Mum jumping out and scaring me as a child.

[1000yellowdaisies]

Perhaps not an AIBU but its so strange i really don't know where to post...
So I am now 36 so born mid 80s and I've just had a flash back to something strange my mum used to do.

From as early as i can remember she used to do this thing of 'giving me a good shock' so jumping out from somewhere or doing something else that would startle me greatly. She wasnt doing this to be mean or fun she used to say that a 'good fright gets your blood circulating' and its good for your heart or something like that. Anyway she seemed to believe it had physical benefits for your body to have a scare every now and then....
She did it for years when I'd least expect it but then it tailed off.
Mum was and is kind and loving, we are very close and she looks after my DC regularly. She is not mean.

But I've suddenly remembered this thing and wanted to ask her about it. Not because I'm traumatised, I am not, I'm just so curious! But then again what is the point after all this time and maybe it would embarrass her to be reminded of it.
Was this a thing that was believed at the time??
Just to say my mum was an older mum (41) when she had me which felt unusual in the 80s... she was also not raised by her parents but by elderly relatives (who were born in the late 1890s) so she did have lots of old fashioned views when i was growing up (didn't get a microwave for many years as dangerous and also couldn't drive near electricity pylons in the rain in case in case of electrocution).
Has anyone else ever heard of this as a thing?

I read this in a scientific paper hate to tell you this but she is right
www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/fear-can-be-fun-and-it-might-even-be-good-for-you#Is-it-good-for-you?

Is this true about the cold water?

An Ex of mine used to do this to me, and ignored me when I asked him not to. It made me so jumpy and find it horrible to be so frightened.

Then one day, I was home early from work, he was showering, I managed to sneak up and put my hand around the shower curtain, and safe to say gave him the shock of his life as I shouted 'gotcha' and yanked back the curtain. He reacted incredibly strongly, and I said as long as he kept 'getting me' I would do it back.

We were together a few more years and he never did it again!

OP @1000yellowdaisies you say your mum was born in 1940s, raised by people born in 1890s so whilst it’s a huge time gap to now, I can imagine practices common in 1890s would last generationally at least 2 generations.

In the 1890s, crying was seen as good for babies to strengthen, “fortify”, them, and the scare story was of a baby that didn’t cry enough and passed away. BBC article with a bit on it and screen shot of relevant bit: www.bbc.com/future/article/20220322-how-sleep-training-affects-babies

I can imagine your mum’s jumping out and scaring being a family interpretation of this.

My DH does this to me...really annoys me.
Somehow he doesn't find it funny if l reciprocate.

I jump if I'm upstairs drying my hair and husband walks into the bedroom (and I know he's in the house!) so my nerves would not be able to cope with this! Nor would I have been able to cope with it as a child, it would have mentally scarred me.

I think this could well be an old fashioned belief and something your mum may have picked up being raised by her grandparents who were born in the 1890s. It just rings true that it could have been a thing that people did back then when life was hard and involved, at times, sudden changes. She probably reached a point in life where she realised that it wasn’t appropriate, perhaps after seeing a particular reaction from you. I reckon it was a thing and I would ask her out of curiosity - and because I’d like to know! Your mum sounds like a lovely lady btw.

No mind did it to me and it really scared me I don’t think it is a funny thing to do to a child. But I think she enjoyed it she certainly enjoyed being mean to other people

I remember this being a 'thing'.

When you get a shock that makes you jump your heart starts beating faster and there may be a rush of Adrenalin.

Nowadays you don't need a person to jump out at you as you can get a dreadful shock quite easily when you open and read your latest gas/electric bill.

Reminds me of the “Unagi” episode of Friends where Ross tried to scare Rachel and Phoebe 😄

Unagi

UNAGI 😂

I was born late 80s and my mum used to do this to me and my brother. We then used to do it back to her and it turned into more of a game.

It does seem cruel, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt in that she was doing it because she genuinely thought it was beneficial.

Out of interest, though….

Did she ask you, or your Dad - or indeed anyone(!) - to regularly jump out and give her a massive fright? You know, if it was so essentially beneficial, and all.

It does seem cruel, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt in that she was doing it because she genuinely thought it was beneficial.

Out of interest, though….

Did she ask you, or your Dad - or indeed anyone(!) - to regularly jump out and give her a massive fright? You know, if it was so essentially beneficial, and all.

My mums dad and stepmum used to do this to her. They really got into it and used creepy dolls etc. they aren’t really missed funnily enough.

Emotional abuse oh please

My family and friends done this and still does this all the time I'm 42 !!

Me and my 13 year old do this on each other all the time and I'm.positive we don't misguide or emotionally abuse each other

Though I will chat to her tomorrow about it

Generally with kids jumping out, chasing etc is part of a game, Kids play like this amongst themselves eg tick, hide and seek etc it is part of childhood play, Kids mostly enjoy the excitement where it is clearly fun and safe.

@3luckystars

Seems probable - there are quite a lot of studies and reasoned theories about cold water (shower, bath or swimming) and mood. There's a good summary at www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/4Q1s9Tyb9ZZmyqZhQk489FS/why-we-should-all-be-taking-cold-showers

Just because you and your kids love it, doesn’t mean it’s blanket OK, across the board.

My kids and DH love ticking and being tickled and have tickle fights all the time. I hate it - absolutely hate it - and do not join in. If they insisted on doing it to me, because they find it fun, that wouldn’t make it OK.

This is the same principle.

Does she do this to your own children too??? Would you be happy if she did???

Why one earth can't you ask her why she did it? Does she still do it to you now? If not, why now? Why don't you do the exact same back to her and tell her its to get her blood moving and good for HER?

There are many old wives tales handed down in families. Some do indeed have some, vague truth- but many don't. My nan (now 101) told my mother not to eat apple pips, otherwise a tree could grow out of your body! She was absolutely terrified of accidentally eating a seed as a child. To the point now, as an adult in her 70's, she actively avoids eating anything apple related!

It's strange behaviour from DM but the 80's was definitely a make your own mischief era.

Dbro the eldest put jars of water on top of the doors leaving the door slightly open any person entering would get soaked.

My younger sister would jump out or hide under a bed and pull your leg trying to terrified us at night time.

Some playful fun could be cruel in the 80's our Aunt's would tease and upset us as DC.

They'd openly talk about the banshee too conversations "I heard a banshee last night, must be a death in the area" we'd be terrified to sleep.

Interesting. I can see how this might be the sort of play we evolved to engage in, like play fighting, to prepare us for the real world shocks, it would be good to know if it’s common across cultures.

I had family members who did this regularly when I was little. I didn’t like it, as I got older I put it down to a sort of desire to have power over someone. Like it’s fun for them to see they can scare you, that they can change someone’s emotional state dramatically. I attributed that to them being pathetic and insecure. I’m sure your mum did it for purely good parenting reasons though. Now you have me thinking there’s more to it!

😂 at not being missed.