Is it really my fault?

[PandaBrush]

Bit of a long one sorry

My son is 16 months old and quite big for his age, not chubby just really tall he's off the charts for his tallness and is in 2-3 size clothes.

He's meeting all of his development milestones apart from walking, he's never been able to stand up not even as a young baby, we try but he'll lift his feet off the ground and flat out refuse. We do try and encourage him but with him being so tall he can reach practically everything on our sofa and shelves where he can pull himself up so he has no motivation to stand up.

I spoke to the health visitor about it who said he was probably a bit lazy but to see a doctor so that's what I did today and I feel really deflated from the appointment.

I had an Asian doctor so I'm not sure if there was a language barrier but I went into the appointment and explained why I was there and he was like okay put him down I need to see him walk so I explained that's why I was there again because he couldn't walk so he said let me see him stand so I explained that he couldn't so the doctor said "well your his mum why can't he walk" and I was like I don't know, I explained we encourage it as much as we can and showed him exactly what he does when we try and get him to stand.

The doctor examined him and then said he should have been walking at 12 months old and I advised he's always been a little bit behind with his milestones but always got there but he's struggling with the walking and again the doctor said I'm his mum and I should know why he's not walking.

He did eventually refer us to a specialist but I just didn't expect to be blamed because like everyone I love my son and I've always tried to encourage his physical and mental development, his speech and motor skills are a bit above what he should be for his age (all babies are different anyway) and I left the appointment in tears because I already felt like a bit of a failure that my baby isn't walking but I don't know, is it really my fault? Is there more I can be doing?

Sorry about the rant I'm just feeling under the weather and was wondering what other people did for their late walkers.

I have three children who were all late walkers - fifteen, sixteen and eighteen months. According to our mothers, my husband and I were seventeen months old before we walked and my grandmother said my mother was also seventeen months before she walked. All perfectly normal. These types of milestones tend to run in families so it might well be that you or your husband were also late walkers. Try not to worry. Thirteen months is considered the average age for walking but an average is all it is - some babies take their first steps at nine months old while others, like my children and your little boy are much later. I have noticed that later walkers tend to have far fewer stumbles than the early walkers as if they have been watching and waiting until they know they can do it.

I don't think you interpreted it wrong at all OP. The way that some male doctors in particular speak to mothers is shocking.

I had a late and an early walker, my late one didn't do it till 18 months. She was too busy talking at me non stop.
As you said he can reach stuff without standing so he probably doesn't feel it's worth the effort 😀
See the specialist, but try not to worry.

My cousins baby was like this. Even at 19 months he had no interest whatsoever in being on his feet.

He's now in his 40s and is head of department as PE teacher at a secondary school. You are right to not worry, kids do things on their own terms and in their own time.

I would purposely leave things out of his reach though to encourage him. Preferably something you something you can say 'no that's not for you' to but that you don't really mind if he has (on that occasion), so maybe a few chocolate buttons or smarties..

When my younger daughter was little I knew two children her age who didn't walk until 18 months (one boy and one girl).

In both cases, the children concerned were very tall (and chunky) and I remember wondering at the time whether that had something to do with it - because they had more body to control than my daughter who was quite petite. Whatever the reason, it didn't hold them back for long.

My baby was like yours. He bun shuffled, was happy to sit and play with one thing for ages. His speech and fine motor is off the scale accomplished, but he didn’t walk until nearly 19 months and I was worried. He’s 2.5 now and his mobility is still not great. He can’t jump or run but we’ve seen specialists and they say he’s fine, so I’m encouraging him and letting him crack on. All the time he’s developing, don’t worry.

Grandson didn't walk til about 18 months - he was a big lump too!

My son was about 16 months when he started walking. He never crawled either - just lay on his back and pushed himself along with his feet. The walking came out of nowhere too - I was chatting with a friend on Skype, and he suddenly started doing laps of the room.

I've got three children and none of them were walking at 12 months. Two of them were by 14 months but my eldest was 18 months before he walked. So was I for that matter and I can walk perfectly normally now!

It's all a scale in my experience and it takes some longer than others. Don't panic, I would review again if he's not walking by two but don't worry just yet.

My late-walking son wasn't tall or heavy by the way, so I don't think that will be a factor.