Even as adults I think our personality/mental health is still shaped by the people around us and sometimes traits stick with us.
For example, when I was 18, I was in a 5 year relationship with a guy who had a natural dominant and controlling personality. He wasn't abusive but he'd find it very attractive if I cried, he wouldn't speak to me for weeks if we argued, he'd cheat on me but at the same time he was lovely in the sense of helping me with my driving and we'd go on days out and trips together. However, he'd also make comments about me being fat so I lost a lot of weight, even though I wasn't fat to start with, and he'd make comments about how any other man I meet will be horrible to me because I have a natural quiet personality.
Anyway, I'm now 28 and been with my current boyfriend 3 years and I feel I've grown in many ways since that relationship but i still feel part of it is still within me.
Like I still cry a lot during arguments which I can't help; if my boyfriend jokes after an argument that he'll leave me, I get anxious and upset as this was something my ex would actually do (not that he does it because of my ex), and I feel I have a natural "pleaser" personality, like wanting to do whatever he wants to do as when I was 18 this was how it was with him; he'd call all the shots.
I just hate my personality. I have an okay job and genuinely happy with life but sometimes these traits come out which I don't understand .
I had a great upbringing; I'm very close to my mum and dad; my mum is a very headstrong person, never even seen her cry; so I don't understand why I am the way I am. It's like I can't do anything for myself and my natural reaction is to cry when things go sour And I hate it