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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

little effort on my birthday

1 reply

unknown88x · 09/06/2022 06:58

bit of background, in our 40s busy lives but try & meet up every few months for a chat, food etc! group of 6 of us, been friends 20 + years…. my birthday is the same month as another girl in the group so tend to do something together (which i don’t mind).

usually we all pay for the birthday person (however with lockdown etc i’ve never revived this as in previous years we’ve gone on a night out etc …) went out for tea at the weekend, & paid for myself, no one offered …. now i understand that there is both me & my friend who’s birthday it is (3 weeks apart) but it was my actual birthday evening … but for me, if you’re going i’m going to pay for the birthday person every time for everyone else in the group then should i expect the same treatment?? we don’t exchange gifts so that payment for the food is a nice gesture… plus we went somewhere, where i’t only came to £20 each …

for me it’s not the payment it’s the gesture & i feel i’m within my rights to not put in for the birthday person in future!?? we’ve been to places where it’s come to more than £60 each & i’ve paid ..

OP posts:
RedWreck · 09/06/2022 07:03

YANBU but you're going to have to speak up. Send a group text along the lines of 'As I paid for myself on my birthday, I take it we aren't paying for birthday people's meals anymore '
They'll probably offer to pay & apologise but at least you'll get it out there.
Keeping it in will make you resentful, hopefully they're good friends otherwise?

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