Violence against women - keeping evidence

[thelongarmofthelaw]

Posting here for traffic although there is an AIBU element to this.

I recently sat on a jury covering domestic abuse and whilst we did have enough evidence to convict (based largely on testimony) it would have been much simpler if there were more photographic evidence of the injuries and other types of corroborating evidence (phone records, other parties with knowledge). So I’m urging anyone who is in an abusive relationship to document the abuse/injuries via photographs (email them to a secret account if you need to), and if at all possible find someone to confide in if you can. If you have someone you can really trust then screen shot messages, or again email them to your secret email. The more evidence you have the easier it will be in court. And if you are in a physically abusive relationship you may well want to go to court.

This likely also applies in the case of divorce and other types of abuse, e.g. financial, coercion.

I saw some absolutely heroic displays of bravery in court but I also witnessed a woman being asked deeply personal and frankly misogynistic questions about her mental health and sexual preferences in an attempt to discredit her testimony evidence.

We did convict, but information about the defendant’s historic behaviour was not available to the jury. This included information that he was considered high risk to women at the time of the incident.

I hope you never have to use this advice but perhaps it will help someone out.

We did convict, but information about the defendant’s historic behaviour was not available to the jury

This is the case in every trial. You have to convict based on the evidence, not on what they may have done in the past.

But absolutely agree with everything else you've said.

Can I add - any injuries should include your face or identifying marks - a bruise on a shoulder could be anyones.

But as someone who has been in an abusive relationship, I know it is not something you go about doing. It is also dangerous having these photos on devices, if the perpetrator sees it then she could well end up dead. You also need to understand DV to know this is not how a victims mind works, unless maybe they are already in the phase of planning to leave, possibly! In an ideal world yes, but realistically it's just not something that is going to be done, and suggesting photographic evidence is required is actually more damaging than you think! Think about it.

Agree with @MissMaple82 it just doesn’t work out happening like that when you’re in the thick of it and it’s dangerous too. Basically abused women are on their own (with their traumatised children). Expected to build their own case whilst being dismissed by police during ongoing abuse/control. It’s appalling. And men know it.

I’d be interested to hear from anyone who works professionally in this area if a secret email address is a good idea. Sounds like something that could be used against a DA victim to suggest they were building a case and potentially goading the other party knowing the response would be recorded. I don’t for a second say that’s what you’re suggesting people do or that people do it, but it sounds like the possible answer to that sort of evidence.

I don't think text messages to anyone else would help - in my case they couldn't use my account of an abusive incident sent by text to my mum on the day it happened because it was deemed hearsay.

This.

I get what you’re saying OP but my ex terrified me. He hardly ever physically hurt me with punches etc, it was usually sexual assaults and rape, but the worry of what he might do. He would tell me exactly how he would dispose of my body so no one would
find me or miss me, and how he’d get away with it. I totally believed him. So to sum up, my paranoia, especially right before I left with our children, was very high. I probably wouldn’t have dared amassed evidence against him.

Thanks for the insight and for sharing your stories, I can see it’s a complex scenario that I don’t fully understand the dynamics of. I guess I’m really pissed off that it was quite clear that he had done it to the people who had the full complement of information, but the jury were working from a subset and it feels like it was a little bit left to chance. A bit close for comfort. I’m also angry at how the women had to expose great personal detail in this process. It doesn’t seem fair.

other parties with knowledge

Eventually get similar treatment to the victim in various ways. Physically or covertly with threats, lies, rumours, disgusting humiliation (ie: the dog poo) blackmail. They’ll try anything with such brass neck. Or just intimated by their power or popularity. Or feel they’ll lose out on something (in whatever way) if they make the decision to speak up. Turn the other cheek is much easier. People might think the victim is now fine and ready to rebuild but the abuse can just continue covertly.

Devices smashed up as the abuser is secretly monitoring internet use.

i used to keep my post in the car and hid my spare car key at work and even then i still thought that that was normal behaviour on my part so taking photos of stuff and keeping it on my phone wasn't something i ever thought of doing.
plus i didnt' realise that google photos keeps everything and he knew my password for email so what would have happened then?

i get what you're saying but when you're living with it, it was impossible for me to see what was going on even though i was hiding post etc etc.

They are manipulative, calculating and always 10 steps ahead of the victim and the police. It’s ingrained. They can be very damaged and experienced bullies and are extremely good at what they do.

In JD’s case I feel that AH’s recorded interrogations were initially an awful attempt to save the marriage, get to the root of the problems/arguments. Prove to JD he didn’t make sense/was being unreasonable/needed to change/or whatever.

But that went pear-shaped 😐