Chlamydia Self Tests and Anxiety

[worriedpanda50]

Can someone please talk some sense into me??

I am 50 and ought to know better but making myself low and anxious with this thought spiral. I have been married for 20 odd years and split earlier this year. At this point my husband moved out, it was very acrimonious, solicitors involved and I honestly thought we would be split forever.

I was so low with terrible self esteem. I still am this way. I dated someone for a bit and had sex with him once without a condom. I have the implant. I know it was incredibly stupid but it is done now and don't want to be made to feel worse than I do. I don't have any sti symptoms and neither does the guy I had sex with. Yes I have asked him. The sex was 6 weeks ago but I have asked him last week.

Since then my husband and I have started to get back together and have had a lot of sex. I have done 2 chlamydia self checks to be sure all is ok and both are negative. I have taken them on different days and way over the incubation period. The tests say they are 86% sensitive. I can't stop focusing on the 14% they don't pick up.

I have told my husband i dated someone but haven't said about the sex explicitly. I suspect he thinks I haven't had sex. I keep obsessing the tests are wrong, that I have it and have given it to him and will loose the happiness I have finally found after such a grim time.

I know chlamydia happens at any age. My age group is much lower than say 16-24s. I just can't talk sense into myself.

Can someone help me to be more rational?

Oh bless you! You're catastrophising - the only way to stop that is to focus on being super logical (and I say this as someone who is also prone to it!).

You need an action plan - firstly, recognise that the odds are that you're fine, so determine not to panic until you know there's something to panic about (this is my top top tip!). Secondly, find your local gum clinic and book a full set of std tests - it'll protect your long term health.

You don't owe your husband any explanation at this point - you had split up, it wasn't unreasonable of you to date, and it's none of his business whether or not you slept with anyone. If you do get back together you might want to make a decision about whether to tell him - but ultimately it's not for him to have an opinion on it.

Hope you feel better soon x

The tests are very sensitive. Embarrassingly I slept with someone several times and when we stopped I thought I better get tested. I did one from superdrug and its come back positive. I went to the clinic today and asked if after the antibiotics do I need to test again. She said I can however sometimes it can pick up on small traces of it and give another positive as its so sensitive so I wouldn't worry.