To be confused

[lilacsim]

I don’t know what to do. I read DD 15’s diary and found out her friend has been boating about her sex life and apparently her friend is into BDSM. She is also 15. I’m so confused as to what to do, so I tell her parents? This friend comes over often and I do know her mum. I won’t go into detail about her dairy but that’s the gist. WIBU to tell her mum?

I think that you should speak to your DD and get more information. It could be exaggeration, completely made up or a safeguarding issue.

I think you will have trouble here as you read DDs diary. Presumably without her permission.

I would say that firstly you want to have open, honest and age appropriate conversations about sex with your children, if you aren't already. Being able to confide in parents is so important in terms of making healthy choices and agency during sexual relationships.

Only you can tell whether it would be a good idea/how to broach the subject with the friend's DM. What you don't want is for her to then fly off the handle at her daughter who is at best experimenting sexually in a heathy way, or at worst in an abusive situation.

I’ll speak to her when she’s home from school.

My diary at that age was full of utter crap - it was part journal and part fiction so tread warily.

I don’t know. Nothing else seems to be odd so I’m thinking it’s true

Reading your daughter’s diary is a huge breach of trust. I don’t see how you can possibly raise this.

I think the minute you tell your daughter you read her diary, you will have destroyed the trust and that will impact your relationship with her in the future, including any conversation she might want to have with you regarding sex etc.

You can't say you've read her diary...just no.

You'll have to have a general chat and bring it up that way - say you overheard a group of girls talking (who look your daughters age) and pretend they were discussing the same topics and ask for your daughters opinion/give her some advice if she ever hears similar.