To ask for tips on integrating baby with relative’s dog

[ConkerGame]

We’re going on a UK holiday with my in-laws in a couple of weeks, in a holiday home. We all get on well and I’m looking forward to it.

However I’m a bit nervous about one thing - DD will be 12 weeks old and it will be the first time she meets SIL and BIL’s dog (who is coming on the holiday too). She’s a “friendly” 2 year old cockapoo who is sweet natured but doesn’t have the best discipline. SIL and BIL are very soft on her and see her as their “baby”. She’s jumped up at me a few times before they tell her to get down.

I don’t have much experience with dogs and I really want the holiday to be a success. I know MN can get quite polarised about dogs but I’m looking for some sensible, practical, non-dramatic advice on how to handle the situation so that my baby is kept safe without banishing the dog from the house entirely (not going to happen!). Needless to say the baby will never be left unattended at any point.

Also please feel free to tell me if I’m worrying for no reason!

TIA!

As long as baby is never left unattended you will be fine. At 12 weeks baby isn’t going to be moving around so you won’t need to worry too much. I would bring a travel playpen and a baby gate so if you do want a safe space for baby to sit on mat and play you have it. I would hope your SIL and BIL would be happy enough for baby gate on the living room door and dog in dog bed outside it but if they are unreasonable about it you can then use the playpen. At bare minimum they should be happy for dog to not be allowed on the furniture so it wouldn’t get that close to the baby then. I have a cockapoo who is my baby but he is a dog after all so I’d have no issue in him being outside a baby gate as long as he can see us and has his bed he would be ok!

The baby and the dog should ideally never be in the same room at the same time.

I suppose if that cannot be done then the baby must either be in your or your DHs arms at all times and kept physically separate from the dog. Do not for example, sit with baby on the sofa and let the dog jump onto the sofa with you. The dog should stay on the floor. Never put the baby down while the dog is in the room unless in a high sided cot the dog cannot jump into or jump up and overturn…even if you are there and watching because these things can happen too fast to stop the dog. Don’t let the dog sniff/lick the baby or get close even if you’re holding the baby. Keep at least a full 1m distance between them at all times.

We had a lovely sweet natured dog when my youngest two were babies and the dog was kept well away from the babies while they were babies. Normally outside while the baby was downstairs or separated by a stair gate. Or baby was in a pram (big high substantial pram)

The baby and the dog should ideally never be in the same room at the same time

this is a bit dramatic if dog and baby are accompanied by 6 adults also in the room.

agreed re not having baby on the couch with dog however.

Our lively little dog isn't allowed anywhere near the baby. She likes children but she's a dog so who really can say what she'll do in every situation.

She's allowed in the room with the baby but she's kept on the lead at a distance. That way they can slowly and safely get used to each other.

She's fine with this arrangement.

Forgot to say, this isn't our baby but a grandchild so the dog isn't permanently tethered indoors.

With a 12 week old, the dog never gets between the supervising person and the baby. That doesn’t mean there can’t be a very closely supervised introductory sniff, but the dog should never have a chance to get to the baby before the adult.

if the adults want to be able to relax occasionally, baby gates or a lead really are a good idea. If the ILs get precious about it, remind them it’s not just about protecting the baby, it’s about protecting the dog. A new place that is a little too crowded and has this tiny creature in it is going to be a stressful place for an animal. One tiny mistake could have dire consequences for the dog. They shouldn’t set their beloved pet up to fail, they should provide him with safe boundaries.

We have a newborn and a 1 year old dog. I’m not sure where the logic is of posters who say that dog and baby shouldn’t be in the same room in the situation you describe…

Keeping the dog on a lead until it’s been well introduced and using a play pen and baby gates are good ideas so you can have them separate when needed e.g. to do tummy time. Also can you wear baby in a sling for periods of time/introductions?

We introduced on a lead with a relative as a third pair of hands and let the dog have a good sniff (but no licking and nowhere near the face) so baby didn’t become something forbidden because I truly believe that would have made him far more interested. Prior to this had worked on all the basic commands, ‘gentle’ and ‘leave it’ so he knows these will and responds. Ask what commands they use to instruct their dog.

Also get a stash of new toys and motivating treats that can be used as a distraction.

Can you meet with the dog prior to the holiday? A slow introduction may be best if possible.

It's a very good point that separation is also in the dog's best interests.

As the baby grows, he or she will be rough and clumsy. You don't want a situation where the baby unintentionally hurts/frightens the dog and you get a reactive dog.

It's easy to sell the idea of safe separation if you stress the benefits for the dog.

Personally I wouldn’t be happy about having a new baby in the same house as an undisciplined dog, especially when it’s a new environment for the dog. However, if it must happen then I would keep them at a safe distance.
You’ll be very upset if the dog gets over excited or anxious and jumps up at the baby.

Given the lack of discipline, I would not want my 12wo baby in the same room as the dog.