To think that actually, sometimes going and getting absolutely rat-arsed does help?

[ThreeonaHill]

I've had a shocking last few months and it's getting worse. I won't say why because my specific combination of circumstances would be quite outing, but it's a combination of a close bereavement, DC and another close relative's serious illness and some relationship problems.

Over the bank holiday I went out with a group of friends and had quite a lot to drink. I mean, I stayed upright and I didn't disgrace myself, but I was definitely a bit staggery. For a few hours life was good again.

I know it won't solve anything, but my issues aren't things that are going to be solved - the relationship thing is done with, but it's still sad and the other things will run their course and the outcome will be what it will be, I can't change anything, so a few hours escape from it all was a good thing in my book and I'm starting to think about who might keep me company while I do it again this weekend.

It can help but it's when you do it every night and on your own it can become a problem. I've had similar, a relationship breakdown leaving me alone with 2 children under 3, a bereavement and just crap life stuff. Having a night out and drink with mates can be good for you. I got so drunk at a hen do last week I literally cannot remember getting home! But I had a good time and I'm still laughing about some of the things I've been told I said!

Yes - once in a while letting loose can be great.

In my experience no but we're all different

I think a blow out is definitely needed sometimes you just get to a point with all the shit in life being so relentless the thought of just having a drunk head and no thoughts is so appealing . 2022 has been utter shite for me too

I'll keep you company.. I've got loads of stuff going on that I'd like to drink to forget about too.. where are we going?? And do any of you here want to come too??

Yes....it's a drug that's actually legal, fairly safe and readily available. Use it in moderation, or like me tonight, a bit much and all is well.
however, go in with a negative mind set and it doesn't end up well

If you're drinking to feel less sad you're kicking the can down the road.

Once in a while it's no bad thing to get sloshed with trusted friends...the alcohol helps step away from all the grinding responsibilities for a bit.

A blow out is good. But sometimes that escapism feeling you mention can become addictive and that's when problems arise. If it becomes too regular then alcohol will start impairing your sleep, mood, mental health and general well-being. I know, I've been there many times.

Sorry to sound boring. I love a good piss up as much as the next person especially when times are shit.

Not for me, but each to their own, l fight my battles head on, escaping reality can bring temporary relief, thats it.

How do you "fight the battle" of a bereavement and a child's serious illness?. I agree when there is something you can do, I'm very much one for dealing with it and taking action, but what action can I take here?

Yep, I find it helps😆…..the irony for me is I have digestive issues, all the advice says stay away from booze but I find it really helps (which implies that some of it in part is probably caused by stress and the alcohol (in moderation - I’ve had 2 small glasses of red this eve) works as a relaxant. Yep, i think letting loose in a safe environment and not going ott can be a useful tool!!

I love a big blow out!!

A fun memory to dine out on for a few weeks whilst wading through the shit that is life.

🤮

This was on Friday. I had one glass of wine with dinner on Sunday, but nothing else since. I do avoid drinking alone, but admit it does sometimes happen now I'm the only adult at home, but I do limit it to "a drink" rather than "drinking" iyswim. I only ever drink at weekends.

🤣 Temporary relief is as good as it's going to get for now, I'll take that.

I find a 'blow out' every now and again somehow resets me and I do feel better, and somehow (after the hangover is gone!) better able to work through what's going on - it releases the tension, as I've got older though the space between the times I do it gets longer and the amount I can tolerate less, so at least it's a cheap night 🤣.

I did though, a few years ago, get into the cycle because I felt so much better after a good night like that that I kept trying to recapture that because I felt shit and it had helped, and then ended up drinking quite often and not actually recapturing anything. I think because that first time was different and away from my normal routine and an escape from the crap for a while, it stood out as a way to feel better, but it wasn't just the alcohol, it was the company, the atmosphere, my mood etc that brought it all together and made it not only an escape but also unique too and that's why I felt better and I just got frustrated trying to keep doing that and then didn't actually process or deal with what was going on.
So I think it has it's place definitely, but for me I'm careful I don't use it as a crutch to avoid dealing with the issues making me feel that way.

I'm really sorry you're going through a tough time at the moment OP 💐

I think that you had a great night out and the escapism was much needed.

Go out again this weekend and you may find you drink a bit more to replicate the feeling.

You may get to the stage where you are chasing the feeling of escapism more and more, this is how addiction creeps up on people.

I'm not holier than thou, I drink. I also have a close family member who lost their life because they turned to drink to deal with the death of a parent. It started out as numbing the pain and ultimately over 15 years took over her life and she died from pancreatic cancer. She left two young children.

Obviously it's an extreme example but it does and can happen so my advice to you is to err on the side of caution and find another way to escape (drive to a big mountain, stand on the sea front and scream into the wind... Or whatever else you can think of).

Yep, some patches of my life have been really hard, but had some really good nights out in those periods with good friends - a few hours of escapism and also just having fun when you're having a hard time is good for the soul. A few nights out doesn't make someone likely to slide into dependency.

As someone who has several alcoholics in my family, I'd say it's probably not the best choice. However, as someone who is having an extremely horrible night with absolutely no way of escaping to get my head together, I'm saying fuck yes, I'm getting drunk tonight. It isn't the answer, I'll feel shite tomorrow, but I'm trying really not to implode, and a few stiff drinks are helping.

And I'm sorry for everything you're going through, @ThreeonaHill . Do you want to talk about it or would that make it worse?

Sounds like my idea of hell 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm with you. If I ever sat down and thought about it my life it's pretty shit, for a variety of inescapable reasons. Getting mullered here and there is definitely a nice reset when normal coping mechanism isn't working

All right, Mother Superior, calm down 🙄 No need for the side order of patronising judgment.

OP, the occasional evening of hedonism can be cathartic. It’s the company just as much as the drink - if you were drinking at home alone it would be miserable. But going out for a few drinks with friends and having a laugh can definitely do you good if it’s an occasional thing. Don’t come to rely on it, obviously, but most of us have a few drinks now and again.