad choices? I didn't make good choices at all from around 27 to just recently, I am coming out the other side now but I wanted to see other people's experience of these things going hand in hand. I also struggled to get the treatment I needed, most treatment for addiction Is based on group Therapy/aa/talking, as I find that so difficult I really found it too much when I was in the thick of things to be able to access them, I know they are proved to be the best treatment but it doesn't suit everyone and can even become more stressful? Any thoughts welcome on this, thanks

Just trying to understand your question. Is it whether we think you think you relied on alcohol because you're neuro diverse? Or if you are neuro diverse generally?

Alcohol can be abused for many reasons. Confidence is one of the key reasons a lot people use and enjoy it, as well as to help them de stress/unwind etc. I don't think you using it for extra confidence and to fit in definitely means you're neuro diverse. If that is the case basically everyone I knew at university and in my early twenties was also neuro diverse too!

I think it's fairly well known that there are links between alcoholism and neurodiversity; what's harder to know is whether this is because alcoholism shares a root cause with neurodiverse conditions, or whether neurodiverse people turn to alcohol to mask or mitigate their difficulties.

This is a few years old now but might be worth a look:

'Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope?' amzn.eu/d/9nQEaJQ

I could have written your post. I am 38 and struggled horribly with alcoholism for too many years.

I have now been abstinent for close to 2 years but not before I almost destroyed my life, and my family’s life, through my truly horrific alcoholic actions.

As a result of some of the events in my life I now have an alcohol specialist psychiatrist/ addictologist and a large part of our consultation focuses on neurodiversity. She has since diagnosed me with Asperger’s (though I believe that term is not used anymore and it’s ASD) and to simplify a highly complex topic - yes, so much of what you say rings true and it sounds like you are neurodiverse and it can clearly be linked to alcoholism.

For me my diagnosis was simply a relief to understand there was an underlying condition behind my never feeling ‘right’ with crippling anxiety and taking some horrendous drink related actions as a result. It doesn’t change anything but it helps to have some validation that there was more to it, if that makes sense.

Maybe a diagnosis could help you, if nothing else to confirm your thoughts and help explain your feelings and actions too.

Good luck!