To ask for urgent help with adhd mental paralysis?

[Mumwantingtogetitright]

I have come into work today to get some urgent stuff done before the start of the week tomorrow. It is an absolute deadline and there is a lot to do. I have adhd, am totally overwhelmed and stuck. I got here 3 hours ago and have probably done about 10 mins work in total. Just can't get my brain into gear.

What the fuck can I do to unfreeze my brain enough to enable me to get on with it? (The work isn't that difficult but it's dull, and my brain doesn't cope well with boring tasks.)

Please help. The work MUST get done!!

This is the reality of ADHD though.

It’s not all cute and humorous tik tok fodder.

It’s often watching a looming and important deadline come towards you and just being unable to do what you need to do. Knowing it’s a simple task that just needs you to sit and get on with it and just not. Feeling frustrated and angry with yourself but just being unable to do it.

Also knowing there are no excuses. You will face the consequences and - even with a diagnosis and ‘workplace adjustments - no one will be helpful or sympathetic about it. You’ll just have let the side down and people will be annoyed.

Urgent and with an absolute deadline CAN be the thing that forces a focus or it can be something that absolutely undoes you. And you can’t always predict which it’ll be.

Yep my undiagnosed as yet ADHD means that I know what I need to do and have all the good intentions but results in work being pushed just through the deadline and causing a breakdown or me missing it completely and fucking up.

@Mumwantingtogetitright are you medicated? I often wonder what that's like in terms of productivity.

Have you heard of ‘the drummer and the great mountain’? Very useful resource for making more long term changes.

I have it, just haven't got round to reading it yet. Story of my life!!

@SnipSnipMrBurgess , not yet, but hopefully soon!!

I put Downton Abbey on Netflix and use one earbud. I've seen it a bazillion times before and it's so gentle that it is just background noise, BUT it shuts my brain up as it has something to listen to and it also stops me using my phone to doomscroll.

Yes, I watch Netflix at work. Yes my boss is aware and yes my boss is happy for me to do so as he k owns I get more done this way!

Music! When I feel like that I put some music on to drown out the urges to procrastinate and concentrate on the task in hand. It works well for me

Music! When I feel like that I put some music on to drown out the urges to procrastinate and concentrate on the task in hand. It works well for me

You have my sympathy - I have ADHD, inattentive type and you’ve described my life - I know how completely awful and frustrating it is. I always need something to keep my brain occupied - so music or an audiobook. Sometimes the major problem is finding something interesting enough to listen to so that I can actually start.

I’ve also seen Focus advertised - it seems to be a body doubling app. A journalist I follow who has ADHD (orbyn) mentioned it this week and said it was helpful for her to get to work on something - she was paired with a student and I think the idea is that you both work while having your camera on so that you can almost hold each other accountable. I guess the idea is that sometimes we ADHDers struggle with working by ourselves?

Is it possible that you don’t have another commitment today, so the deadline anxiety hasn’t truly kicked in yet? Maybe promise to be home / somewhere for a certain time and then you’ll get that absolute focus and will manage to achieve everything in 30 minutes?

Focus Mate works for me as there's a set time to start. I have to turn up as I've made the commitment to the other person, which is much more motivating to me than any commitment I make to myself.

How it works is you say hello, then spend a few seconds telling each other what you plan to be getting on with. Then you switch the microphone off, but leave the camera on, so you can see each other working. (No chit chat!). then at the end, you turn the mics on again and tell each other how you did.

For me, it works as it helps break through those distractions e.g. "I'll just have a cup of tea / water the plants / check my notification on my phone/ whatever and then I'll get started". Instead, you have to show up and just get started then and there. And once I've got started, I can carry on.

Oh I've been there down that rabbit hole of distraction.

Pomodoro
Coffee
5 minute focus meditation from youtube

@fluffyjumpers just coming back to say a HUGE thank you for the suggestion of Focusmate. I signed up today and did more in my first 50 minute session than I normally manage all morning. Feels like a real game changer for me, I guess similar to the ‘study with me’ sessions but with the accountability of being with a real person.
I am planning to do a session every day for a couple of weeks to get on top of a bunch of things I have been procrastinating for ages.
thank you!