to be worried I’m not gay after all

[ScaredANDalone123]

I came out to my husband last year after falling in love with a friend
There are so so many things that I love about being with a woman but I hate the change in our family dynamic now even though we are still cohabiting
Im worried that I still love him to some degree as I’ve never felt completely settled with her but it’s hard to feel settled when it’s so upsetting all round especially for the children
Im terrified that I love them both

It is entirely possible to love them both. You could be bisexual, or you could simply be missing the comfort and stability of your life with your husband, who I imagine you DO love on some level even if it isn't truly sexual romantic love. You've been through a huge period of upheaval and it is natural to be anxious and feel uprooted. I think you should speak to a therapist to unpack your feelings properly as I don't think you'll get the proper headspace without a trained professional to spot your thinking patterns.

I think I remember you.

You had so many threads on

*you had so many threads on this and kept starting new ones when they didn't go your way.

You cheated on your husband but thought it was fine because you were coming out. Now you're not sure. Probably have a load of threads coming on this. It's attention seeking.

This ☝️

Also from your thread the other day, you had just told your mum and had a very upsetting reaction, it takes time to emotionally process all of this.

It's possible to be gay, but not love the women you are with. It's possible to be gay and still have some form of love for your husband. You could be bisexual. You could really just miss the safety and comfort of your marriage. You could realise you've made a mistake and want to try again with your husband.

If you hadn't mentioned the gay part, it does sound a bit like you had an affair and realised the grass isn't greener. It's ok to feel like that. You just need to accept that your husband might not feel the same and may not want to return to how it was.