Is it unreasonable to be pissed off with DH?

[SmokingOne]

About smoking?

Not sure whether I'm being totally unreasonable here or not but I am really pissed off.

Many moons ago, my husband started smoking (he didn't when we met), he got really bad at one point and would be going out to smoke in our garden every hour or so. He eventually agreed to quit when I said I didn't really like it and was worried about his health. That was years ago now.

I found out a few days ago that he's started again but he's been lying and trying to hide it from me.

AIBU to be annoyed? Firstly because of the lying. And secondly because I don't want him smoking again, not heavily like he used to especially. We have children now, I don't want them being around it and him smoking like a chimney at home all the time like he used to.

I just think WHY!! He'd given up for ages!

I know it's his body, his choice ect.. which is where my AIBU comes in I guess, it's his choice but am I reasonably allowed to be pissed off and tell him so? He knows I'm not happy about it.

Just to add I've smoked before in my teen years/ very early twenties so I've been through the whole giving it up thing.

YANBU. I couldn't kiss a smoker.

There's the money too!!

Has he explained why he started smoking? Is there something he would prefer to spend that money on that you could use as a carrot?

YANBU that would be my hill. After watching Someone die of cancer I refuse to do it again when it's self inflicted. It's the most horrific thing ever. How we allow people to suffer like that.

It would be the deceit that would be the clincher for me!

Yes I got really upset last time worrying about this, it's why he originally stopped.

Re the money, we are very fortunately not having to worry about money too much these days so it's not really this that is bothering me as much as the other things, his health and our children.

You are absolutely allowed to be very pissed off indeed and it would be a deal breaker for me.

I grew up with two heavy smoking parents, one of whom has now died from the results and the other of whom is still resolutely smoking away every two minutes.

It is my mother who is still around, failing health and mobility issues. I visit her once a month and can only come away reeking of cigarettes.

I love her and love her company, but I hate the cigarettes.

Pour him a cup of poison. Ask him to drink it! No! Of course he wouldn’t drink it so why do people smoke?

Must be like kissing an old astray apart from the money in these challenging times.
What a turn off.
I’m afraid it’s going to be hard work getting him to stop. It’s such a pungent smell and so avoidable. I hope he sees the light and will give up again.

I'm sorry to hear you lost one of your parents due to this.

This sort of thing is what really gets me, I don't get why he'd risk not being around for our kids for the sake of a fucking fag. I don't get it. Not after he'd quit for so long!