To dislike people staying in my house?

[aboutamum]

Bare with me while I paint the picture....

I've recently moved, in the last 6 weeks.

Since moving, my dear sister has asked to stay for 4 weeks before she leaves to work in Australia, and my dad is coming to stay (I have no idea how long for)

My father sold the house and moved abroad 6 years ago. I've been to see him 3 or 4 times. I've not seen him for 2-3 years.

Basically I've had to learn to live alone (with DD who's 5 now) do everything on my own. I've a difficult relationship with my mother, she left us when we were small. My dad raised us.

I've had severe depression since the year my dad left and since I became a mother. I've learnt to live with it in my own way.

Im anxious to say the least about my family members staying with me one after the other. The house is no where near ready, and as soon as it is people are coming to stay. My sister wants me to go on holiday with her in 3 weeks and leave DD with Dad at my house.

I don't want to go away right now. My sister keeps on at me that I need a break.

Also whenever she is with me she is really pressurising about my diet. I don't eat a lot, history of eating disorder that if you have any experience of you know it never truly goes away. She actually full on shouted at me in the car the other day in front of DD saying I don't look after myself and I need to eat more. If I refuse offer of food she rolls her eyes at me and gets angry. I can't take a month of that! I do eat little and often and it's usually the same thing. I am also guilty of skipping meals. I have an intense fear of gaining weight. I eat but in my own way that is manageable.

I'm just worried about my sister and then my father coming to stay with me, and how this will effect me.

Am I being unreasonable?

Have you previously started threads about this?

If you don’t want people staying in your house, … just say no?

You've got to stand up for yourself and tell them no. Your family can only stomp all over your boundaries if you allow it.

l dont have anyone staying at my house, ever, and thats just how it is. Like you l have my own routine, my older sons have theirs, l just can' t be doing with having to adapt my way of life to accomodate someone elses. l dont have a tv, l hardly sit down, l kind of potter and spend a lot of time outdoors on my garden and tending to my pets. l also eat little and often, its how its always been, so l don't worry re cooking a big dinner, we all see to ourselves, my downstairs area looks like a gym as my sons work out.
Just learn to say "No thankyou, wouldn' work for me" the more you say it the easier it becomes.

Ran a search and noting else appears, plus to learn more, what does asking if the op had a previous thread achieve ?

I know it can seem daunting saying "NO" to people, but what's worse....suffering a bad reaction from them to you saying "NO", or having to actually have people visiting you for so long? Just say the house isn't ready for visitors and you're too tired to host for weeks on end.

There was a thread not long ago about an OPs sister who was going to stay at her house before she went traveling … & the sister asked OP to take a holiday with her but OP didn’t want to go and leave DC.

The OP got lots of advice, so was just wondering if it was the same poster, as the situations sound identical. Don’t think there’s any harm in asking is there? OP can say “yes it’s me” or “no not me”