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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours and Parking

47 replies

atomsgirl · 08/06/2022 21:02

There is a shortage of parking places in my estate.

I have two parking places (plus a garage). And as I am pretty much a hermit with not many friends, one parking spot is usually free. The only time the second parking spot is used is if workmen come round, a friend parks there (very rare), or I'm using it to do battle with the grass trying to grow between the block paving :D

My neighbour has one parking spot (plus a garage). She used to get her daughter (plus another daughter who doesn't live next door) to park on the grass in front of her house next to her parking spot. But she has decided that her daughters can't park on the grass anymore. The mum and daughter then juggle which car is on the outside with both squeezed in her one parking spot. When the second daughter visits (which is regular), one daughter will park up the road.

My neighbour has started to drop hints on using my usually free car parking space.

My neighbour comes across as quite nice most of the time. During covid lockdown, we swapped mobile numbers in case I got ill.

But regardless, I don't want anyone to park in one of my car parking spots on a long term basis (short term, I would be ok with it). I think it'll be a faff, has all the hallmarks of getting into something that will annoy me, and I think it could easily lead to 'fall outs'. It's also not lost on me that she wants to have her bit of grass instead of a car in front of her house, but then I get a car in front of mine.

On the other hand, if I leave my car parking spot free, I could fall out with my neighbour anyway as I'm not being 'neighbourly'. And she has shown kindness before.

Am I being unreasonable about this?

OP posts:
Iwantachange · 08/06/2022 21:06

I suppose you could consider renting it out to her, then it's a business arrangement with a contract rather than "just being neighbourly" so less likely to escalate and take the piss?

Campervangirl · 08/06/2022 21:20

I'd risk the fallout.
Dfil had this with the strip of land he owns between his and next doors drive, next doors DD started parking over the strip of land with one set of wheels on his drive.
He let it slide to be neighbourly but its been slowly driving him insane 🙄 especially as the DD now calls it her parking space. Dfil started parking his car further over so she couldn't get on but she now knocks and asks him to move his car as its in her space 😂
He's explained countless times that it's his land but she's not having any of it and he's too polite to push it so now he quietly seethes and mutters about it 😂

lassof · 08/06/2022 21:22

Don't do it. Been there. People just take the piss. It doesn't take long before a favour becomes an entitlement.

Snowflakes1122 · 08/06/2022 21:24

It starts with being nice, then they claim rights over said drive. Don’t go there.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 08/06/2022 21:30

Exactly what @Snowflakes1122 said.

do not do it. Remember if you sell - it could be a massive problem and just say it doesn’t fit with your future plans to let her.
she doesn’t need to know why those plans might be!

StoneofDestiny · 08/06/2022 21:36

Get penguin bollards on your spots for car security. I'd not get into any arrangement.

StoneofDestiny · 08/06/2022 21:37

I'd just say 'no, Ive known situations were arrangements like that led to difficulties down the line' and leave it at that.

FlissyPaps · 08/06/2022 21:37

YANBU.

Just because your neighbour comes across as kind, does not mean you owe her anything. Especially the use of a parking spot you own/are allocated to.

Don’t agree to it. Your circumstances in the future could change where you could use both the parking spots.

Your neighbour is just going to have to suck it up and let her DCs/friends/visitors park on the road where there is space.

Forestgate · 08/06/2022 21:40

Don't do it. Can you get some nice planters for that area green it up?

atomsgirl · 08/06/2022 21:44

Thank you very much for all your comments - and it has been a huge help to see your perspectives.

I think the idea of doing something with that space by adding greenery is a good one! I think a trip to the garden centre may be in order.

OP posts:
VerifiedBot2351 · 08/06/2022 21:44

Are your two parking spaces together? Can you park across both?

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/06/2022 21:48

I think that the gratitude that your neighbour would initially feel from you doing this FAVOUR for her would quickly be replaced by a sense of entitlement to your parking space.

I wouldn't do it.

HanSB · 08/06/2022 21:50

Hire it out to her or someone else if you don't use it - use one of those websites so there's a record of it

Forestgate · 08/06/2022 21:54

This looks great! Could make plants low so someone could still park if needed (tyre's either side of plants)

Neighbours and Parking
ivykaty44 · 08/06/2022 22:01

I wouldn’t get involved if someone hints

ive got an extra drive and have offered it to neighbours when it’s needed - they have used it for that period and stopped

but this would be ongoing and when would it stop

if she hints again say oh I looked into it but my house insurance doesn’t cover any accidental damage etc if you park there so it’s not worth a falling out if something went wrong

Vecna · 08/06/2022 22:05

Gratitude would turn to entitlement. Then when you need it, she'll feel aggrieved, youll feel uncomfortable. And what when she allows a tradesman to park a big ugly van there, or a car with an oil leak?

Your instincts are right. Put something pretty there.

SlatsandFlaps · 08/06/2022 22:10

Campervangirl · 08/06/2022 21:20

I'd risk the fallout.
Dfil had this with the strip of land he owns between his and next doors drive, next doors DD started parking over the strip of land with one set of wheels on his drive.
He let it slide to be neighbourly but its been slowly driving him insane 🙄 especially as the DD now calls it her parking space. Dfil started parking his car further over so she couldn't get on but she now knocks and asks him to move his car as its in her space 😂
He's explained countless times that it's his land but she's not having any of it and he's too polite to push it so now he quietly seethes and mutters about it 😂

Get him some huge rocks to put there! 🪨 Then have the deeds printed off and by the door for when she knocks. Please don't let her get away with this

Blossomtoes · 08/06/2022 22:13

I’m clearly a complete pushover because it wouldn’t occur to me not to allow someone else to benefit from something I wasn’t using. I find the idea totally alien.

Please don’t bother piling in on me. We’re all different.

pictish · 08/06/2022 22:13

Agree that gratitude soon becomes expectation. Next thing you know, you need the space for something and she’s put out when you ask her to move. Annoying!

ivykaty44 · 08/06/2022 22:19

Blossomtoes

i like to share but sometimes with some people I get a feeling they might take it to far

as you say we are all different, including the CFers

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 08/06/2022 22:21

@Blossomtoes and I bet you wouldn’t take the p either if using something belonging to someone else. Sadly you are a dying breed, a nice, caring, thoughtful person. Long May you live!! (To be clear this isn’t a ‘pile
on’).
life would certainly be easier if everyone could just get along without entitlement or greed, but unfortunately the world and people generally don’t. I suspect most of us are writing from having had to deal with cf and are hoping to stop someone else being a sucker too.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/06/2022 22:24

Campervangirl · 08/06/2022 21:20

I'd risk the fallout.
Dfil had this with the strip of land he owns between his and next doors drive, next doors DD started parking over the strip of land with one set of wheels on his drive.
He let it slide to be neighbourly but its been slowly driving him insane 🙄 especially as the DD now calls it her parking space. Dfil started parking his car further over so she couldn't get on but she now knocks and asks him to move his car as its in her space 😂
He's explained countless times that it's his land but she's not having any of it and he's too polite to push it so now he quietly seethes and mutters about it 😂

Your fil should let them know that they don’t have permission to park there or even print off the deeds and let them know he is putting up a fence. Give it long enough and they’ll have a right to park in the space.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/06/2022 22:25

Are you saying you have an extra space instead of grass? They could do the same to their drive, couldn’t they?

Forestgate · 08/06/2022 22:26

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/06/2022 22:25

Are you saying you have an extra space instead of grass? They could do the same to their drive, couldn’t they?

Oh yes! True!!

2MinuteRice · 08/06/2022 22:46

We had something similar with a neighbour parking outside our garage. We have 2 but one is at the back where we don't use it.
Came to an agreement with the neighbour and they now pay £50 a month to park there.
I know this is probably unusual though!