Why won’t my 5 year old sleep

[Bearnecessities23]

So, my wonderful 5 year old DD is absolutely amazing up until the minute she goes to bed. She has started telling me she is ‘thinking of bad things’ but won’t tell me what they are. She also starts to ‘need’ things like a drink, toilet etc. last night she went to bed at 9pm and I really struggled waking her in the morning. She said she can’t sleep without somebody being with her. I don’t mind Being beside her whilst she goes off to sleep but am I really doing her any favours?

I would like some time to myself in the evening also 😩

Is it just getting to sleep the problem or does she wake through the night?
Is she having nightmares? I think they are common at about that age.

5 year olds can be devious little shits about bed time. Around that age I started "needing to go shut the curtains in my room" or "going to the toilet" once DD was in bed. Just for a few minutes then a quick check back (maybe a quick kiss and a cuddle) then night night I'm going to out the kettle on and have a cup of tea before I go to bed.

She usually sleeps through once asleep but it’s the getting there that is the problem. I dread bedtime as I have an 18 month old who is also not a great sleeper! I don’t want to force her to off on her own and make things worse? WWYD?

If she's waking quite late in the morning perhaps her whole body clock is off a couple of hours - eg if she wakes at 8am, she may not be ready to go to be at 7pm the way a child who wakes at 6am might. Try gradually waking her a bit earlier and gradually try to shift bedtime earlier - like 15 mins every 3 or 4 days.

Can she read to herself yet? DD1 is a nightmare for getting off to sleep (as am I, and so was my DM...). The things that helped, although not cured, for us was moving her bedtime a little bit later (counterintuitive, but tried on the advice of a CHUMS sleep workshop and it worked), and having her quietly read to herself all cosied up in bed for a bit before lights out. We made the extra time before sleep the reading time if that makes sense, so we didn't have to do anything extra ourselves, only come in at the new later bedtime for one last kiss and to turn the light out. It really calms her down and seems to clear her brain of all those pesky questions and worries that flood in the moment the lights go out. Before the changes, she had a bedtime of 7.30 but was falling asleep between 10 and 11pm. After the changes, bedtime was 8.15 and she was asleep between 9 and 10pm. She is 8yo now, but was 6 when we did the above.

I had some ‘bedtime’ sleep spray as a freebie that DSs liked. So I made some up cheaply with essential oils and water (in a cheap perfume spray bottle). It’s utterly placebo effect but if either DS can’t sleep I spray their pillow and they tend to nod off. Would something like that work?!

Audio book works well with one of mine. Youngest responded well to star chart with a treat at the end of the week with very set bedtime routine.