To do NO housework or mental load work on my new days off

[AlternateFri]

... not really an AIBU, I know I am definitely not being U!

Just got my hours switched at work to work 10 days over 9 to have every other Friday off.

Have told DP and DC I'll be doing no housework.

What would you do on a free day to yourself every fortnight??

All the posters saying YABU are just jealous.

If your DH is jealous too then tell him to negotiate a similar flexible working arrangement e.g. reduced hours or compressed hours.

I'm on a 4 day week and never going back. Despite the amount of passive aggressive nonsense comments I deal with! Thankfully my DH is supportive and I'm encouraging him to consider negotiating the same when he wants to.

Go for it, never go back, and enjoy your well earned time to do whatever you fancy!

I'm thinking of applying for a 9 day Fort night too, and tempted to keep schtum about it at home as I know DP will be jealous and probably think it reasonable if I spent a couple of hours on chores.

I have lots of ideas for what I would do, but suspect I'd end up dozing and binge watching shite, which would be a waste.

Anyway, ideally I'd write my novel 📖 read lots and visit historical houses, go swimming, go horse riding and a bit of gardening.

I'm quite surprised by these responses. I do longer hours over 4 days and have one day off a week. That day is used for housework so we have weekends free to do family stuff. It doesn't sit right with me having a day to do nothing on my day off then use weekends for housework.

I have Fridays off and it goes super fast! I normally go straight to the gym after drop off for a class then get home and have something to eat. Then a quick tidy up then then a lovely bath. Then an hour or two to read or watch tv or walk the dog before leaving for pick up.

I work shifts so sometimes I get four days off in a row but sometimes work 7 days on, one day off, three day on, one day off...so it all works out to be two days off a week (dunno if I explained that properly!).

I watch all the TV I've missed on the Sky box. I go out for bike rides. I walk a bit. I sometimes go to a local museum, or window-shopping. I rarely meet a colleague at the pub. But I dedicate at least one day a week to housework!

My DH works condensed hours and I make him spend his 'extra day off' a week doing house work/a list of jobs.

My argument is that he gets two days off a week when the kids are in school. I get zero days off a week without the kids.

If you're still working full time hours but over longer days, it's not reasonable to expect you to pick up all the household stuff in that one day- it would only be fair if your partner picked up half the household chores on the days when you work longer.

I do take on all the cleaning/ washing/ household stuff/ most gardening, but I work part time, so I try and get all that done while everyone else is at work/school.

How about prioritising your health/ fitness and doing a gym class/ yoga/ swimming?

I have found that it helps to have some structure, or I just end up wasting the day which feels criminal when I have so little free time (even though in theory it's my time to waste). I write a rough list, even though the list is mostly made up of fun stuff (and exercise)

I think it does depend on whether your longer days mean your partner has to do more. My DH wanted to do condensed hours, but I was against it as he'd have been getting home after 7 most nights, which would mean I'd have to do every dinner & clearing up, while juggling kids activities & then he'd get a lovely day off and I wouldn't get any benefit. We compromised on both just cutting our hours instead, the extra time was worth more than the cash.

Good point, I agree with you.

What finally tipped me over into requesting the change of work pattern is I realised I was already working the "long" day, or even longer, every day for 10 days a fortnight. I'll not work any extra now but I will take the benefit of the fortnightly non working day.

It won't impact DP and I doing close enough to 50/50 childcare, housework. If anything he will just notice I am a bit less frazzled some of the time.

Also he gets school holidays with his job and I get 25 days a year AL.

But this means your partner is getting an extra day off in terms of housework. That must sit fine with them..

YA definitely NBU
Enjoy it!

I work 4 days a week, I also get school holidays off. I don't have a hard and fast rule about what I will and won't do on my day off. Sometimes having some head space to do the mental load stuff with no one around is useful, housework is generally not high on my list though! I use it for personal appointments, catch ups, my work that I have to do outside of work to stop me having to work evenings and weekends.

On the whole I do all after school childcare (coordinate childminder, after school clubs etc), husband drops off in the morning, I also cover the vast majority of holiday care, odd days I need help on.

I had a brief period of working compressed hours & used it to do crap housework that I normally wouldn’t bother with. It was nice to open the utensil drawer & not see crumbs from a month ago lurking at the bottom. Or not see the late afternoon sun showing the finger-marks on the fridge.
I also fitted in stuff like chiropodist etc.
Now I’m back to 5 days pw & although I could finish at 16.00 sometimes, I CBA with the crumbs as I’m knackered by then. Instead I have a nap before cooking dinner but am slightly bothered by the drawer flotsam & jetsam.

It’s swings & roundabouts. Just do what works for you.

That’s extremely reasonable. I’d probably fit a bath in before the trip to the cafe.

I work 4 full days - so part time. Unfortunately my evenings are spent doing the written aspects of my work, as I spend all my day/paid hours travelling to clients, seeing clients, and attending meetings. This means no time for housework on work days. Assuming you must be working longer days to get your extra day off, if still full-time, when will you fit in housework OP? If you feel there will still be time on the longer work days, I would definitely have a day to do what ever I wanted. Reading, walking, gym, a regular pilates class, seeing my friends and family who don't work,watching films. The list could go on and on. I wonder if I should drop to 3 days 🤔

Go for a long run or hike
Have lunch with a friend or make a nice meal at home of stuff i like but don't cook
Read with a cup of tea or go to the cinema

I was pretty gobsmacked when I worked out what the different hours would be.

Normal full time is 9-5 WFH, "agile working" which means you can be flexible and fit in schools runs, personal appointments and things by working earlier or later to get things done. That is supposed to include 30mins lunch break.

My reality is I do about 8.15am to 6pmish rarely taking proper breaks but doing a few school runs a week and popping to post box or something.

Compressed hours "long" days work out as 9 till 5.50pm for 9 days every 10.

I am already working far more than the "long" day pattern. This is why I do not believe DP will be picking up any extra domestic duties.

I used to work 4 days and loved my day off (was a Wednesday was great) I used to go for a 5 mile country walk with dog and friend. Nails/facial. Met friend for lunch. Jobs like painting, gardening, sorting cupboard. Teen Daughter finished school early that day so could do something nice together if we fancied. Really miss it and house and jobs have definitely suffered. The day off made a massive difference to my quality of life.

I have a 9 day pattern, and most weeks it goes totally to waste doing things for mum, watching tv, napping, shopping, cleaning, admin etc. I still feel a lot better for this, it is still extra hours to manage all the daily/weekly tasks.

When I planned it, my idea was go for an outdoor swim/walk/paddleboard or combination of that, relax, prep for weekend. Sometimes I do that 😁

Also he gets school holidays with his job and I get 25 days a year AL.

My DH says this, forgetting that I have all the childcare in those weeks he isn't off. Does he get time to himself in the house ever?

Sounds like you have a good work arrangement with every other Friday off. I'd enjoy the peace!

I had this schedule for a few years. It ended up being appointment day as it was a week day I was off I could schedule doctor, dentist, eyes, hair, etc for myself and the DC. Other than that, I’d try to get as much shopping/housework done so we’d have more family time on the weekend.

Why doesn't anyone do house work on work days too?

You can put the laundry on after work and run a vacuum around, wash up every day and cleaning the kitchen and bathroom doesn't take that long.

What housework requires a full day to do on top of what you do daily?

I work full time over 4 days and sometimes I do chores. I do spend that day off doing things for me- hiking, sleeping, meeting friends for coffee, doing my hair or nails, etc.