Hi all,
I'm posting in Aibu as I know I might get some home truths and I need honesty because this decision is potentially life altering.
I'm going to give a bit of background although it's outing I've name changed and will only be using this name for this thread (long time user).
I'm thinking of getting my tubes tied when I have my c section in November at 27 nearly 28 and I was sure of my decision but after my consultation my consultation stressed how young I was and I will regret it and although it's solely my decision I would like some opinions on it.
One reason is my mental health - I've suffered with my mental health since I was really young I didn't have the best home life and then had really abusive relationships in my teenage years and it's suspected I may have BPD or bipolar disorder which was made worse after my son was born in 2021 but that's because a month after he was born ( I needed an ELCS due to previous sexual trauma) my dad died, my mum has learning difficulties so I was suddenly in charge of that and then my granddad died a few months later so my MH spiralled, I made a suicide attempt and have had a few agencies involved such as home treatment team, perinatal team but never social services my son is very well cared for and I have a lot of support. After December and my almost year long depression I sort of ended up in a manic period and decided a baby was a good idea and got pregnancy straight away (if I hadn't I think I wouldn't of had a baby or waited a bit longer as my son was only 13 months old) but I did and decided to keep the baby and now I'm in a sort of stable period (which does happen) and I am receiving help with my mental health (a bit slowly but unfortunately nhs is on its ass sadly and because it's been mentioned even though not diagnosed private won't help me) I think two children are enough and I'll still be able to get care for my mental health whilst providing the best care I can for them both. Also I don't want to have another couple of manic stages and end up with 4 or 5 kids ( nothing wrong with that but it's just not for me) that way hence why I want the permanent birth control.
Another reason is I'd like to work on my career. At 18 I wasn't allowed to go to university or anything as I had to work and provide for my family so when I moved out at 25 I started to do a psychology degree but had to quit in year 2 due to all the problems I was having but they've said I'm allowed to re take my year and go back in September and after this course I'd like to do mental health nursing or midwifery (possibly both) and if that's the case then I'd be 35 before I'm fully qualified so I'd like to concentrate on that as well as my children which feels like I could even put my time enough so neither my children or my future ambitions suffer but I think another pregnancy and child may throw a spanner in the works and prevent that.
And my final reason is I only want two children, I've been told baby is a girl ( not that it mattered to us) but we now have one of each so they'll be no longing for a boy/girl I was never going to have etc, we can provide for two children comfortably, we only have a three bedroom house and we're both happy to only have two children so I don't feel like I'm making a mistake.
However I know I might be looking at it all a bit narrow minded and I don't know if I'm not thinking of something or if permanent birth control will mess my body up or something which is why I'm posting here.
I'm sorry it's so long but thank you for getting this far.