Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find playing with my toddler really boring?

73 replies

Strategist · 08/06/2022 13:51

I really enjoy taking him out to places, so we generally go out somewhere every morning on the 5 days a week I'm home with him. I enjoy watching Disney films together and ready books together. I like playing games like chasing him, peekaboo etc. I just find sitting and playing with toys with him so, so dull. I'm not good at imaginative play, and (probably as a result) neither is he. He doesn't have any siblings so he looks to me as his only play partner, and I just hate it. Time literally crawls. But I know this sort of 1:1 play time is so important for his development. Any tips to make it more bearable?

OP posts:
PleasantBirthday · 08/06/2022 13:54

Nope. it's just incredibly boring. Things are a bit different for me because I'm just terrible at imaginative play but my child is brilliant at it. I've tried but I just get so, so bored. And frustrated, especially when she says "and pretend you didn't say that, Mammy, pretend you said this instead" .

I'd happily pay someone else, almost anyone else, to do it for me.

Sarah13xx · 08/06/2022 13:57

No but just lol at this 😂 I’m an infant teacher and now a mum and totally feel you. I spend my entire day faking an interest in what kids have made out of lego or acted delighted at being handed a plastic plate with a plastic muffin for the tenth time that afternoon. It’s so tiring 🙈 Kids can play on their own though so don’t feel that you need to be doing EVERYTHING. Going out all those days also sounds a lot, you’re doing amazing to be doing that so I really wouldn’t worry if you sit and have a coffee while he plays for half an hour. Do you have any friends with kids a similar age that could come over to play with him?

Caspianberg · 08/06/2022 13:59

Nope. I just don’t do it.

I don’t think they need to be played with every minute of the day, so that kind of play I leave him to do alone.

We go out everyday, go places, do things. Garden together, bake, crafts, building blocks and duplo, read. So I think he’s fine to occupy himself with pretend ice cream parlour alone 15 mins whilst I make dinner.

tokyotea · 08/06/2022 14:02

Oh gosh it's mind numbingly boring. You're not alone in this Smile

ofwarren · 08/06/2022 14:09

Caspianberg · 08/06/2022 13:59

Nope. I just don’t do it.

I don’t think they need to be played with every minute of the day, so that kind of play I leave him to do alone.

We go out everyday, go places, do things. Garden together, bake, crafts, building blocks and duplo, read. So I think he’s fine to occupy himself with pretend ice cream parlour alone 15 mins whilst I make dinner.

Same, I've never done it either

WTF475878237NC · 08/06/2022 14:10

Have you read any parenting books to get some ideas about how to develop your own imagination and help your child in this area? It's important not to avoid it because you hate it but you're not alone in finding it dull!

rwalker · 08/06/2022 14:16

Nice that someone is refreshingly honest . I think different people like different stages some babies ,toddler and teens .

LeFeu · 08/06/2022 14:20

No YANBU at all. I hate imaginary play but love baking, reading, outdoor adventures, swimming, craft, so do all that and leave them to play barbies or tea parties or mummies and daddies or whatever without me. As long as you spend some time in meaningful interaction with your kids you don’t have to do everything with them!

10HailMarys · 08/06/2022 14:23

How much do you actually need to play with him? It sounds like he has lots of interaction with you - you take him out, read to him, watch films with him and play active games with him like chasing etc. I don't think you necessarily need to play loads with toys and so on with him. He will need to get used to playing on his own, so can you perhaps set up him and get him started with his favourite things to play with and then just keep an eye on him and join in occasionally?

I think there are lots of kids who aren't that into imaginative type play so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Elpheba · 08/06/2022 14:24

Agree it’s so so so boring and also agree that you don’t have to do it! Yes, 1:1 interaction is massively important but that can be baking, puzzles, drawing, board games, reading which means you can veto playing cats without feeling remotely guilty! Playing is their job, not ours and whilst I occasionally did it when they were 2/3 they know I do “activities” now and playing is mostly up to them. Have a look online for toys/games you can set up which will lure them in to play independently. Like laying out dolls, doctors kit and some real plasters. Or setting out some kinetic sand and trucks. Once they get going then they’re usually good at playing solo.
Otherwise you’ll end up playing cops and robbers with a 6 year old and still pulling your hair out!

Inkyblue123 · 08/06/2022 14:27

🤣🤣 I limit it to half an hour a day - but mines at day care so she gets plenty of guided play there.

BorisJohnsonatemyhampster · 08/06/2022 14:27

Nope YANBU at all. I hated it so would pal up with people so I wouldn’t be on my own all day. Then I got into a nannyshare with a nanny who was basically Mary Poppins so DC got to do all of that stuff with someone who genuinely enjoyed it.

DCs are healthy, happy and one is about to go to a selective secondary school so it worked out. I make zero apologies for outsourcing things I don’t like. Some people are good at this stuff and some people just aren’t.

BorisJohnsonatemyhampster · 08/06/2022 14:30

Also I genuinely don’t remember my DM ‘playing’ with me ever. I’m in my 40s. As kids were were fed, kept clean, taught manners and safety and we played with our friends at nursery, school or on the street. We’re all fine.

SVRT19674 · 08/06/2022 14:35

I don´t like it all the time, especially when I want to watch something on tv. But, i was good at it as a kid so can get into it. And these times will fly and I know i will miss parts of her being three and this wild imagination of hers.

Fritilleries · 08/06/2022 14:42

Give yourself a focus. Take lego. Focus on colours. Make a red model. A blue model. A yellow model. Then focus on small, medium and large. You could count the blocks. Read a book and relate it to the lego eg use animal figures to retell the story of 3 little pigs etc. Make houses for them... if you have lots of cars then sort by colour, imagine which you would drive and describe why. Set up a farm with play animals and make pens from lego. We don't have many toys, just the "bits" which they can build eg wooden blocks, duplo, sticky bricks and so on. We also have a box of random figures and small peoples to create scenarios.

I get bored too, which is why I try 15 minutes "on" and then leave them alone to carry on. Their development of focus is therefore promoted.

If all else fails, build a den.

Fritilleries · 08/06/2022 14:46

If you look at the eyfs descriptors you can base activities around it. Eg math counting up to 10, telling number stories. Talking about seasons in the garden, describing animals. Looking at torches and sources of light, making shadows.... the limit is your willingness to investigate.

Butteryflakycrust83 · 08/06/2022 14:52

My mum NEVER did that sort of play with me, but I remember having a great time playing by myself with my dolls.

Independent play is also a super important skill and sounds like your smashing it in all other areas so I would let him crack on without you!

ticktickticktickBOOM · 08/06/2022 14:57

Borrow another toddler.
Seriously.
They'll play for hours then, great for their development and the parent will love you and might even reciprocate - win:win!

Crackercrazy · 08/06/2022 15:01

I didn’t particularly enjoy it either! I remember being invited to my DD’s nursery friend. I went expecting to sit and natter with friends mum, while the girls played together but no, it was a full on play session! We never went back 😂

pinkhipposgoswimming · 08/06/2022 15:03

Yeah well you should do it. It's actually very important for language development. I'm sure it's recommended that you do 15 minutes a day (no distractions like Tv or phone on.) But yes too much is very dull. I find those rainy days in dragggggg on. We can literally do everything in the house and then well what do you do tomorrow. Activities like baking or going out are quite different and I find them much easier.

Wish I could find the source for the play recommendation, I think it was speech course I took.

BorisJohnsonatemyhampster · 08/06/2022 15:07

‘Borrow another toddler.
Seriously.
They'll play for hours then, great for their development and the parent will love you and might even reciprocate - win:win!’

This.

Natsku · 08/06/2022 15:22

Hate it, its so boring (and its weird because I was amazing at imaginary play and carried it on way past the age that its usually acceptable... but can't stand playing imaginary games with children) so I did it as little as possible, much prefer to play a game of chase or hide and seek or build something with legos (DS is 4 now so getting into this stuff which is better). I limit it to a quick play before nap time or bedtime. I'm all for encouraging independent play!

KarenOLantern · 08/06/2022 15:29

Wait, who said we need to be doing this stuff with our kids?! Seriously, is that a thing? Because no one told me so I haven't been doing it. I play chase and peekaboo and throwing her in the air and stuff, and play along when she pretends to make me a cup of tea. But when it comes to playing with toys, if I sit down with her then I end up (say) building my own little house out of lego while she plays with whatever she wants to play with, so I'm not actually playing with her. To my mind, there are games children play with adults, games they play alone, and games they play with other kids.

CP191989 · 08/06/2022 15:40

I read that you shouldn’t lead imaginative play because its best for children to develop it doing it themselves and that actually it’s ok to just leave them to play I do every other sort of playing but when it comes to playing with her figures or play sets I leave her to it and i potter about and just join in when she wants me to

Ringshanks · 08/06/2022 15:47

Try putting Radio 4 or an audiobook on quietly in the background, I find I can actively interact with my 18 month old for ages if I have adult voices too !