Bizarre experience with cleaner

[Purplelemon7]

I just had a replacement cleaner from
the agency because my regular cleaner is on holiday. The replacement cleaner asked for gloves which I gave her and she complained that they are dirty. I told her they are just fading slightly not dirty. She said she needs other ones. I told her I’m sorry I don’t have others but she is free to use or not use them. A few minutes later she started shouting on her phone and crying. I went into the kitchen and asked her to keep her voice down because I’m working. She came in to the lounge and started screaming at me for not providing kitchen towel and then started packing her things up and stormed off. I’m a bit shaken by the whole thing. My husband thinks she has mental health issues and we shouldn’t complain in case she loses her job. I’m not sure?

am i the only one homing in on the fact you were expecting her to wear second hand pre worn gloves? How miserly! Provide your cleaners with proper (safe) supplies. If you’re privileged enough to have somebody clean up after you - treat them with dignity for gods sake

they should bring gloves if they want to use gloves the rest is provided

This is what I’m getting from OPxcleaner interaction:

’Those are the gloves, deal with it’

’Cleaning products are right in front of you, are you stupid or what’

’Excuse me, how dare you make any noise here, I’m WFH so I need absolute silence!’

English is not my first language ( as I mentioned earlier) but the nuance of your interaction are giving me the above…

I feel like there's more to the story. You might not have used derogatory language towards the cleaner, but I just have this feeling that you used a really derogatory tone.

You weren't to know that she would request gloves. But I can absolutely see why she would be grossed out using faded gloves, because they would look well worn to her.

Then she was crying on the phone - and you told her to keep her voice down because you were working? Why wouldn't your first response to someone crying be "are you ok?" ?

And then you said "they're all on the counter right in front of you" - sounds really rude and feels like your tone would have been condescending.

Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I am feeling from your post. Not that her reaction wasn't intense. But I've been on the receiving end of clients or bosses talking to me like I'm stupid, and it's had me in tears. I just happen to cry quietly, and I'm not a shouter.

Not saying her response was professional. But were you kind, warm and welcoming to her? Or do you not feel it's necessary to be welcoming to your cleaner?

Probably best not to say anything even slightly derogatory in a denial of using derogatory language though! But yes, a pithy denial is in order.

The more I think about it the more I can see the cleaners side.
She asks for detergent and you patronisingly tell her it’s all in front of her. She asks for gloves and you say it’s these (in her opinion) dirty gloves or nothing. Then when she’s clearly upset and crying you tell her to keep it down because your oh so busy and important working from home.
The first thing I would ask is if she is ok, it seems like this was all a big inconvenience to your important day.

You could copy the post you first created on this site and then the update shortly after for the agency. It shows the date/time, reflects your initial reaction about her and your ‘non abusive ‘ tone before that issue was even raised with you.

I have the same cleaner who works for herself on causal basis. She brings all her own stuff, doesn't wear gloves but does wear a mask. I said she can use my hoover instead of hers as she has a Henry and mines cordless so it's easier. Never been rude to me and I don't think I'd be able to handle someone screaming at me, it's threatening behaviour regardless if any mental health issues are present.

I'm sorry @Purplelemon7 you sound so rude and condescending to that new cleaner..plus you how dirty are you if you expect your cleaner to use hand me down gloves...

One of my cleaners has only sons and gas offered to look after my DD for free in her spare time which seemed a bit....keen. I had a, werid feeling about it.

sounds to me like she dosnt want to work!as if you would go to someone's home to do a job then behave like that simply not good enough don't care what's wrong with her you need to complain about her odd behaviour she could do this in the wrong house and end up getting a slap or worse !I would be straight on the phone and demanding a refund

Really? A slap?

Compensation for not getting her house cleaned and for being yelled at by the cleaner, at a guess.

Laughing at the people with a problem with used rubber gloves THAT HAD BEEN WASHED!

A friend used to clean and could not go in one day due to vomiting one morning through food poisoning - she duly left a message. In the evening she was telephoned, shouted at and accused of ruining a dinner party as the beds needed to be made and a clean carried out before they arrived, being told how good to her the employers had been, buying her children easter eggs. She worked hard for her money and in this day and age deserved to be treated with equal respect and consideration. The lady may have been upset at wearing second hand gloves due to covid or any other reason. As you did not want to pay for the service of 'bring your own' perhaps it would be nice to have a few pairs of 'new' gloves to hand and run through where everything is quickly when a new cleaner arrives as would be the case in starting a new job. It does sound as though you were talking to the woman with disdain - she may well hate having to clean for anyone, but likely she does not want to be talked down to. She may have had a number of issues wrong that caused her to be upset on the day but an inconsiderate attitude from employers is one of the greatest causes of stress.

Had the other cleaner yesterday who did a great job with exactly the same materials provided. I think I mentioned that as well as claiming derogatory language had been used she also told the company no cloths had been provided. I noticed this cleaner had her own gloves. I haven’t ever had reason to notice if others hands/gloves but I’m guessing if they do they must bring their own.

To those who think I should have had a premonition that this cleaner would want gloves and be so sensitive about using ones that have been used before (especially when in 3 years the half a dozen cleaners I have had have never asked for any), sorry but that makes no sense.

For those analysing my comments to her, I’ve written them quickly over the phone without setting out the whole conversation. The conversation involved shouting, huffing and eye rolling on her part when asking for things so whilst my responses may seem a little short given the way she spoke to me in the first place I don’t think that’s surprising.

You’re free to make your own assessments that I’m in the wrong here. To be honest it’s quite hard for me to believe that someone behaved in this way, even though I experienced it myself!

Is there a language barrier? Could she have misinterpreted you? Mental health problems? Poor work culture? It could be a ruse to avoid cleaning.

IIRC one of the ways HMRC define that someone is self-employed and are not employed directly by you is that they provide their own gear. If they are employed by an agency, I'd expect them or the agency to provide anything necessary. If I was doing the job, I'd provide my own gloves and chemicals so I knew they were safe, clean, and effective.....

What’s wrong with having a pair of rubber gloves for the cleaner? OP usually has the same cleaner so to the person that OP was expecting to turn up that day, they weren’t second hand.

The cleaner knew she was standing in for the regular person, the OP didn’t. It’s not the OPs fault she didn’t have a new pair of gloves. Unless you expect her to keep lots of single use, wasteful gloves on the off chance that a drama Queen cleaner will turn up.

I have a cleaning business and if any one of my staff treated my clients in this way I would appreciate being told about it. I would want to know immediately if someone was tarnishing my good name in this manner. As a business I would certainly offer a free clean and also a choice of either waiting for your usual cleaner to return or providing either a cleaner you’re happy with or offer myself to do the cleaning. I believe in being honest with one another. Good luck.

Sorry, I only just saw this. Yes, this was SW London too, @Purplelemon7.