I can’t remember the last time I had a decent sleep

[GeraldineGranger]

It’s not really an AIBU, more that I wanted posting traffic.

My sleep is terrible, it’s got much worse since I had my son 4 years ago.

Every night I go to bed with good intentions, I sometimes fall asleep straight away, then I wake up again after an hour or two and can’t get back to sleep for ages.
I’m then awake before 6am some days. Especially with DS and on work / school days.

I never feel like I’ve had a decent night and I just feel tired all the time, lethargic and tearful.

At the moment, I’m due on my period so my sleep last night was more broken than ever.

I’m waiting on an ADHD diagnosis, I’m pretty sure I’ve got it, one thing being that my brain chatter just doesn’t stop, so that obviously disrupts my sleep quite considerably.

Just wondering if anyone is in the same boat and what worked for you, I can’t go on like this

Things I’ve tried:

• Lavender oil on my pillow
• Camomile tea before bed
• Not drinking caffeine after 12pm
• KALMS tablets

Have you tried something to drown out the "brain chatter" ?? I don't have ADHD but I do have depression and I find that nighttime is DREADFUL for intrusive thoughts and nonstop whirling of the mind, not even necessarily miserable ones, just constant! So I listen to audio books. The same ones for almost 20 years, so they're so familiar I don't even really have to listen. They just take up the space in my head that the brain chatter does. Not sure if that would work for someone ND, but it does work for me.

Some ADHDers swear by melatonin. I’ve tried it and it does nothing for me but my son has it prescribed and it’s very helpful for him.

Definetly recommend listening to something. I either do audiobooks or an episode of a very familiar show (eg friends). I put the phones screen either off or face down, then put an earbud in to listen.

I keep waking up too it's so annoying what's worked for me is having some ear plugs , eye mask and sleeping tablets on the bedside cabinet as soon as I wake up eye mask and ear plugs if I'm still awake 15 mins later I then take a tablet

I was reading something yesterday which said Magnesium supplements help with sleep.

It's more likely that having your son has disrupted your sleep pattern.
I have a snoring husband and have barely had a decent chunk of sleep in nearly two years, despite now sleeping in a separate room. I can't untrain my body with the constant waking. I now wake up with the sun rise too so it's just gotten earlier and earlier. There are really good blackouts in the room, and it's no lighter than our bedroom, but for some reason I just can't stay asleep.

I agree you very familiar audiobooks. It's the only thing that works for me to drown out that noise.

The advice is always to establish a strong and consistent sleep routine and timings. Try to get into a fixed bedtime / wake up even over the weekend.

Cool room
No blue light / screens before bed

I also have headband earphones that I can wear and fall asleep wearing. Personally, I love ASMR videos on YouTube (don't watch, just listen)

If there was a pill to pop that suited everyone and worked the whole world would be on it.
I would try listening to Michael sealey meditation/ sleep videos on YouTube and take up meditation through the day - you can't stop a frenetic brain instantly so meditation over a few weeks is worth a try

Sleepio app.

Can you tell yourself a story? Make one up that you can drop into anytime . Each time you wake up you remember where you were in the story . That calms my noise.

I am awaiting assessment for ADHD and ASD and also have the racing / intrusive thoughts. I have been using the Headspace app for about 18 months and find it really helpful for helping me concentrate on relaxing rather than my stupid brain!

My DS is also up every night and there is a Headspace meditation called 'Falling Back to Sleep' that works like a charm!

Good luck

I also use Headspace - I use the sleepcasts to help me drop off and the meditations to fall back to sleep. I'm also going to experiment with upping my step count during the day. I've recently had a couple of nights when I've slept right through with no night wakings for the first time in years. Both days I had spent a lot of time outside walking.

I've had killer insomnia for years but am slowly, slowly (very two steps forward one step back) fixing it. I've found that Andrew Huberman's (a neurobiologist) advice is the biggest help. It mainly revolves around morning practices to reset your circadian rhythm which I find easier and more effective than a strict evening/nighttime protocol. I also find that doing a craft like crochet/knitting/sewing helps me a lot as it's an act of focussed mindfulness and the rhythm of counting and repetition shuts down a lot of the 'chatter' in my brain. And when I wake in the middle of the night, which is my main problem with sleep, if I think through my stitches, instead of thinking about imaginary scenarios, even really nice ones, I'm much more likely to get back to sleep.

hubermanlab.com/toolkit-for-sleep/

Thanks for all the replies.

I do have a routine, I have to because of my 3 year old. But I do struggle to stay off my phone before bed.

I do tend to get the intrusive thoughts too.

I am thinking of trying melatonin.

Another vote for an audiobook. Agatha Christie does it for me.

Also a sleep mask; I find putting that on is akin to putting a cover on a birdcage, I almost immediately drop off and stay asleep longer, especially in these light mornings.

It's so individual.
melatonin has no effect on me.
Monotony makes me depressed: I rage at the performance sleep/routine is everything proponents.
ASMR makes my skin crawl: give me nails on blackboard to listen to instead
Still, All worth trying, but don't be surprised if many things tried, fail.

OP seems to know that racing mind is their problem: need to find a way to let go of thoughts and allow self to relax. I find writing lists helps me relax & let myself forget things long enough to fall asleep. Also the distraction of podcasts that are slightly interesting in a boring way (can't describe it better). I get back to sleep fastest if I stay in the dark in the bed, unless I'm getting irritated by being bored witless. Darkness is huge key for me.

After some success with 400mg bisglycinate at bedtime, HRT as well really worked for me (late 30s). Oestrogel and Utrogestan.

*400mg magnesium bisglycinate

Rub vaseline over your eyelids. I swear it makes them heavy and makes you sleepy.

Add lavendar oils on your pillow.

The combination of the two will.make you snooze like a baby.