I was introduced to a guy through a friend. We had 5 fantastic dates but were both relatively newly single. He had struggled with his break-up a lot more than I had.
On the 6th we kissed and then on the 7th we ended up in bed together. It ended really awkwardly with him falling asleep at my house and then leaving in the early hours of the morning.
Somewhere within the 6th or 7th dates we booked two consecutive weekends away together(which sounds a bit mad but they were ‘adventure’ type trips rather than romantic trips - we were both just happy to have a travel companion. Separate rooms etc).
After the awkward night together, we didn’t see each other again until the first weekend trip.
Everything in my being was telling me not to go on the trip. The last time we’d seen each other had been so so awkward I couldn’t imagine spending a weekend with him, but I decided to take the risk.
As it turned out, it was bloody brilliant. We really had the best best time. Nothing physical happened the whole trip though, although there was some heavy heavy flirting. At one point it looked very much like things were going in that direction, and then they didn’t!
Nonetheless, all great and we were super excitedly planning our itinerary for then next trip.
Suddenly at the end of the trip, his mood completely changed and he became very withdrawn. When I questioned it he admitted he was really still struggling from his recent break-up and knowing the trip was coming to an end, was starting to feel anxious and depressed. Now, partly this was a nice reflection on how much he’d enjoyed the trip, but he went on to talk (for hours) about how he could never find a connection with anyone the way he did with his ex and he met so many people and none of them came close.
He then used a really offensive analogy about how he felt about how he felt about spending time with me - indicating it was fun but wasn’t going anywhere.
I spent the last few hours of the trip really just counselling him through his dark feelings which was not a fun end to the trip!
I am now torn about the next trip. We really had so much fun on this one. I haven’t laughed so much in ages. But equally, I don’t have a lot of free time and I’m not sure I want to spend it with someone who doesn’t feel they have a connection with me and doesn’t see it going anywhere. Even if we’d had a frank conversation about just being friends, I would still have been keen to go. But the way it ended up just felt belittling and a real mood killer after a great trip.
(And I fully expect to get YWBU to go away with a man you barely knew, but I’m not in the U.K. and travelling with new friends is very common where I live)