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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to just enjoy being single - but how?

9 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 06/06/2022 15:07

18 months ago I went through a break up that, with no exaggeration nearly killed me. It was bookended by 2 really traumatic bereavements and at times, I thought I would rather not be here anymore. I got 'straight back on the horse' and did some internet dating after about 7 months and saw someone casually and briefly- this ended in March. Since then, I have poddled about on the apps again- I have a real issue with feeling 'not good enough' if I do not have a relationship. At other times in my life, I have been confident and have relished being single but for some reason this time, I am struggling to get back to that. I am starting to feel the stirrings of not wanting to bother with the apps and to just concentrate on myself but that feels scary- any of you wise ones recognise this feeling and have any advice? I am stuck in a terrible trap at the moment of feeling like I have no time to do things I like but then wasting time on my phone- am also perimenopausal so that doesn't help- anyone got any ideas of how I fall back in love with my life and embrace being single?

OP posts:
Steelesauce · 06/06/2022 15:25

Get yourself a really strong self care routine and do it religiously every night. Plan a night out with friends once a month and find yourself a good series to watch. Its taken me 6 months of really working on being ok with being alone but now I actually don't want anyone to come and disturb my peace!

KangarooKenny · 06/06/2022 15:26

Be strict on your screen time. Read a book and do a beauty regime instead.

SausagePourHomme · 06/06/2022 15:28

Get a hobby you love. Dress for you. Meet up with friends. Enjoy not being told what to do or at the whim of another person's moods.

crochetmonkey74 · 06/06/2022 15:31

Steelesauce · 06/06/2022 15:25

Get yourself a really strong self care routine and do it religiously every night. Plan a night out with friends once a month and find yourself a good series to watch. Its taken me 6 months of really working on being ok with being alone but now I actually don't want anyone to come and disturb my peace!

I'm really interested in this - if it's not too personal - what is your self care routine? I think I have neglected this a bit and now I can't really see what I would do

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fedup078 · 06/06/2022 15:34

I've joined all the apps for friendships so I usually have something to fill my time such as an event on Meetup.
I've got zero interest in a relationship now but I need to keep myself busy and I find it dangerous being inside my own head too much

crochetmonkey74 · 06/06/2022 15:40

fedup078 · 06/06/2022 15:34

I've joined all the apps for friendships so I usually have something to fill my time such as an event on Meetup.
I've got zero interest in a relationship now but I need to keep myself busy and I find it dangerous being inside my own head too much

I have downloaded Meetup- my area doesn't seem to have too much on and sometimes it feels a little too draining to have to go and meet strangers in order to have a social life but I might need to get over myself a bit there

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fedup078 · 06/06/2022 15:43

I went to the cinema through it on Saturday something I would never have done on my own . Saw the top gun film and it was absolutely brilliant . Just simple things like that to use up half a day

crochetmonkey74 · 06/06/2022 18:51

KangarooKenny · 06/06/2022 15:26

Be strict on your screen time. Read a book and do a beauty regime instead.

Like this idea a lot

OP posts:
crochetmonkey74 · 06/06/2022 18:52

fedup078 · 06/06/2022 15:43

I went to the cinema through it on Saturday something I would never have done on my own . Saw the top gun film and it was absolutely brilliant . Just simple things like that to use up half a day

Yes I think I would enjoy a solo cinema trip

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