Am I getting scammed by Landlord?

[Mumnetter111]

To start, I don’t have much experience renting especially with other people so I’m unsure as to wether this is regular or not.

I currently live in quite a busy city and now adult DC have moved out, I’ve been looking to move somewhere quieter ideally near a beach. I reached out to a house share in a place I’d like to live with 3 other women living there and explained my situation that I was living quite far away. I spoke to the landlord and both agreed that we’d meet and see if we both thought it would be a good fit. We arranged a date and I had booked a train and a hotel with transport to the place. She then messaged me about a week later that a family member was sick and unfortunately would not be able to make it, I then asked if it would still be possible to meet the other 2 women living there as tickets were non refundable, she then told me that wouldn’t be possible as they didn’t feel comfortable meeting without them all being there. I was quite upset as I’d lost £400 on the trip and didn’t see much point making a 6 hour journey for no reason. Today she came back to me again asking to arrange another meeting. I’m really unsure what to say as I can’t possibly justify spending £800 just for the other people living there to say they don’t think I’d be a good fit.

I guess I’m just quite upset that I’d explained where I was currently living and told them I’d already booked a hotel and I’d thought at least some of the current tenants could meet me.

AIBU? Is this something common that happens with trying to find a place to rent (Like I said I’m very inexperienced with this.)

@Crimeismymiddlename I did think this could be the case on why they were not saying wether they could make the room available for me or not even if I had viewed the place. I don’t think it would be worth going down for the week as the area I’m looking in only a few places are coming up a month. And I’m avoiding living with any men and anyone too young so that very much narrows down my search.

The reality of trying to rent a female-only house share in a small location 6 hours away from where you live now is that you are going to have to accept that you’ll spend a lot on travel and potentially not get offered the room anyway.

I think it’s really rude to have outright cancelled knowing you’d spent a lot of money coming down. I wonder how ill this family member was that she couldn’t spare an hour for you. Even if this is not a scam, they don’t sound terribly committed to renting to you.

@Mummyoflittledragon I completely understood that she couldn’t come and told her I was sad to hear that and understood. I just thought because I’d explained before the circumstances of where I live and that it would be non refundable that maybe the other women living there could At least have spoken to me outside if they didn’t want to do a viewing without her or something like that.

You have been messed around and it’s possible it was leading up to a scam (if they were about to ask for a holding deposit).

(That said yabu to book non-refundable tickets when going to meet strangers as there was always a high risk that they might cancel.)

Ditch these guys, keep looking and do NOT buy any more non-refundable tickets unless you are 100% in control of the plan.

You can change or cancel train tickets even if non refundable at the moment.
Have you tried?

It's starting off an uneven footing, that you are spending so much time and money travelling to meet them, yet they can't even confirm the room will be available. They won't do a zoom call first. They cancel at short notice.

if you got the room, I think you'll find it continues on an uneven footing, being the sole renter with three homeowners.

I also don't think they'll let you the room. If they were keen on you they would try to see your point of view, and agree to a phone or zoom call first, or let you meet two of them in person. Perhaps they have lots of interest, perhaps they are in no rush to rent the room out.

If you want to rent in a female only houseshare in a small village far away from home you may have some wasted journeys looking for a room though.

How realistic are your plans to move there? If you need to move out of one rental in future, would you be able to find somewhere new in the required timescale, or would you need to move away if so few suitable homes come up?

It's starting off an uneven footing, that you are spending so much time and money travelling to meet them, yet they can't even confirm the room will be available. They won't do a zoom call first. They cancel at short notice.

if you got the room, I think you'll find it continues on an uneven footing, being the sole renter with three homeowners.

I also don't think they'll let you the room. If they were keen on you they would try to see your point of view, and agree to a phone or zoom call first, or let you meet two of them in person. Perhaps they have lots of interest, perhaps they are in no rush to rent the room out.

If you want to rent in a female only houseshare in a small village far away from home you may have some wasted journeys looking for a room though.

How realistic are your plans to move there? If you need to move out of one rental in future, would you be able to find somewhere new in the required timescale, or would you need to move away if so few suitable homes come up?

What kind of housing do you live in currently? You say you don't have much experience of renting- do you own your house now?

You have spent the money already so it may be a good idea to go anyway so you can have a look and feel of the place/area before you commit to move toor keep looking for houses in the area.

My friend has a flat in what is a very nice, not crowded, pleasant spa town at the coast… by day. We didn’t realise how unpleasant it becomes once the day visitors are gone (imagine lots of antisocial behaviour and local teens racing down the streets), there’s also very little to do in the winter months and that’s before considering the weather.

It's not their fault it's so expensive and difficult for you to get there.

But there is an obvious solution to this - ask for a video viewing initially. You can see the place virtually and meet everyone virtually. Then, if everyone is happy, you could arrange a second in person meet - but surely virtual viewing is the way to go to start with.

I agree with this.

It does line up with a known scam. There will be a series of issues with meeting up, but desperate for a place, you will send a hefty deposit and first months rent anyway. They rarely own the place advertised.

I used to regularly travel 500 miles each way (although part ferry) and always had travel insurance and tried to get a ticket with some flexibility to cancel/adjust due to the ferry situation. While I would let this house go it might be something to bare in mind for the future.

It might be worth looking at shorter term room let's for professionals near to the area you're looking at as a step in the right direction. You could take a room up to an hour away with a 6 month let which might give you more options to look in your desired area and visit on the fly. If there's nothing really tying you to your current location then it might be an option. Lets for professionals tend to not be too bad, they're working all week and are less likely to be having wild nights out and coming back and making loads of noise. Might even be worth looking at something with post-grad students if it's near a university, I wouldn't necessarily rule it out if it was limiting options (and a short lease).

I think the hardest part is going to be sharing with people who might be very different to you not necessarily their ages. I only managed 6 months with my close friend at uni before I had to move out and ended up lodging with a lovely family who I fitted in much better with.

How has it cost £400? 😳

@Wor yes it was very naive of me - definitely learnt my lesson for next time.

@hopelesslydevotedtoGu yes I own my home now. And will be keeping it, was just hoping to rent a room for the summer months (or possibly longer if I liked it.)

I would never rent from 3 live in owners. Living with a single owner could work but 3, no way. They would constantly gang up against you in all manner of things. You won't feel relaxed. It won't feel like your home in any way

So would you just want to rent somewhere for a few months initially?

Spending £400+ is a big outlay to view a place you might rent temporarily. Are there any options like renting a holiday let/ airbnb for a few months? Or a room in a bnb? They may give you a discount for staying a few months.

Also these three women may prefer a tenant staying longer, if they need the money. If they are insisting on meeting all three in person I assume they are assessing for a long term let, not just a few months.

I would find somewhere you can temporarily stay this summer (even if not ideal e.g. with younger people) and then whilst living there in the summer you can hopefully make friends and find somewhere better to stay longer or let next summer.

As it's June already if you want to go this summer presumably you need to find something asap?

Is there a local fb group? You could ask if anyone would like a temporary lodger this summer? Maybe someone who wouldn't go to the bother of advertising, but would fancy some short term extra income.