Kissing a new baby

[CountryGirl189]

Currently 30 weeks pregnant and been thinking about this recently.

I personally feel really strongly about this and don’t want people, grandparents included, kissing our baby on the lips/nose for the first few weeks in case any viruses or sicknesses are passed on.

I brought this up to my OH who thinks it’s absolutely ridiculous and won’t back me up with this. I also mentioned it to my mum and she laughed and said ‘I’ve heard it all now’ and says she won’t not do this because ‘how do I think people brought up babies before mine’.

It’s getting me really down to the point where I don’t want to let anyone see the baby if they’re not going to be respectful of, what I think, is a perfectly reasonable request to protect the health of my child.

I’m I just being as ridiculous as everyone is telling me?

@orwellwasright god forbid anyone picks yours up and scrubs the floor with it then 😂😂

My dd had a baby 9 weeks ago and I advised her not to let people kiss dgc face.
For the most part visitors are respectful but her in laws do kiss dgc on the face sometimes and I know it makes dd anxious.
I asked permission to kiss dgc on the head and haven't kissed dgc elsewhere.

Your baby, your rules.
If your dm laughs tell her very firmly that the alternative is not to see the baby until they've had their jabs at 8 weeks.
That might concentrate her mind.

It's true though.
It's having boundaries.
Of course if people were respectful then the comment wouldn't have to be trotted out.

You wouldn't do that to an older child or an adult so I find it weird that people seem to think babies are an objection to this

You've not spent much time in Southern Europe then. Complete strangers will come up and kiss kids. And kissing older children and adults is also completely normal, even when first meeting.

There is absolutely no need to kiss a tiny baby with their vulnerable immune systems on the lips. In light of Covid and children (and adults) not being exposed to various ‘normal’ germs, there has been an increase in various illnesses. Why even risk it? Cuddling a newborn is lovely. Kiss and sniff their head. They can still feel loved and adored without you putting your mouth on theirs! I say this as someone who does lip kiss my own kids so I’m not against it. I just don’t think it’s necessary to put a newborn at risk for the sake of my own choices. They won’t feel any less loved as long as they get plenty of cuddles and kisses. Just kiss their cute little baby toes or their head or whatever.

I just can't comprehend why anyone would object to this. You're not saying people cant see or even hold the baby, you're just saying no lip kissing. It's a perfectly reasonable/sensible request. The baby isn't able to consent or otherwise, so the parents need to advocate for them. The Herpes virus is very dangerous for newborns. And many other viruses can be very unpleasant. It's just common sense. I agree with a PP; if your mum can't stick to this one sensible rule, then she'll have to stay away for a while. As for your dh, a chat with the midwife should help.

YANBU, nobody kissed my babies on the lips. DM once kissed DD1 when she was a week or so old on her mouth but I quickly told her, she had no idea about the cold sore virus etc and how serious it is for babies. DD2 is now 8 weeks and nobody has tried to kiss her. I don't even kiss them on the lips as newborns, I'd much prefer kissing their squishy little cheeks

@Somethingsnappy glad your can see that I’m not saying no kissing, just literally not on their mouth! I have basically zero other ‘rules’, so really don’t know why it’s kicked up such a fuss to be honest 😅

Interesting, I've a toddler grandson and I've never kissed him.He gives the occasional hug when he stops for long enough but kissing has never really been a thing. Hold firm on this if you feel strongly about it.

It’s really dangerous to kiss a newborn baby, herpes cold sores ? Babies have died from this it’s not precious. I didn’t even like people kissing mine on the head. Show him all the info and articles where babies hve died. Some people in this thread are ridiculous.

YANBU. Sadly there are babies that have had dire consequences after being kissed by people with the herpes virus (coldsore virus). I am currently pregnant and I have absolutely no problem telling people, “wash your hands and no kissing.” It should be common courtesy, but it isn’t, so go for it and don’t give it a second thought.

@orwellwasright give over.... I didn't "trot it out" if op doesn't want people to kiss her baby, then she doesn't have to. If she does, then she can. Shall I just rephrase to please you? How about:

"You are the child's parent, so you set the boundaries which you would like other people to adhere to "

Have a day off.

I completely agree with you. I don’t think anyone should kiss babies on the lips. I kiss my DD on the lips but my husband doesn’t as he too is very conscious on germs etc.

I’m happy for people to kiss her elsewhere on her face but not lips

Where did I say that? That wasn't the question at all. The question was about kissing a baby not kissing a baby with a cold sore. So please don't put words in to my mouth.

A relative of mine has laid down some rules for when people meet her baby. It includes no kissing, washing hands before holding baby and various things like that.

my own opinion is that she’s being terribly PFB about things, but I don’t have a problem her laying out her boundaries and I have absolutely no problem respecting them. Her baby, her rules.

Should be the same for you. If you don’t feel comfortable with someone kissing your baby near the mouth, you’re entitled to say so.

I never kissed my own babies on the lips due to the fear of passing something on. They have underdeveloped immune systems can wouldn't be able to cope with the bacteria/viruses that adults carry. Hence sterilising....

I would speak to your HV and get her to back you up!

Saying no to kissing on the lips but then letting them kiss they baby's hands is stupid though. The baby is likely to put the fist straight in their mouth and risk spreading any viruses.

Sometimes I am so glad I had DS at the start of covid. Only dp and I were able to hold him for the first 10 weeks of his life. Didn't have any of this to worry about.

A child in our town died from strep B. It was picked up from someone kissing them so YABU. There are certain infections they it’s great to get immunity to, others can be disastrous.

My kids are 7 and 5 and even when they were born we were warned not to let anyone kiss them on their face. I thought it was standard guidance.

@Helpyou at no point did I state that this is what you said, I was merely presenting you with a contradictive situation to what you did originally say which was that I wasn’t seeing it from others’ point of view, to see if you’d understand my point of view as you mentioned that everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I’m not saying that I don’t see it from yours’ and others’ points of view (as you clearly stated in your previous to last post), however I think it’s equally as important that people recognise the dangers and make their own decision for their children based on this.

If you choose to let people kiss your baby on the mouth then you do you, but that is not something that I wish for my child and that should be respected, just as I would respect the wishes of any parent.