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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to send son to school?

124 replies

Blizy · 05/06/2022 13:08

My 7 year old son has developed hand foot and mouth over the weekend, he is well in himself and I'm aware that there's no exclusion period for h f &m, I am/was planning on sending him to school as usual tomorrow but my sister is aghast at the idea of it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Palmtree9 · 05/06/2022 13:18

I would say depends how ill he is with it by tomorrow, and if you do send him in that you let the teacher know

TeenPlusCat · 05/06/2022 13:20

DD's school didn't want her in when she had it.

ForestFae · 05/06/2022 13:21

Dont send an unwell child into school.

BattenburgDonkey · 05/06/2022 13:22

i think you just need to speak to school and see what their policy is on it.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 05/06/2022 13:22

Please don't send your child in with hand foot and mouth.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 05/06/2022 13:24

I wouldn't be sending him in with that.

KangarooKenny · 05/06/2022 13:25

You need to ask school their policy.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 05/06/2022 13:27

It’s incredibly contagious, he really shouldn’t go to school!

Heckythump1 · 05/06/2022 13:28

Pretty certain HFM doesn't have an exclusion period (like chicken pox and the like), I'd ring school in the morning and ask what their policy is.

orwellwasright · 05/06/2022 13:29

If the school doesn't mind and he doesn't feel unwell of course he should go.

Mumsnet is bizarrely relaxed about school attendance though.

THATissooFETCH · 05/06/2022 13:29

Ask the school

Also are you sure its HFM not chicken pox?

girlmom21 · 05/06/2022 13:35

Don't send him in. It's contagious. That's unfair.

Everydayimhuffling · 05/06/2022 13:41

Check the school's policy, but I would be hesitant. DP was horribly ill with HFM when he caught it from our baby: vomiting and swollen tongue and couldn't really eat for about a week.

Onwards22 · 05/06/2022 13:44

Considering it’s a contagious disease then I wouldn’t risk it.
I know he may be past the contagious stage but it’s still to much of a risk.

MN is odd because there’s a thread about a boy visiting his niece who has a cold and most people have said he shouldn’t have been allowed around her.

Surely the rule should be if you’re contagious you just stay home.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 05/06/2022 13:47

Ask the school in the morning if they want you to send him in or not. If there isn’t an official exclusion policy for hfm then the school might care more about their attendance figures than the risk of it spreading. Or they might rightly be more concerned about more children catching it and want you to stay away.

Onlyforcake · 05/06/2022 13:47

Why wouldn't you let him be at home?

Original poster
Blizy · 05/06/2022 13:48

100% sure it's hf&m. I'm an early years practitioner and know there is no exclusion period, he isn't feeling unwell and is currently charging around the garden.
Normally I wouldn't hesitate about keeping him at home but he's not feeling unwell and I will be pulled into a disciplinary in work if I'm off again. My 1 year old has been ill a lot, I've needed to be off work with her. I have no one to take the kids when they are ill, dh works away from home.

OP posts:
VerifiedBot2351 · 05/06/2022 13:48

The NHS website says to send children to school if they are feeling well despite the HFM.

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 05/06/2022 13:51

If he's gone past the contagious stage and is well in himself then it's obviously fine to send him into school. If he's still contagious then definitely no, letting your child pass hand, foot and mouth onto other children is not ok. My children have all had it and suffered badly, i caught it too and it was horrendous for me!

JuneJubilee · 05/06/2022 13:52

Perhaphs you need to find a different job. There's a LOT of vacancies right now.

I think it's wrong to send such a contagious child into school.

BattenburgDonkey · 05/06/2022 13:52

If he’s feeling well and school are ok with it send him in, you are following the NHS guidelines and school policy, unless your sister wants to look after for you him I’d just forget about her.

Original poster
Blizy · 05/06/2022 13:56

@JuneJubilee sure thing, thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
Onwards22 · 05/06/2022 14:04

Ring the school and check but I have a strong feeling they’ll say no.
As it’s contagious there’s a big chance your 1 yo or you may get it so I’d be thinking of how you’re going to get time off.

Can you financially afford to not work?

I remember my DD being ill all of the time when she was little and it was awful trying to get time off and having no help (single parent).

Someone I knew had a DH who worked away so she chose to be a SAHP until the kids were a bit older as he obviously couldn’t help if they were off ill.

Ownedbymycats · 05/06/2022 14:05

My baby niece took this and was extremely ill with blisters in her mouth and being unable to feed. Those who describe it as a minor illness must never have dealt with a dehydrated baby literally screaming until she would finally fall asleep, only for it all to start again an hour later.
I don't think you should send the child to school although it's probably working its way through the entire school already.

hamdden12 · 05/06/2022 14:06

If you have been working for your employer for more than a year you can take parental leave (unpaid) and there's nothing they can do about it.