To not give too much thought to what my toddler eats or am I just a terrible mum?

[PatOnTheBack]

Inspired by a thread I read this morning, sort of, where poster's were referring to high salt in food when eating out not being suitable for young children ect..

And it got me thinking, am I just a really bad mum because I've never given much thought to what my young child eats beyond making sure he has a balance of healthy stuff.

He's 18 months, absolutely adores fruit of any kind and eats at least two types of fruit per day, not massively keen on veg but at least one type always offered with meals. But yeah, he drinks juice, sometimes he'll have water, sometimes he'll have juice, he has chocolate every now and then, might share a few of my crisps from a bag, have an ice-cream out at the park, he might have a dreaded high salt sandwich from a cafe (I wouldn't know because I don't check things like that ) and so on...

He eats good things and he also eats what some people on here would say are bad things or 'not recommended'. I've not really come across anything that I've felt should be totally off limits for him to try or have a small amount of (except fizzy drinks and the obvious things like alcohol obviously haha).

He's a normal looking 18 month old, not skinny, not fat.

Am I the only one who doesn't really 'care' what their young child eats? And by not care I mean I don't have specific off limit things like juice, chocolate or crisps or salt and so on? As long as he doesn't eat things things in massive amounts or daily I've never even thought anything of it.

Congratulations, you're a completely normal, rational mum!

People on here are batshit about a thousand different things, and it becomes a bit of an echo chamber. Someone mentions that they only feed their child homegrown veggies and everyone else piles on to avoid looking like a "bad parent".

You're raising a kid with a balanced diet and no weird hangups about food. You're doing a great job.

I think as long as things are broadly balanced across the whole week that’s all that matters.

Yep. Everything in moderation, including moderation!

Oh phew okay, thanks 🤣 It's not the first time I've read things and thought fuck am I doing something really terrible here!

He even shared a bit of my chow mein from the Chinese the other week

Totally fine!

Wasn’t that just how it used to be not so long ago? It’s fairly recent everyone’s gone up in arms about it I think.

I wouldn’t worry at all, salt in moderation after one is fine (I.e not a chow mein everyday!)

The parents feeding their children ‘healthy’ food with hidden vegetables in muffins etc… are statistically more likely to have problems in the future with picky eating rather than those that just feed their children what they are eating.

We had problems with our daughter eating and losing weight around weaning, the dietician advocated letting children eat chocolate etc to provide a balanced diet. Withholding generally is found to backfire in the long run!

I don't know, when he was first born I had older family tell me he'd get 'addicted' to sweet things if he tried fruit before veg and things of a similar vein!

In my mind I just think it's common sense, I won't feed him this stuff all day every day but have never seen a problem with him eating and trying varied things, including some 'junk'. He's not addicted as far as I can tell!

Completely normal, op.

Some of the things I read on here or on other social media platforms are abit eye roll 🙄 it’s not a competition!

My dd ( 2.8) probably eats too much fruit according to some people, she likes the odd packet of crisps, loves chicken/veggie nuggets, has a big ice cream at the weekends when we are out, but she also eats lots of vegetables everyday, loves water (doesn’t like juice!) and things like weetibix and Greek yogurt.
I’m not going to worry about her eating a few salty olives ( which she could eat hundreds of) or some chocolate.

As a pp said - a balanced diet and not giving your child weird hang ups about food is the goal!

I am probably more on the "batshit" scale - my 2 year old has only had milk or water, I can probably count on my hands the number of times she has had chocolate, I do put effort into finding ways of making sure she has fruit and vegetables in her diet every day, I worry about portion sizes etc.

But then my little girl was born with a number of congenital heart defects and I suppose being a bit controlling about her diet while she is still little has been reassuring for me. I recognise that she needs to have balance to avoid going too far the other way as she grows up, so I am working on loosening up a little.

I suppose what I am saying is you never know what is going on within other families. What you are doing seems to be working well for you and your little one, so don't worry about what the rest of us are doing!

Yep, everything in moderation is sensible!

I'm the same - he eats pretty much what he wants and what is on offer is generally balanced with fruit/veg/snacks in addition to meals. I have friends that won't use stock cubes because of salt, won't allow jam because of sugar, won't allow squash etc but in all honesty I really don't see how those things occasionally are bad.

The only thing that strikes me- and im not a puritan when it comes to food - is "sometimes he'll have water". I think water should be the main drink for children- the occasional should he heavily watered down juice.

The only other thing Im strict on is no sweets- i dont mind chocolate, i dont mind crisps- but no hard candy. I see toddlers with lollies and I dont get it. It makes children hyper, destroys their teeth, doesnt even fill them up.

Tbh OP what you have written is what I recognise from parents I know in real life. Most of them make the effort that you do to give their children healthy and balanced diets, but also let them have the odd bits and pieces of chocolate, ice cream, McDonalds etc etc.

Some attitudes about food I've read on here just seem so extreme, even 'normal' dinners like sausage and mash or lasagne I've seen referred to as if they are the devil! Makes me wonder what some people on here eat, the amount of things that I've seen mentioned as crap.

I’m on my third toddler now and I don’t care as long as she’s fed and happy.

shes 22 months, hates fruit of any kind, but will eat carrots, peas, broccoli, potato. likes meat. Eats lentil dahl, weetabix sometimes eggs if the mood takes her. Only drinks water or milk, she’s been given squash or fruit juice at playgroups and spits them out, she doesn’t like the taste. Thats good enough for me.

She has chocolate/crisps/ice cream etc because my 8 year old does sometimes. And I can’t lose sleep about the hatred of fruit because I haven’t eaten any for most of my life - I prefer vegetables too.

My eldest was worse than her. He basically lived off yogurt and toast until he was 3 and a half. I tied myself in knots over his diet, beat myself up no end.

He’s an extremely healthy 20 year old man now who will eat anything and has always chosen food on the healthier side, eats a ton of fruit, veg and fresh meat. When he was a toddler, I had visions of him growing into a fussy eater but he’s the opposite, there’s nothing he wouldn’t eat.

He suddenly changed at 3/4 and would eat anything. I’m sure his baby sister will be the same, so I don’t worry this time round.

I am the batshit one but I’m learning to mellow out 😂😂.

Our toddler eats exactly what we eat and has his own portions in the freezer with no salt, like chilli, curry etc (no actual chillis but all the other spices).

He has a whole shelf of frozen home made snacks with no salt or sugar like oat bars and muffins and cookies.

He only drinks milk and water, don’t see the need for juice as he’s not the most amazing at having his teeth brushed so we are careful.

He is deffo partial to a cheeky icecream though but only a couple of times a month, he’s had chocolate about 3 times in 20 months, again don’t see the need at the moment until he knows what it is.

We use zero salt stock cubes and I make home made jam with no sugar in 10 mins.

I'm totally with you OP... I reckon my 1yr old probably eats far worse actually! I also have DS who is 6, so its hard to balance between them! To be honest, I know I should be more mindful of the food he eats as theres a lot of processed foods (e.g., babybel, baked beans, crisps).

However, I also find those people that control food and check all labels and have a panic attack about the salt content of a shop sandwich odd. A lady I used to work with once went into a blind panic at lunch because she calculated her kid had eaten over the recommended amount of vitamin A......I couldn't even tell you what is recommended. Everyone else I know with kids in real life is pretty laid back with this stuff though, so I think you're in the majority OP!

You described me op. My kids are 11 now and eat pretty much anything and everything apart from fish in any form.

I'm basically lazy and they got a bit of whatever we were having with some cucumber and tomato on the side which they've always loved.

They can be funny with sauce and like gravy on the side for a roast dinner for example.

I didn't mainline them salt as babies but a bit of sense is required.

Some of my friends kids have sensory issues and one AFRID and that's a different story and really difficult.

Hmmm I can imagine the “no salt, no sugar” kids will go nuts at the sight of their first party ring biscuit given half a chance.
Everything in moderation I would say- reducing sugar is better for everyone but there’s a reason why some ingredients like sugar or salt appear in produce ( because the taste rank without it). I think the best attitude is to assume a child will eat what everyone else eats. It annoys me that so many restaurants offer such bland, beige food on the childrens menu. Since they are clearly not healthier options they are presumably driven by consumers.

I might be seen as batshit but my kid is allergic to all kinds of stuff. So she's never allowed any chocolate, or cookies, or pancakes, or pizza or whatever because it always contains one of her allergens. I'm stuck with fruit and veggies and a wholegrain sandwich with avocado, cucumber or a banana because that's what she can eat without vomiting and rashes. She eats healthily because she has no choice, it's so limited it gives me a headache trying to come up with stuff for her to eat. I now make my own "peanut butter" made from almonds and hazelnuts to put on a sandwich. Expensive but very tasty tbh...

I- like many parents I think- have relaxed a lot with my second, but I'm still careful about the amount of salt he eats as if you look at the content in stuff it could be very easy for a small person to consume far more than they should if not monitored. That doesn't mean you have to be totally anal about it but just have a rough sense of what adds up to 2g a day.

It’s just normal. Most people don’t obsess like they do on mumsnet. Most people just eat most things in moderation and let their kids eat normal food.

I'm similar with mine. As long as they're eating healthy stuff I'm not too concerned if they're eating " bad stuff". I think a balanced attitude to food is far healthier than keeping things off limits.

I'm probably a bit on the batshit scale!

I've 2.4 year old twins. They eat everything (nothing I've done, they just have great appetites). I make all their food from scratch, so they fill up with fruit, vegs, meat, fish, eggs, dairy, pasta, potatoes etc. One of them was eating swede the other day, and said "yum yum" (weird kid!).

I don't have a sweet tooth, and don't like chocolate, biscuits, cake, etc, so I never think to buy it, so they never have it at home. At my dad's birthday party, they tried sponge-cake, and liked it. For their second birthday, my brother got them a chocolate cake, but they hated it.
I love crisps, but haven't given them any crisps yet. They don't know what they are, so I'll wait till they ask for them. I also love pizza, and took them out for a pizza recently - they loved it.

I'm not militant though - they had an ice-cream last weekend, they eat tonnes of salty olives, they had salami/chorizo the other day.

They only drink milk and water. They're not great on drinking water, so trying to encourage more of this.

My approach is to offer a range of healthy food, with some considered "unhealthy" food. I'm hoping as they grow-up and get more independent, they'll continue to eat everything, since now they like the taste of a broad range of food.

My lot only ate organic veg-home grown
the only reason is their grandad is a gardener and used to grow so much he fed most of his street-the joke was ‘if grandad doesn’t grow it,you won’t get to eat it’
ive never grown so much as a weed
(believe me,their fruit wasn’t organic)
they ate chocolate,sweets and crisps-along with healthy meals
it really is about balance
my eldest will tell you how abused she was because she tasted her first McDonald’s aged 9-I don’t like the food (I bloody work there now!)
it didn’t dawn on me to take them!

Everything has its place-my son went though a stage where he refused sweets
i explained to him that no food is ‘bad’
even eating too much ‘good’ food is bad for you if you eat enough of it
hes a gym bunny now but does allow himself a treat or two once a week