To think was probably cruel and was probably the start of my body dysmorphia?

[Hearfreedomcalling]

From a very young age I remember my mother and older sister making fun of my stomach or “pot belly” - literally remember them drawing a face on it laughing and giving my stomach a name.

I’ve had weight issues my entire life. I remember weighing myself multiple times a day in primary school. Feeling very self conscious when the girls in my class wore crop tops because my stomach didn’t look like theirs.

Am I being too sensitive? My weight issues as an adult are my own issues and I’m accountable for being overweight. I just think as a child as young as 7 pointing out weight (I was 6 stone) is pretty cruel

YANBU, that's a terrible thing to do to a child.

Have you thought about asking both of them (separately), why they did that?

It may help you get some closure.

That's very sad. Some people can be very cruel without meaning to be but that's still just no excuse. 💐

OP I feel exactly the same. As a child I was called Fatty by my brother, Seven Bellies by my Dad, Fairy Elephant by Mum. All of this was "said with love" apparently. 30 years on I struggle every day with my weight. Anorexia as a teen, massve weight gain in my 30s, massive weight loss, diet pills and bulimia. That is not all down to the comments, its about my own perception of how I look but I cannot imagine making comments like that to youngster whether male or female.

yanbu.
My ED definitely stem from childhood and the obsession with weight and "health" in my family. I've never been overweight and in my early twenties lived on 500 calories a day. Being "thin" is highly praised and there's lots of competitive under eating. It's really fucked me up for life sadly, I'll always struggle not to obsess and now have BD and over exercise to the point of pain. Sigh.

No you're not being too sensitive. You were made to feel bad about your body at a formative age by people you trusted. No wonder you have body image problems. Xx

Exactly this. I think if I ever brought it up then I’d be met with very confused looks because it’s a joke. They’d never understand:

I cAn pinpoint the start of my body image issues and subsequent spiral into bulimia op - my mum projecting her own fat-issues on to me, when I was 8! I was a normal kid perfectly normal size but she told me I was 'well built' when I asked her to help me describe myself in a project. When I didn't understand what she meant, she explained in meant 'chunky'.

I wasn't. I was utterly normal but it was absolutely a pivotal point in my self awareness.

So no you're not being too sensitive. It's completely understandable that you feel the way you do.

Comments said to children can affect them for life, it's all very well adults making light of it, but they are seeing it with their adult brains.
I hope you are getting support for your issues, as left alone can manifest into huge problems. Good luck.

Fairy elephant here too, and fatty catty, great hefting lump, treetrunk legs, big nose, endless list and it sticks.

This happened to me when I was a child.

I was regularly told I had a pretty face but it's a shame about my body.

My siblings were vile to me.

My parents decided I was too fat when I was 8 and sent me into a weight management programme at our GP surgery. I was allowed 2 slices of cold meat for breakfast, 1/2 a sandwich for lunch and 3 spoonfuls of rice with 4 spoonfuls of sauce for tea. No snacks. I was also sent to high energy classes x5 a week. At home I had to sit on an exercise bike for 30 minutes each morning while having cold meat and for 30 minutes after school. I was exhausted and starving which made my behaviour worse (additional needs) I remember sneaking spoonfuls of flour because it was the only thing in the cupboard I could access. While they all sat and had treats and lovely dinners, I was served my 3 spoonfuls of rice/pasta/1 slice of potato and 3 spoonfuls of sauce.

I have never made comments about my childrens height or weight and have never smacked them because of how I was treated. My cupboards are full just incase anyone gets hungry at any point. I feel like I compensate for the fact that I couldn't eat anything.

They discovered I was starving myself when I was 15/16 and my dad forcefed cold meat down my throat. I vomited it back up again and I was fed more. Screamed at, called an embarrassment and selfish for putting the family through that.

Oh you poor thing how awful.

I hope you have reduced contact with your family now. Remember you are worth a million of them x

What an appalling thing to say and do to a small child.

I'm so sorry your family treated you badly.

That's absolutely horrifying, I'm so sorry you went through all that. Likewise you OP. I can't understand how people can be so cruel. YANBU. Like a PP said, comments like that can stay with you for life. Are you able to access any help to overcome the feelings that you have about yourself?

I don’t know - some of the things on this thread are clearly abusive but on the other hand children are fat today in the main, and it’s hard to know what one ought to do about it. I went through a chubby phase and everyone laughed and joked about it but it was just called puppy fat/two brothers were a bit fat for a time and again we laughed and joked and now 3/4 of us are all slim (and the one who isn’t gained huge amounts of weight during his marriage so I doubt it’s related to childhood joking). I don’t think it’s right either to just ignore a child or teenager being fat. There are countless threads on here of parents unwilling to say anything although their methods are not working, or being in denial.

Oh me too but mine is my bum, it has always stuck out and is the first place weight goes. I remember an Aunt taunting me and the girls in school. 30 years later and I'm in therapy for body dysmorphia as my relationship with food and my body has led to a lifetime of low self esteem - this has massively impacted my relationships and life in general. It's really hard for me to feel any peace with my body.

I am nc with my siblings and I did have a relationship with my parents until summer last year when I decided enough was enough and went lc. I feel good for it.

I was not overweight as a child, I did have a bit of puppy fat on my tummy before growth spurts but I was not an overweight child. They said they thought it was what was best for me and I'm imagining some of the other things but I'm really not. they were cruel and saw me crying with hunger all the time which made my brother and sister worse because not only was I fat, I was a crybaby. I couldn't win.

My brother and sister were very slim and I wasn't in comparison but when I was 8, I was wearing age 8 clothes.

You are exactly the right level of sensitive for you. There is no set 'correct' level of sensitivity.

If anybody's company/behaviour/words make you feel over sensitive, then they are too clumsy with your feelings for your preference and you are too sensitive for their preference. Stay away from this feeling.

Accepting that you are as sensitive as you are is a big step towards self respect: your sensitivity makes you beautiful, but you do have to protect yourself.

All well and good, but when you're a child you simply can't protect yourself. That's the point of all of this.

OP isn't a child, and is asking if she's too sensitive, @CandyLeBonBon

She's talking about how this all stemmed from her childhood.

Yes, Candy, I have read it, thank you.

Yanbu, that was very cruel and anything said to you about looks or weight at a young age stays with you forever.

My mum has mental health issues and one time when I was younger she was in a bad mood one day and my dad made a stupid joke about putting a plastic bag over my head as it would make me look better. We were messing about with a plastic bag at the time, and my dad makes meaningless jokes like that a lot so that actually didn't bother me knowing him. Until... my mum, as serious as anything, smirked and said "yes I think it would". I have serious self-confidence issues about my looks now, and I'll never forget that.

She is a narcissist so she'd either deny it or say I was being too sensitive if confronted.

Then perhaps dial down the sanctimony

There has been none.

Have you anything else for OP or are you just here for me now? I didn't come here to say what you think I ought to say.

Sorry for the derail, OP.

Another fairy elephant here - took me 30 years to learn I was not fat and clumsy. It also helped to find out that my short waistedness means that even at my thinnest I will never have a flat stomach. Doesnt make me fat. But boy did it take a lot of getting over.